Heart's Devotion
by sign144
Summary: When Bella is bitten and turned into a vampire things don't work out the way Edward hopes. There's someone else with a claim to her heart that makes Edward wonder if he will be able to spend the rest of his life with the woman he loves.
1. It Begins

**AN: Welcome Back, FanFiction and Happy New Year.** Okay so I am starting my new story today. This one might be one of my favorites because I love all the characters and this gave me a chance to do a few things that I hadn't done before. One of my reviewers said last story that I keep growing with every story and I really home that is true with this one because I absolutely love the premise and if things go right this will be the first of a trilogy. Don't worry I haven't forgotten about **_Beyond the Past_** or any of my other stories that could have an additional add on. If I can get those stories right then they will be out too. Also because I see doing more with this series I am going to try to update more than I normally do. So it might not be double posting Wednesdays or Thursdays but I will make sure that I get at least two chapters out each week. Alright I think that is all so without anymore hold up I give you **_Heart's Devotion_** :).

**Name: **_Heart's Devotion_

**Category: **Drama /Romance

**Rating: **M-Mature (simply to be on the save side because of language)

**Summary: **When Bella is bitten and turned into a vampire things don't work out the way Edward hopes. There's someone else with a claim to her heart that makes Edward question whether he'll be able to spend forever with the woman he loves.

Can true love win out over legends? Can one word change the course of three lives? Is fate truly the strongest power there is?

_Disclaimer: If you don't know by now then you never will. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I'm just having fun._

_**IT BEGINS**_

Edward POV

_I had to make it. There was no other option; no other choice. I couldn't let her die._

_As I ran through the trees that was the only thought in my mind. It had been my only thought since I realized that Victoria wasn't in Brazil but was actually on her way back to Forks; back to Bella._

_I should never have left her. I should have known that my sins would come back to haunt her, but I had been trying to protect her. Trying to keep her safe and now it felt like I was only seconds away from losing her for always._

_I could see her street. It was closer than I ever dreamed it would be again. I hated that Victoria had picked the one sunny day in Forks to plan her attack but at this point I didn't care if every one of Bella's neighbors saw me sparkle as long as I got to her in time. I weaved my way through backyards and dense trees rushing to my angel's room. I jumped before my feet reached the edge of her grass landing harshly against the tree outside her window. I scaled it as if the fires of hell where behind me and indeed they would be if anything happened to Bella. I would not remain to see the outcome as my ticket to Italy was already in my pocket._

_I pushed against her window but it was locked. Why was it locked? Her window was never locked to me, but she hadn't been expecting me. I had told her that I wouldn't be back. That it would be as if I hadn't existed and she had believed me. I was about to kick in the glass when my phone went off. I didn't want to distract myself from Bella but this ringtone I knew and if anyone could tell me what I needed to know now it was her._

_"Alice, what did you see?" I didn't have time for niceties._

_"She's at the meadow Edward" I could hear the run in her voice. They were obviously on their way and I was grateful that after all my time away my family would come on such short notice. "I saw Victoria there also but then everything went dark."_

_I didn't know that I had fallen until I felt the earth slam into my body. "I don't think she's dead but we have to hurry." Alice was still talking. "We are almost to Forks but you have a better chance of making it there before us. You have to hurry, Edward."_

_No sooner had she said it my body was in motion again. I couldn't fail Bella again. I had done so many things wrong by her but if by God she could find a way to give me another chance I would never leave her again; I would never let anything come close to hurting her again._

_I was close. I could smell her beloved familiar scent as I moved through the forest desperate to have her in my arms safe and unharmed. My throat tingled slightly as the scent became stronger having been so long without it but I didn't care. For the first time in a long time blood was not foremost in my thoughts. They all centered on the one person in the world that made this existence worth bearing; the only person I would ever need._

_She was there. She was around the corner and I couldn't wait to touch her again. I couldn't wait to feel her body against mine; to touch my lips to hers; to tell her that I love her and that I would never leave her alone again._

_I was one step from the meadow when I heard it. The most terrifying sound in all creation; Bella's scream and with that my dead heart stopped and I crumbled to the ground tasting death for the first time in a hundred years._


	2. Chapter 1: Welcome Fate

_Disclaimer: If you don't know by now then you never will. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I'm just having fun._

_**Chapter One: WELCOME FATE**_

_Bella POV_

It was strange to be heading to the meadow without him. The one and only time I had been here was with him and the thought of being here alone hurt.

_You're not alone_; his voice resonated in my head at that thought. It was still painful to hear him but I had become accustom to his velvety voice coming to me in times of danger and self doubt. It was like a part of me refused to believe they had only been a dream.

I made my way through the trees happy that for once I wasn't tripping every few seconds. It wouldn't work to come back with scrapes and bruises all over the place. Jacob would have a fit and that was the last thing I needed. It was bad enough that he hadn't wanted me to go alone in the first place and had practically begged me to stay home. But Sam had need him to patrol and I had needed to find some sort of something before I answered any of his questions and this was the only place I could think to do it.

I knew that Jake was just trying to protect me especially with Victoria having been in the area last week but after the pack had taken care of Laurent she had disappeared. I really didn't think that she would be back so soon. Not that I thought she would ever try to stop killing me but just that I had a little time before her next attack.

How weird was it that I was planning my life in between vampire attacks and being protected by a group of oversized wolf boys instead of a vampire family that now only lived in my imagination? When did my life get so complicated? Oh yeah, it was when I fell in love and had my heart ripped out by the only man that it could ever belong to.

But he was gone. He had run his course with me and had found me lacking and had left to find other distractions and thus I was here. A mere shell of myself but here trying to make it through every minute, every hour, every day without him even through it would be so much easier just to give up.

_But you promised_; that voice called out again. Yes, I had promised not to do anything dangerous or crazy and to move on with my life. But I had already broken two of those three vows as he had broken the most important one to me so what would be the difference in just letting go.

_You can't_; he argued back. I wanted to scream out why. Why was he the only one that got to break his word? Why was he the only one that was able to change his mind and his heart? Why could he walk away intact while I had the misfortune to be stuck here living as if he had never touched my life? Pretending for Charlie, Renee, all my friends at school, Jake, everyone that I wasn't miserable. That I wasn't dying inside quickly from the lack of his presence. Why?

But I didn't scream. I didn't wallow. I didn't stop. I kept walking toward my next heartbreak and the velvety voice was silent once more. Not that that surprised me. The voice never had answers for any of my real questions. It just remains so that it could slowly and irreversibly drive me crazy and I welcomed it. The faster my mind went the sooner I could be with him always.

I walked into the meadow noting the changes. Like me it had dried up and died without his presence. The flowery scent that had masked my own when we were here last was none existent and the grass that had served as our first bed was brown and withered. The trees that had framed his sparkling beauty were barren and lifeless. There was nothing here for me but memories and even those seemed to have faded along with the majesty of this place.

Yet I moved in further determined to torture myself just a little more. I laid my body down where it felt as though we had been before and closed my eyes letting my mind drift back to when he was beside me. I was so deep into the moment that I could feel his hand in mine, the sun on my face, his scent dazzling my nose. I breathed in deeply and was struck by how much of that scent was still here.

I opened my eyes and looked around but there was no one there. His touch hadn't remained once my eyes had looked to prove my senses wrong. I breathed again and again the scent hit me. Tears stung my eyes and I began to hyperventilate from trying to draw in as much of him as was left.

"Oh Ed…" I wanted to say his name. I wanted to cry out to him but I knew that if I let that name fall from my lips the dam would burst and there would be no putting me back together.

I stood quickly determined to leave and never lay eyes on this place again. As much as I still wanted to be with him there was nothing for me here anymore; maybe there never had been.

I turned to leave and that was when I saw it. Movement in the trees. Slow and yet faster than human. Could it be? Had he come back? Were my senses not playing games with me but alerting me to the fact that he was here; that my dream had returned?

I couldn't stop the cry that rang from my lips. "Edward?" My arms wrapped instinctually around me trying to block my heart from falling out of the whole still open in my chest.

"No not quite" She had found me. She had found a way through my protectors and my defenses and she was here.

I somehow always knew that she would. That like her mate there would be one moment, one second where she would sneak through and I would be hers. It almost seemed fitting that she would find me here. That as I had come to say goodbye to him I would really be saying goodbye to everything.

Even stranger was that I was ready. I was tired of fighting the inevitable. Tired of being so alone when no one knew but me how miserable I really was. At least this way Charlie would be safe, Jake could move on and my last memory could be of him.

"Aren't you going to run?" She circled me moving closer with each step. "Aren't you going to beg for your life? Tell me how Edward isn't here?"

"No" I said quietly as the voice inside my head growled and screamed yes. I knew that I should but I couldn't.

"Really?" She stopped with a smirk on her face. "And why is that? Is it because he left? Is it because he grew tired of always having to protect you? Is it because in the end you really were no more than a pet to him?"

I knew all she was saying was true but I didn't respond. She obviously knew everything and I didn't see any reason to add to it. I closed my eyes and hung my head trying to recapture those moments with him once again. If she was going to kill me, and I was sure that she was, then I wanted him to be the last thing on my mind.

"Are you not going to defend him?" She was moving again. "Are you not going to tell me that he will be back? That he loves you?" Again I said nothing.

"Interesting" She was close now. The smell of her so like him and yet so different that I felt the tears on my check before I knew I was crying.

"What did he say to you I wonder." She was still talking but my mind was doing its best to block her out. "Did he tell you that it had all been a mistake? Did he lie and say that he didn't love you? That he wasn't devoted to you?"

I opened my eyes then and looked at her. How did she know all that he had said? Was I some kind of vampire gossip? Did they all sit around and talk about the poor human that actually believed someone as beautiful and amazing as them could love her? Or worse had he told her himself? Was she now one of his distractions?

"Ah, that must be it." The smirk was back as she tossed the red locks behind her. "He must have told you that he didn't love you." She laughed deep in her throat. "And you believed him. That is absolutely perfect."

She moved again coming toward me in a blur. "He wouldn't have hunted me across the continent if he didn't love you. He wouldn't have left to pursue me if he hadn't loved you." Her hand was at my throat. "He wouldn't have killed my beloved if he didn't love you." She screamed.

"Why are you saying that?" I spoke for the first time. If she was going to kill me she should just hurry up and do it but to torture me with lies was beyond pain.

"Because I want you to hurt just as much as your Edward, and you will." She laughed into my face. "When he finds your broken body in his abandoned room where you two dreamed about your future together he will beg for death."

_No Edward_, I thought letting his name whisper into my mind. _You have to go on_, I toldhim_. You have to live for us both._

I knew he wouldn't, couldn't, hear me but I hoped as I sent my message out into the world that wherever he was he would know. That he would feel it within.

_Goodbye Jake_, I closed my eyes again saying all I needed to. _Take care of Charlie and be strong; you'll find it again I know it. Alice, Carlisle be there for him. Don't let him hunt her. Don't let him feel guilty. He couldn't help how he felt. I was able to feel his love for but a short time but my love will stay with him for an eternity._

Her teeth sank into my neck as if it was butter and I knew this was it. This was my last moment on this earth; my last moment with him_. I love you Edward_, I cried_, always_ and then I let my screams burst forth.

As I dropped to the ground I heard the growls and felt what could only be a boulder crash into me. I opened my eyes to see a blur of movement in the distance but I couldn't concentrate. The pain in my neck was intensifying, the growls were getting louder, and the ground was vibrating under my body.

"Bella" I heard someone scream my name and I forced my eyelids to pause on their way down. "Bella, baby no. Please be okay. I need you baby. Come on look at me. Be okay." The voice next to me ordered.

"Jake?" I looked over to see his soft brown eyes looking down on me. His brow creased with worry. "Jake you have to go." I couldn't take it if anything happened to him because of me.

"No" He said with relentless determination. "I'm not leaving you. Just tell me where it hurts?"

Before I could answer I heard my name yelled in a lighter more musical voice. "Alice?" I breathed. What was going on?

"Bella just be still" Carlisle's voice drifted over me.

"Don't touch her bloodsucker" I heard Jacob yelling. "This is all your fault. You and your leech of family."

"I need to examine her" The patience in his voice never wavered. "Do you want her to die?"

Jake let go of me and seemed to only be holding my hand now. Carlisle's light touch felt as if it was everywhere. I knew there was nothing that he could do but watch as my life floated away but I still felt a sense of warmth from the fact that he had returned. That Alice had seen something and they come to help. I just wished they had been a moment sooner.

"Carlisle, it's too late." I whispered finding my voice. I looked into all their faces one last time. Carlisle, Alice, Esme, and Jake my family was beside me. "She bit me. I'm dying."

I heard the intake of breath but I couldn't make my eyes open. My heart was slowing and it felt as if I was getting lighter and lighter.

"Bella, baby, don't say that" Jake was crying. I knew it but I couldn't help him. I couldn't comfort him. I was losing my fight.

"Edward" I heard Carlisle scream for the first time ever. My eyes shot open looking through the haze that my vision was becoming. He can't be here? It would be to perfect to have my angel with me as I departed this earth. To be able to look at him once more before my last breath came.

Slowly I saw him. He was coming to me with anguish written on his face. This wasn't right. He shouldn't look so sad. I needed him to know that I still loved him and that I would always love him and that he needed to go on for me; for us.

I wanted to speak as he dropped down beside me but the words wouldn't form through the burning in my chest from seeing him again. I couldn't take my eyes off of him. His beauty had not changed and I felt pain in my heart having him so close and not being able to stay with him. Not being able to spend eternity with him.

"She bit her Edward." Esme was explaining.

"Carlisle?" I heard him question his father but his eyes never left mine as his head lowered toward me. Was he going to kiss me one last time? Yes my soul cried out.

"It's too late for that Edward." Carlisle's hand stopped him. "There is nothing we can do?"

"What do you mean nothing?" I heard Jake's angry voice scream out. "Fix this and fix it now."

"I can't" Carlisle whispered to him.

"Jake" I heard Sam's voice and pulled my eyes away from Edward for the first time. I hadn't noticed that not only were all the wolf pack there but so where all the Cullens even Rosalie.

"We need to go" Sam was telling him.

"No" Jake didn't look at him or move. "I'm not leaving her. I can't"

"You have to" The emotion in those three words were the most I had ever heard from Sam. "I understand but you have to."

I looked over to Jake and the pack and was shocked at the amount of pain that registered on their faces. Granted I wasn't a stranger but other than Embry and Jake I didn't really know the other three all that well.

"It okay Jake." I didn't want him here to see this. I didn't want him to witness the end. "Take care of Charlie." I managed to get out even through my throat had become an inferno.

"I love you Bella" He leaned down and kissed me lightly on the cheek.

I smiled not able to open my mouth because I was sure that fire would come pouring out. I saw his pack brothers pull him away and I knew that I would never see him again. I should have told him that I loved him too but it would have only made it harder for him to move on. At least now he could find someone else. Someone that would be able to love him the way that he deserved to be loved. It would be for the best.

The Cullens moved in closer to me and my skin started to sizzle from the nearness. "We have to move her" Carlisle was saying.

"Back to the old house?" Emmett asked.

"For now but we need to come up with somewhere else for after." Carlisle answered him.

"Alaska?" Esme spoke.

"Maybe" Carlisle seemed to be pondering this. "We can't take her back to New York."

I didn't understand their conversation. What would it matter what they did with my body after I died. Charlie would want a funeral and Renee would be heartbroken but it didn't matter where they had it the end result would be the same.

I looked to Edward who hadn't taken his eyes off me and who had moved to the spot that Jacob had previously been in. He still looked so sad and I wanted to comfort him somehow. To assure him that it was okay and that I was ready to go. That is wasn't the death that I had wanted but it was fine.

Just then a thought hit me. Maybe it wasn't too late. I listened to my heart and although the beat was not as strong as it normally was it was still there. I knew that he didn't love me and didn't want to be bothered with me but if he could simply save me, change me, then I wouldn't have to stay with him. I could travel on my own and he wouldn't have to worry about me interrupting his distractions I would make his vow back to him.

I found my voice again. "Please" I begged. "Please don't let me die." I wanted to tell him all that I had just thought but the pain and fire was getting stronger in my throat.

"I'm sorry Bella" He looked down at me. "I'm so sorry love."

Even in this moment he couldn't change me. I looked around at the other Cullens hoping that one of them would do it but none of them moved, not even Alice.

"It's going to be fine Bella" She smiled at me. "Trust me; you are going to be just fine."

Why was she smiling at me? Did she realize that I only had seconds left? As it was I was surprised that I had managed to hang on this long. I could have sworn that Victoria had bit harder than…..

That's when I stopped. I stopped thinking about all that was going on around me and focused on what was going on within me. The fire of my skin, the pain in my chest, the burn in my throat. I was dying but not in the way I had thought. I was becoming one of them. That was why Jake had to leave and they were making plans. I couldn't stay here; they couldn't stay here.

I looked at Edward relief on my face but he still looked so sad and angry. He didn't want me. He never had. Well that was fine. I would travel and see the world and go to a different school and live my life without him. Just as he said, it would be just like he never existed.

**AN: Hello again everyone. I was surprised that I didn't get as many reviews or hits as normal for the first chapter but I also understand that it was a short chapter and it was the week after New Year's so I am hoping that more with come from this posting. I would hate to not finish this story and I know that the way it is starting sounds like stories that have been posted before but believe me this one has a twist to it. So I am waiting to see how many reviews I get here and then I will decide if I should continue. Let me know what you think.**

**Don't make me blue; please review :)**


	3. Chapter 2: Change Comes

_Disclaimer: If you don't know by now then you never will. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I'm just having fun._

_**Chapter Two: CHANGE COMES**_

_Bella POV_

Three days. I knew that it would take three days for the change to happen but I could swear that it had been longer than three days. It felt as if I had been in this purgatory for years.

My heart was beating out of my chest and I wasn't sure that I still had skin because it had to have all burned off by now. I couldn't move any part of me because to even think about moving seemed to send a shock of brimstone directly to that spot. I hurt in ways I didn't know a body could hurt and all I wanted was someone to drown me in water. Just hold me under until my limbs began to move again and my head stopped this inferno.

I had barely felt it when the Cullens carried me back to the white house in the forest. The furniture was still there and I could remember being carried up to Edward's room although I didn't know why. We weren't together anymore and he didn't have a bed. I think I had tried to get up from his couch but was held down by strong hands that could only have been Emmett. Carlisle had tried to explain what was happening but the only thing I could hear was the never ceasing pounding of my heart. It had been going so fast and at this point I didn't think it would ever stop.

I had moaned some and moved little the whole time that I had been here. It's like the screams and tears that are inside of me just won't come out even though it would feel so much better if they would. So with nothing coming out and nothing moving I had nothing to do but lay here and think. That was the one part of my body other than the flames and my heart I couldn't stop.

My mind raced with thoughts of Charlie, the wolves and the Cullens but it seemed to center around two people the most, Edward and Jacob. I couldn't stop the memories from flooding my mind over and over and over. I would remember when I first met Edward and the look of hatred that reflected in his eyes and in the same space of time I would remember the times that he held me close and whispered his love for me as I slept.

I could see Jake standing on the beach at La Push as clearly as if I was standing next to him. I could hear him telling me all the scary stories of his ancestors and warning me that none of the legends were true. I wanted to laugh at that part. He was a werewolf and I was turning into a vampire. I guess we both had changed so much from that day.

I could hear voices coming to me back and forth. Words they both had shared of their love and devotion.

_So the lion fell in love with the lamb._

_I know what he did but I will never leave you._

_You mean everything to me._

_I'm not supposed to tell you but I can't not tell you._

_You will always be the most important person to me for eternity._

_There will never be anyone else for me._

_You are my life now._

_Nothing matters but you. You are what holds me to this earth._

Their voices ringing in my ears repeatedly. It's like I can't shut them off. All of the ideas and problems I thought I had have vanished and the choices I knew where at my feet were gone. Ironically, in the end there will be just me. No Edward, no Jake, no nobody. Just me wondering the earth for all time alone kinda like the incredible hulk.

The incredible hulk? I wanted to shake my head at the stupidity that was zooming through my head but I knew that would cause nothing but pain. Not that there was anything but pain right now but I didn't want to aggravate it.

I breathed in and that only served to flame the fire in my chest. I started thrashing and the arms were back.

"Calm down Bella" the velvet voice came to me although I couldn't tell if it was true or still my imagination. "It's not much longer, love. If I could take the pain away I would."

I could still hear the anguish in his voice as plain as if I was looking into his face. He was blaming himself for my misfortune. Didn't he know that without him here I would have been dead long ago? Either from Tyler's van or James or any number of ailments that came with being Bella Swan. He had saved me so many times and this was no exception.

Victoria would have killed me if he hadn't shown up or the wolves would have had to destroy me without the Cullens here. I wouldn't be getting a chance at immortality if it wasn't for him and I still wanted that time to be spent with him even if he didn't. But I understood and I wasn't going to force myself on them. I knew how they felt.

_Why should I help? What is she to me?_

I heard Rosalie's clear voice asking the question. She had brought that up last year and still I hadn't seen the writing on the wall. I hadn't known that the day was coming where he would leave. When they all would pack up and move on without me. She had tried to tell me in her own way but I had been too caught up in my own desires that I hadn't been listening.

It would be okay. Maybe I would find my own family. Find some others that were interested in being vegetarian and would be willing to live as close to human as possible. Or maybe I could convert regular vampires into this way of live. Yes, that was what I would do. I would travel the world seeking other vampires and teaching them of a new lifestyle. That could be my mission. What I would do with my next millennium.

"Oh Bella" I heard Alice's laughing voice. I hadn't even known she was here. "Don't you know Carlisle already tried that?" She must have seen my plan as it came to be. Boy that girl was good. "Why don't you just lay there and relax as much as you possibly can and then we will talk when you wake up." The laughter was gone but the happiness was still there.

"I have so much to tell you and of course we have to get you a whole new wardrobe and this time you can't argue with me because your size is going to be different so you won't be able to wear any of your old things."

"Alice" Was that Jasper? "I don't think now is the time to talk about all that."

"Why not?" She was asking. "It's not like she has anything to do at the moment but listen to us talk."

"But maybe she's in too much pain to hear you." That sounded like Emmett. Was the whole family here just watching me? That has to be dull.

"But she hasn't screamed or done anything the whole day and a half that she has been here." Had it only been that long? That meant that I still had at least another day to go.

"Maybe something is wrong." Edward's voice hadn't changed.

"Nothing is wrong except for her outfit." Alice sounded bored. "I really wish you guys would leave so that I can put her in something else."

"Only you would go shopping while Bella was laying her going through this." Now Emmett sounded like he was laughing.

"I had to do something." She was telling him. "You and Jasper played video games so I don't see how my going out to make sure Bella had something decent to wear upon waking could be worse."

"It's not but it is funny" I could hear Emmett laughing again.

They were all quiet again which didn't work for me. Alice had been right in the fact that their voices had pushed the pain out of my mind for a while. I wanted to get them to start talking again but I didn't want to move and I couldn't imagine speaking. Yet the pain was coming on with a vengeance and I had to do something.

I moaned slightly and tried to think of anything but the burning that was my whole body. "It's okay Bella" Edward's voice was right there. "Just hold on and everything will be okay." His lips touched my forehead.

Did he just kiss me? What was that about? Had he changed his mind? Did he want me back? Could we go back to how things were before?

And what about Jake? Would I ever be able to see him again? Would he be able to forgive me or would he now hate me? I wanted to talk to him. I wanted to talk to everyone. I wanted to know what my now endless future held.

* * *

Edward POV

_He's back_, Jasper let me know. As if I couldn't smell him coming. I had never hated anyone the way that I was starting to hate this dog that had the nerve to think of my Bella as his. She was mine and she always would be. I don't care what their stupid legends say.

"I know" I growled out. I didn't want to upset Bella now but there was no way that I was leaving her. She needed me more than ever right now and I needed to be near her. I needed to touch her and know that she was still here.

I had never been as scared in either of my lives as I was when I heard Bella scream; when I saw Victoria with her mouth to Bella's throat. All I could think of was ripping her apart. I knew my family was close and I had heard those dogs moving in but I wanted to do it. I wanted to be the one to end her miserable existence. To avenge my love.

I had been so caught up in destroying her that I hadn't noticed, I hadn't seen, that Bella was still alive. That Bella was changing right before me. If I had let the dogs handle it or let Emmett and Jasper take over completely I could have sucked the venom out. I could have saved her but no I was too busy carrying out my anger to pay attention and for that I was paying penance at her bedside.

Every moan or scream or pain that she experienced I wanted to experience to. I needed to experience as reward for not being here when she needed me most. For leaving her in the care of filthy, disrespectable mutts that could have easy killed her themselves.

And still part of me was happy. Not that she was going through the most horrific pain imaginable but that she would be as I. That I wouldn't have to leave her again. That we could be together forever and never have to hold back anything from each other. That we could be equals in our relationship. At least if she gave me a chance.

But I had seen that mongrels thoughts and I knew that there was a chance that I had missed my opportunity. That she had moved on as I had asked her to and that she wouldn't accept my advances but I would try. I would do whatever it took to win her heart again and I would never let her go.

_Do you want me to go and talk to him_, Emmett wanted so badly to take on one of the wolves. I didn't understand if it was just the simple fact that we were opposites and our instincts where to kill each other or if like bears he just saw them as a challenge.

"No" I knew no good could come from Emmett going to talk to them and Carlisle would hate it if we started a war while he was gone.

He, Esme, and Rosalie had gone to pack up things in New York and move our belongings. We still didn't know where so for the time being they were just bringing them here until Bella woke up and then we would decide with Bella; as a family.

I loved the thought of that. As much as I loathed myself for it I couldn't stop the spread of joy that the idea of Bella being truly part of my family brought. The warmth that boiled in my chest at the thought of sharing this room or any room with her. Of building this life together and planning all that we could do. I still wished that she could have experienced all that life had to offer but I would make up for it. I would take her anywhere she wanted to go. Let her see all there was to see and she would be with me for all of it. It would be like seeing it all again for the first time; the only time.

_Well if I can't go can someone_, Emmett asked. _The smell is driving me crazy._

Looked to Alice and she stood already knowing what I would ask. We had done the same thing yesterday and I had a feeling we would be doing the same thing tomorrow and every day until we left which couldn't happen fast enough for me. I couldn't wait to get Bella away from that mutt.

_He left but I believe he will be back tomorrow_, Alice told me when she returned confirming what I had already suspected. _Carlisle, Esme and Rose should also be here tomorrow three hours before Bella wakes up. Can you see her Edward?_ Alice asked having a vision of Bella running through the forest. _She's gone to be beautiful._

I nodded. She had always been beautiful to me. I reached for her hand glad that it didn't seem to hurt her more for me to hold it. It was like I couldn't let go of her. I couldn't not touch her.

I could feel the slight change in her skin. It was still soft and warm but it wasn't the same. There was an undercurrent of steel to it now. A lack of movement or maybe just the fact that her blood was starting to stop its flow. I knew we were closing in on the last day of the transformation. It wouldn't be much longer.

I was glad. I didn't know how much longer I could take this and if I couldn't take it then I really didn't know how Bella was doing it. I remembered my change and the screams and cries that I had made. I had seen Esme, Rose, and Emmett go through this and all of them had cried out and thrashed about but not my Bella. She laid there and held it all in. She was so strong and I was lucky to have her.

I leaned in and placed my lips as close to her ear as possible. "You're doing great Bella" I told her. "If you need to then squeeze my hand or cry out or whatever but just know that we are here." I moved closer. "I'm here and I'm not leaving. Not now; not ever." I needed her to know that my place was with her. That my place had always been with her; that it would always be with her.

Everyone came and went over the next twenty-four hours. True to Alice's word Carlisle, Esme, and Rosalie showed up on right on time. Alice was at the door to great them but I hadn't left my post. Carlisle came to check on her and to let us know that everything was here and ready where ever we decided to go.

The dog came back shortly after their arrival and this time Carlisle talked to him. He told him that we would be leaving as soon as Bella was awake and that for now it would be best if he didn't have contact with her. I had been smiling the whole time although it didn't sit well with the mutt. He had howled and cried out but left none the less.

It was getting close to time according to Alice and Carlisle and my skin was tingling at the prospect of seeing Bella awake. I knew she wouldn't run into my arms but I could hope. I could hope that she would wake up and see me and know that I had lied and that I loved her and would always love her and that we belonged together and then run into my arms kissing me and telling me how much she forgives me and how important I am to her and that the wolf means nothing to her.

_I don't see that happening_, Alice spoke from behind me. _But I do see her being happy to see you_. She tried to encourage_. However, I see her being really embarrassed if you don't let me change what she's wearing._

I looked up at her. "Really Alice" I know that she would do just about anything to dress Bella and I didn't put it past her to use this as an excuse.

_Really Edward_, She mimicked back to me. _Trust me. There is dried blood on her shirt and her neck and scratches on both her top and her pants. The last thing you want is for her to wake up looking like that. Besides I already saw her in another outfit so you might as well get up and let me do what needs to be done._

I knew I would lose so I turned to Bella and let her know that I would be right outside and that Alice was going to take care of her. Carlisle walked up as soon as I closed the door.

_It won't be long now Edward_, He told me. _You can hear it in her heartbeat._ I nodded. These would be the last heartbeats she would ever have and I wanted to remember them all. _She's almost as strong as Emmett._ I nodded again.

He was quiet for a moment but then he asked the question that had been running through my head for three days now.

_What is her relationship with the wolf?_

I wished that I could tell him. I wished that I could say there was nothing but I didn't know and it hurt that I could only shake in bewilderment.

_Edward_, Alice called and I ran back into the room. _It's time._

The whole family must have sensed it because everyone was gathered in my room waiting for Bella. Her heart drummed out a staccato beat and then there was silence as we all waited. Seconds later the last beat came and we all knew that the change was done.

I didn't want to startle her so I leaned in slowly and let the words flow that had been burning to come out ever since my eyes locked with hers. "I love you."

**AN: Alright, so that is it for now. If I get enough reviews then I might post again this week but I am not making any promises. I can't wait to hear what you all think and if you have figured out where I am going with this yet. Let me know.**

**Don't make me blue; please review :)**


	4. Chapter 3: Almost Counts

_Disclaimer: If you don't know by now then you never will. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I'm just having fun._

_**Chapter Three: ALMOST COUNTS**_

_Bella POV_

It was done. There was nothing more to say. Nothing more I could do. No way that I could change it. I was no longer human. No longer mortal. I wouldn't age; I wouldn't get sick; I wouldn't have children; I wouldn't die. I would stay the same for all eternity. It had been my dream but in that dream I was with Edward. It had made sense and now even though he was here beside me I didn't know what was to come.

I had heard my last heartbeat. I had cried my last tear and at the moment I was laying down for the last time from exhaustion. My body wouldn't tire anymore. There would never be another need for sleep or to catch my breath. I wouldn't need breath anymore. I could run for a mile and never have to breathe in once or feel the pull of my muscles. I was now as strong as them.

I wanted to open my eyes and see what all had changed but I couldn't make them open. It wasn't the same as when I was burning and couldn't open them because of the pain. Now I couldn't open them because of the fear. What would be different with these eyes? Would the Cullens look the same? Would I? And was I ready to accept all that had changed over the course of these three days? Was I ready to bid my old life goodbye?

Three months ago that answer would have been yes. Resoundingly yes. I would have jumped from this prison of flames and into the awaiting arms of the only man I had ever loved. I would have been ecstatic to spend forever with him; with all of them. But that was before he left. Before he took my love and my heart and tore a hole in my chest. A hole so big that I couldn't move without feeling the ache every minute of every day and now I would have lifetimes to feel the pain of that hole without hope of it ever being filled.

I could feel them all staring at me even without my eyes being open. I knew they were waiting but for what? For me to open my eyes and be welcomed into their family or for me to open my eyes and leave. And if I left where would I go? I knew that I couldn't go back to Charlie or Renee. It would be too dangerous for them. So I would have to strike out on my own.

I wished Jacob could come with me. I knew that we were mortal enemies now but he was still my best friend, my family, my….I couldn't say it. I couldn't even think it. So much had changed and yet there were so many things that remained the same. I couldn't be what Jacob wanted me to and I wasn't what Edward needed. I was stuck between who I wanted and who wanted me and now I couldn't share this life with either of them.

"I love you" a soft voice whispered in my ear. I would know that voice even if I was still living through the fires of hell that I had experienced but I didn't, couldn't, understand. What did he mean? Was he talking in a friendship way or did he now see me as one of his sisters like Alice and Rosalie? Could I live with only being family to him? With watching him find his true love and spending eternity with her? Could I find a way to be with someone else?

"Wake up Bella" Alice called still as impatient as ever. I knew that she had to know that I wasn't still on fire and it was probably annoying her that she couldn't play dress up with me just laying here.

I opened my new eyes for the first time and was accosted by the light that overwhelmed my system. I hadn't been prepared for this. I knew that vampires had excellent sight but how did they stand everything being this bright? I blinked a few times and the light seemed to mellow out enough for me to really look around.

I didn't want to move my head yet but I also didn't have too. I could see everything. The grain of the wood in the ceiling, the water spots on the leaves outside the window. I hadn't even heard it rain but there they were. I could see the fibers of the glue that was holding the window in place. It was beyond incredible to know that these eyes were now mine.

I was about to turn when a flash of movement scared me and I leapt across the room pinning my back against the wall and released a growl from somewhere in my chest. I growl now? Unbelievable. Across from me where the Cullens. They all wore such different expressions. Jasper and Emmett looked as if there was danger while Rosalie looked well bored. Alice looked ready to jump out of her skin from excitement and Carlisle looked both nervous and happy at the same time. Esme's eyes still shown with so much love and compassion and I felt as if I just wanted to run to her and drown in the love that I could feel her sending out.

I was surprised when I felt arms wrap around me. I thrashed about but these arms wouldn't let me go. Snarls of anger escaped my lips and my teeth cracked against my jaw begging to connect with whoever had me held hostage.

"Calm down Bella" Jasper's voice reached me and I immediately felt his wave of emotion take over me. I stopped thrashing and the arms placed me gently on the bed but never let go. I looked up to see Emmett and Edward in front of me and Jasper to the back.

I couldn't help the way my eyes widened at Jasper. He looked so different. Yes he still was as beautiful as all the Cullens but there were so many scares surrounding his face. Little crescents that almost connected in a pattern of some sort but I couldn't make it out.

"Jasper" I breathed out hearing my new voice for the first time. "What happened to you? You look like you were in some kind of fight? Did the wolves do that?" I had never seen Jake and his brothers fight before and had been so worried when they went off looking for Laurent and Victoria. But when they came back and told me they had killed Laurent I had started to think that maybe they were more equipped to deal with vampires than I had originally thought.

He smiled down at me. "No the wolves didn't do this."

"Then what happened?" I still questioned. "You didn't look like that before."

"I always looked like this Bella you just couldn't see before." I still felt the calm in the room and I looked past Edward and Emmett to see if there were other scares I had missed in the past.

"Can I get up" I looked up into Edward's face hopeful. It wasn't fun to be held down by them after being held down for three days by the flames that had consumed my humanity.

"Are you going to attack anyone else?" Emmett asked cautiously.

I looked up at him offended. "Who did I attack? When did I attack anyone? If anything you attacked me?"

"Bella you ran for Esme before we grabbed you." Edward explained.

"I did?" I couldn't hide the shock in my voice. I could have sworn that I was still standing against the wall when they touched me but maybe I hadn't been. I had been thinking that I wanted to fall into her arms. Could I have moved so fast that my mind hadn't caught up with my body?

"I wasn't attacking her" I told them. "I was giving her a hug." I shrugged. "I guess I move faster now and my body simply went where my thoughts were."

I saw them visibly relax some and the hands that were restraining me let go. I stood slowly almost exaggerating my every movement both for their sakes and mine. I didn't like the idea of not knowing what my body was doing until after it had done it.

"I'm sorry Esme" I looked over at her. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"It's okay dear. I'm just glad you're alright." Her smile never changed but her beauty was different. She was so much more radiant now. They all were I realized as I looked through their faces. Even Rosalie who I had thought was the most beautiful woman on earth looked ten times lovelier now. And Edward truly was an angel with these eyes. There was just no way that anyone that amazing could be anything less.

"Bella you must be starving." Carlisle looked at me. I tried to concentrate and felt a burn in my throat. It wasn't as strong as the other fire had been but it was there. Was that what hunger felt like to them?

"I do have a burn in my throat." I looked around. "Is that hunger?"

"Yes, love" Edward was beside me with his arm around my waist. It felt so bitter sweet to be here with him like this. Almost as if nothing had changed. As if the last three months never happened and he never left. "Come we will find you something to eat."

"No human" I shook my head worried for the first time that I might be worse than Jasper at being a vegetarian.

Everyone laughed. "No humans" He repeated.

We all walked down the stairs but stopped at the bottom. Edward let out a snarl and Emmett tensed again but this time I was sure it didn't have anything to do with me.

"I thought you told him to leave." Edward said between his teeth. Carlisle looked over at him and I could tell that he was telling him something but whatever it was it wasn't making Edward feel any better.

"What's going on?" I looked around but everyone was looking at Edward. I could only assume that they were all telling him something but I wasn't for sure.

"Come on Bella" He grabbed my hand and I saw that Alice and Emmett were walking with us but we were headed in the opposite direction now.

"We're going out the back?"

"Yes" Edward said curtly.

"Is there something wrong with the front?" I asked still feeling left out of whatever was going on.

"Yes"

"Are the others going with us?"

"No"

I was beginning to think that I would never get an answer out of him that wasn't more than one word. I stopped in my steps and pulled him to a stop also. Any other time I would have felt proud of the fact that I was now strong enough to stop him but at this moment all I could feel was agitated and slightly upset that they weren't telling me what was happening.

"Who was at the front door?" I asked placing my hands on my now narrower hips. "And don't tell me it was no one."

"Bella this can wait until after you've hunted." Alice spoke this time. "Trust me you don't want to deal with this before you've fed."

"Why?" I narrowed my eyes at her.

"Because you're so new." She told me with a smile. "You saw what happened upstairs. Right now the slightest move or wrong word could make you angry or worse. Let Carlisle and Esme deal with this right now and you just focus on hunting, okay?"

"Was it Charlie?" I asked. That was the only thing that made sense right now. It had been my father on the other side of the door and they were worried that I would attack him. I felt my body start to shake and I touched my cheek expecting to feel dampness from my tears but there was nothing. Nothing but the hardness of my new skin. That was when I remembered; vampires can't cry.

"No, it wasn't Charlie." She smiled at me. "But the sooner we go and hunt the sooner we can come back and deal with not just who was at the door but everything else."

"Everything else?"

"We will explain when we get back okay?" Alice was ushering me back toward the patio door and I didn't feel the need to stop her any more.

I let them lead me away from the house and deep into the woods. We ran so swiftly that I had to look down at my legs. They couldn't be mine. I wasn't tripping or falling. Even with my eyes down I hadn't hit one tree. It was like I could feel them. Like I knew where each one was without looking. I let go of Edward's hand and began to really run free. I wanted to test how far I could go; how fast I could move.

"Bella" I heard them call to me but I didn't want to stop. I wanted to keep going. I had never been able to move like this. To stay up right as I made my way through the forest or any flat surface. This was liberating. The shear freedom that my body felt. I leapt and found that I was close to a mile further than I had been before. My laugh rang out but I didn't stop. I knew I should but I was having way too much fun.

That was when I smelled it. A smell better than anything I had ever experienced in my life. It was wonderfully tantalizing and I stopped letting it wrap around my senses. The burn in my throat intensified and I took off like a bullet. I heard screams behind me but my focus was set on the delicious morsel to come. I weaved through the trees as if my body was a leave. My feet barely touched the forest floor. They were behind me but I instinctually knew that they couldn't catch me. That there was no way that they could stop me from enjoying my first kill.

I skidded to a halt. What had I just thought? My first kill. Was I really ready to take someone's life all for the sake of nourishment? Hadn't I just said earlier that I didn't want any humans and here I was racing toward one with murder on my mind. What if it was Angela or Jessica or Mike? I couldn't be the one to end their lives. To destroy their families with one rash act. I could still smell the blood pumping before me but it held no more interest. There wasn't any lust attached to it. I stood willing the person to pass before my control snapped and again I pursued them.

I heard the running behind me and I turn around awash with shame. I had almost taken a life. No wonder they didn't want me around. It made sense now why they thought that I wasn't one of them. I wasn't. They had control. They would have never gone after someone with the desire that had flowed through me. After everything I still wasn't good enough to be part of the family.

"Bella" Edward reached me first. He had my face in his hand and he was staring into my eyes. "Bella please tell me you're alright."

I couldn't get the words out. I had almost taken a life. How could I be alright after that? I looked over and saw Alice and Emmett coming up to us. I closed my eyes thankful that the whole family hadn't been here to see the disappointment.

"Bella talk to me." Edward was shaking me lightly. "Bella please" The anguish was back in his voice. I opened my eyes and looked at him. I could see the pain across his face and I found the will to speak.

"No" I said quietly.

"No?" In that instant he looked as if I had crumbled him.

"How could I be okay Edward" I asked. "I almost kill that person." I looked away from him. I wasn't worthy enough for his eyes. "I almost took a life."

"Bella we've all done it." His voice was quiet. "But you stopped. Do you have any idea of how amazing that is?" My head shot up. He had to be joking or at the very least trying to make me feel better. "Bella you were mid hunt and you stopped. We would have trouble doing that."

I looked over to see Alice and Emmett nodding along with him. "You didn't do anything wrong so there is no reason for you to feel bad."

"But I do" I told them. "I had just finished tell you that I didn't want to hurt any humans and look what I almost did. My God that could have been someone I knew."

"But you didn't do it Bella" Alice walked over to me smiling. "You didn't hurt that person and that was without Edward or Emmett or me to stop you. You did it all on your own."

"Yeah Bella" Emmett joined. "I wouldn't have had the strength to do it."

"Really?" Emmett always seemed so fun and carefree. I couldn't imagine him thinking anything close to what had gone through my head while I was running at that person.

"Absolutely" He put his arm around me. "Why you're like Carlisle or something."

"I wouldn't say that." I could feel my mood lighting up.

"Why not?" He continued. "You just saved a life."

"Emmett" Edward scolded.

"What? She did."

Edward shook his head at him but turned his attention back to me. "Are you okay now?"

He still had that look of sadness in his eyes and I would say anything to remove it. "Yes" I lied. "I'm better."

"Good" He pulled me into a hug pushing Emmett's arm from around me. "Let's head back and find you something simple to eat. Maybe a good deer or at least something less emotional."

"Like a grizzly" Emmett chimed in with a smile.

"Emmett" Both Edward and Alice yelled and despite the fact that I still felt ashamed of myself for my actions I had to laugh.

"What?" He shrugged. "Their good."

**AN: Welcome back. Okay so I have decided that I am going to keep posting this story and if I only get a few reviews then so be it but I think it is a great read and I want to share it with all that are interested. Not to mention that I have a few faithful readers that have stuck with me through everything and they are in here reading even if it isn't their cup of tea. So I hope that you like this chapter and please review. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. See ya next week.**


	5. Chapter 4: The Same

_Disclaimer: If you don't know by now then you never will. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I'm just having fun._

_**Chapter Four: THE SAME**_

_Bella POV_

We made our way back to the Cullen house after I had hunted. It was different feeling so animalistic. It was like I wasn't in control of my body or my mind. In that moment I didn't feel like me anymore but more like a primal version of me. It was one of the scariest feelings in the world.

Edward had once told me how I couldn't be there when he hunted because the draw of my blood combined with his instincts would be too overwhelming. After experiencing it myself I finally understood what he meant. The call was too strong. After actually feeding I'm not sure how I stopped before.

I hated admitting that even to myself. The idea that next time, if there was a next time, I might not stop terrified me. It made me want to find a hole somewhere and crawl into it and never come out.

"Bella you will do no such thing" Alice stopped and turned to look at me.

"Geez Alice" I looked at her with wide eyes. "That wasn't even a real plan or decision."

"Oh good" She relax some.

"Why can you see so much of what is going through my mind?" I asked her. She had seen me finding a hole and she had seen me traveling the world looking for vampires to convert. It didn't make any sense. She had never been so in tune with me before.

"It's because you're a vampire now." She smiled. "I can always see our kind a lot clearer."

"Oh" I processed that and realized that I would have to watch what I was planning or even thinking around her from now on. Not that we would be together that much. I was sure that once the Cullens knew that I wouldn't hurt anyone they would head back to their lives. They would go back to doing whatever they were doing before they had all come back to find me and Edward would be off looking for a new distraction.

The house was in view now and we were almost there when again Edward stiffened. His eyes narrowed and he looked as he had in the ballet studio with James. I knew that it couldn't be Charlie because he wouldn't have such a ferocious look on his face but who else would come looking for me with the Cullens?

And just like that I knew. I knew exactly who was here and I knew why. I should have known that he wouldn't have taken goodbye as an answer. We were playing out a dance I had done before only this time he was me and I was Edward and no matter what I did I was going to hurt him.

I closed my eyes and breathed deep. The forest smells burned in my nose but so did a different scent. It was woodsy and smelled of sweetened tree sap and burning leaves. It both made me want to cry and cover my nose at the same time. I knew that he would smell different but I didn't think it would bother me. No one else's scents made me feel like gagging now but his did.

"Jake's here isn't he?" I asked opening my eyes to look into everyone's faces.

"Yes" Alice answered. "He's been coming over every day since you were bitten. Carlisle told him that he would have to stay away considering that you are a newborn and he is a werewolf but he won't leave."

I laughed to myself. Of course Jake wouldn't leave. Especially if told to by a vampire. He hated them. Which I guess meant he hated me. I didn't like the thought of Jake hating me. I knew I couldn't feel about him the way that he wanted me to but still I cared for him so much and I wanted us to remain friends. I knew that might be too much to ask but I had to try.

I squared my shoulders and began to walk toward the house. Before I took two steps Edward was in front of me with his hands on my shoulders retraining me from going any further.

"You can't see him Bella."

"Why?" I looked up at him.

"Because it's dangerous." He told me. "He's a werewolf. They hunt us and try to kill us. He could hurt you."

I smiled thinking of all that had happened with Jake over the past month. "No, he couldn't." I walked around him and made my way into the living room where Jake was sitting with a patient Carlisle and Esme and a worried looking Jasper.

"Bella" He breathed when I walked through the door and ran over to hug me. "Thank God. I thought….it doesn't matter now….you're okay."

He was holding me just as closely as he always had although I knew that he must be able to tell that I had changed. That I wasn't his Bella anymore. "Jake, you shouldn't be here."

"Why?" He pulled back to look at me. "You're here so of course I should be here."

"Jake"

"Can we talk somewhere else?" He cut me off looking around at all the faces staring at us.

"Sure" I said taking his hand. "Let's go outside."

"Bella you can't go with him." Edward demanded.

"She can go wherever she wants bloodsucker" Jake stood in front of me as if to protect me. "You don't own her."

"Neither do you." Edward yelled back at him. I saw Emmett take a step toward Edward and I felt Jasper send out a wave of calm.

"Edward its okay" I said. "We are just going out to the patio."

I could tell he still didn't like it but I saw Carlisle's head tilt and imagined that whatever he was telling him convinced him that I would be fine. He nodded once but made no move to let us pass. I saw Jake's hands start to shake as he stood there staring back at Edward and I quickly started rubbing his arm. I knew that it would calm him and like clockwork it did.

"Jake let's go" I pulled at his arm and he followed me out never taking his eyes off Edward.

Once outside he relaxed more than I would have expected seeing that he was still in the presence of a vampire. His arms again made their way around my waist and pulled me closer to him. His lips where nestled against my neck and he was acting like I didn't smell different to him at all.

"Jake don't I smell bad to you?" I asked. "I thought you said all vampires burn your nose."

"It's manageable" He pulled back looking into my eyes. "It's manageable because it's you." He laughed and shrugged away from me still holding my hand and leading me further away from the house. "I was dying in there with the other ones though." He shook his head. "I thought you would never get back."

"You've been here the whole time?"

"Of course Bells" He smiled at me. "I wasn't about to leave you alone with them."

"They weren't going to hurt me Jake." Why did everyone think someone was about to do something to me?

"How was I supposed to know that?" He stopped walking. "God only knows what they could have been doing to you the last three days."

"Nothing" I explained. "It takes three days to become…." I couldn't say it.

Jacob didn't seem to need me to finish. He nodded once and I knew that he understood. "So other than that you're alright?"

"I guess" I had started to feel better about what happened in the forest. I hadn't killed that person so there was no reason for me to feel so bad.

"Was it really hard?" Jake was looking into my eyes. "I heard your scream as Sam and everyone was dragging me away and I tried to get back to you. I hated that you were going through so much and I couldn't be there for you. I came here as soon as I could but the short leech wouldn't let me see you."

"Alice"

"What?" He looked at me with confusion.

"Her name is Alice." I told him.

"I don't care" He shook his head. "I wasn't looking to make friends."

"Well she's my friend and I don't like when you say things like that."

"I always say things like that." He smiled casually. "What's the difference now?"

"I'm one of them Jake" I couldn't believe that he was acting like nothing had changed. Like we were still in his shed working on the bikes. "You could just as easily be talking about me."

"I would never say that about you." His hand caressed my cheek but I pulled away.

"Jake, I'm not the same." I was walking away from him. "Things aren't the same."

"Why not?" He was looking at me the same as he always had.

"Because I'm a vampire Jacob" I yelled trying to get through to him.

"I know" He shook his head. "I don't like it but it doesn't change my feelings for you. It doesn't make me not want to be with you."

"How can you say that?" I had wanted us to still be friends even though I knew it was an impossibility but he was making it sound as if we could be so much more. As if we had ever been more.

"Bella" He reached for my hand again but I moved it aside. "I know that things are more complicated and that no one is going to like it but it's not like I can change. It's not like just because three days ago you died I don't love you."

"Jake" this was more heartbreaking than I had thought it would be.

"Bells I know that there are going to be problems but we belong together." He walked toward me and this time I didn't move. "That hasn't changed."

"Jake, it has to." I closed my eyes and found myself leaning against him.

"Why?" His voice was so close to my ear. "Why does it have to change?"

"Because I can't stay here."

"Yes you can" I could hear the laughter in his voice. "Sam and the others can't hurt you so you're fine."

"Jake I almost killed someone today." I pulled away from him all of my emotion coming back from that moment in the forest. "I can't be around people."

"So we'll leave." He shrugged. "You and me. We'll take off and go somewhere where there aren't that many people. As long as we're together it will be okay."

"You can't do that." I was shaking my head at him. "You have responsibilities here. What about Billy or the pack? They need you."

"They aren't what's important." He moved to stand in front of me taking my face in his hands. The heat scorched me almost as bad as my change. "You are the only thing that matters. Besides Sam and my dad will understand."

"That you ran off with a vampire?" I looked him right in the eye. "I don't think so."

"They will understand because it's you." He moved his head and I knew that he was going to kiss me. I backed away.

"We can't do that." I turned from him.

"Why, because he's back?"

"No" I turned back around anger blazing in my veins. "Because we don't do that; because we've never done that."

"I know." He walked toward me. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pushed. Whenever you're ready it will be okay."

I knew he meant well but I couldn't see ever being ready to take that kind of step with Jake. "I have to leave."

"With them?" He asked anger lacing his voice.

I didn't know if I was leaving with them or not but I knew that I had to let Jake go. "They can protect me Jake. They can stop me from hurting anyone."

"We can protect you." He lapsed into the plural that he used when talking about the pack. "We can protect you better than they ever could. And you know that I will never leave you; I couldn't."

"Jake, I can't"

"Then just stay here." He pulled me back into his arms. "I'll have my father talk to the other elders. They will make an exception and let them stay as long as you're here."

"And what about my friends? What about Charlie?" I asked surprised that I just thought of my father. "Does he even know what happened to me?"

"I had my dad tell him that you took off for a little while." He explained. "We told him that you stopped by and let us know that you need some time alone to sort out your feelings. He wasn't happy about it but I figured at least that way you could see him when you were able to."

He was always thinking of me. "Thanks Jake."

"No problem." He smiled. "So what do you say? If I work things out will you stay?"

"Jake"

"Bella you can't leave me." He looked so serious. "The last three days without seeing you was killing me. I can't go months without you."

I knew I should tell him to move on but I couldn't. I didn't know if the Cullens were going to want me with them or not and I had already lost Charlie at least for now. I just couldn't lose Jake too.

"For now" I leaned into him. "I'll stay for now."

He breathed out a breath that I hadn't realized he was holding. "Good." I felt him pull me closer and his arms tighten around me.

"Must you be so hot" I pulled away from him. "I never noticed before Jake but you are sweltering. It's like hugging an oven."

"Well you feel like an ice cube but you don't hear me complaining." He laughed at me. "You know I'm not sure this change has improved your attitude. Must be having those bloodsuck…" He stopped himself when he saw my look. "Having the Cullens back." He rolled his eyes. "Happy?"

"Yes" I smiled at him. "You know they aren't as bad as you want to make them out to be."

"Sure, sure." I knew that he wouldn't believe me but if he was going to try to be in my life now then he was going to have to deal with them in a reasonable manner.

"I mean it Jake." I held my ground. "If you want me to stay and they decide to stay then you have to be nice. No more derogatory names or blow ups like what happened back at the house."

"He started it." Jake raised his voice. "Are you going to tell him that he has to play nice too? Because I plan on being around a lot and if I have to be nice so does he."

"I'll talk to him." I smiled at him.

"Good or next time I'll bring Embry with me." Jake mentioned his closest pack brother.

"No Jake" I was shaking my head. "That would start a fight and one of you would get hurt."

"Yeah" he mumbled. "Him."

"Jake stop."

"Sorry" I nodded although I could tell from his voice that there wasn't an ounce of remorse in him. "Although maybe I would be bringing Embry along just so he could see you." He pulled me back into his arms as his lips grazed my neck. "You know, get a look at how beautiful my girl turned out."

I found myself laughing in a way that only Jake could inspire. "You are so silly" I batted at him.

"Ouch" He pulled back but didn't release me. "You're stronger now too. I'll have to remember that."

"Yeah I might even be able to take you." I joked with him.

"You always could." He laughed with me and that look was back in his eye. The look that always made me just a little uncomfortable and at the same time feel so loved.

"I should go back Jake." I started to move but his arms stopped me.

"Not yet" He was shaking his head. "I haven't seen you in forever. Stay just a little longer."

"I shouldn't"

"But you will" He smiled at me.

I knew it was wrong to lead him on this way but when he looked at me like that there was no way that I could ever turn him down.

"Just a little while longer." I caved.

"That's my girl"

"I'm not your girl, Jake."

"Of course you are" He pulled my hand in his. "You always have been."

I didn't argue with him. Not this time. We had had this argument to many times over the last month and I didn't want to fight. Not with Jake; not with anyone. I knew that I could never be what he wanted but I selfishly couldn't turn him away. I felt so lost right now. I didn't know if the Cullens would leave or if they would stay. And even if they did stay or go would they want me with them. Last I knew they had left and Edward was off to find new distractions. For all I knew I had just complicated their existence.

And really wasn't that what I had always been? A complication. A small, fragile human that they had to risk everything to keep protecting. Someone that couldn't even keep herself out of trouble for a few months at a time. No wonder they didn't want me. How could they ever want someone that caused so many problems?

But Jake wanted me. Even with the huge distance between us now he still wanted me. He talked to me and held me as if nothing had changed. He acted the same as he always had. There was no pushing me away or telling me he didn't love me. When I had been changing I had hoped that Jake and I could go away together just so I wouldn't have to be alone and without my saying anything he had known. He had offered to give up everything for me; for us. It was wrong but how was I supposed to fight devotion like that?

I looked up into his eyes and he smiled down kissing me on my forehead and putting his arm around my shoulder. I leaned into him as if we were still as we had been; as if there were no differences; no complications. But I knew there were.

I wasn't his girl and thanks to a destroyed heart and three days of fire I never could be.

**AN: I really like Jake in this chapter. I know most people would rather it be straight Bella and Edward but sometimes you have to go through the rain to get the sun and sometimes thinks don't go the way you hope. So I'm not saying that Bella ends up with Edward or Jake but just that if you stick with the story you are bound to figure it out. As always please review and I will see ya next week.**


	6. Chapter 5: Family Meeting

_Disclaimer: If you don't know by now then you never will. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I'm just having fun._

_**Chapter Five: FAMILY MEETING**_

_Edward POV_

I couldn't believe that she had left with that mutt. She had walked out with her hand in his as if it was no big deal. And the way she had rubbed his arm to calm him; I wanted to rip into his throat and the worst part was that it had worked. You would think she was his girlfriend or something.

Oh God. My mind stopped on that last line. Was she? Could she have turned to him after I left? Was that why he wouldn't leave and why he was thinking of her as if she belonged to him? Is it possible that she had moved on and now I was going to have to spend eternity watching her with a werewolf of all things?

Didn't she know any better? I had left so that she would be safe and find a nice boring human boy that wouldn't cause her any kind of pain or danger. Werewolves were the worst sort of creature. They were dirty and volatile. They couldn't be trusted and they smelled revolting. They had left an hour ago and his stench was still all over the house. How could she have given her heart to something so awful?

But maybe she hadn't. Maybe I was just jumping to conclusions. It was possible that the child only thought that there was something between the two of them and she was reinforcing how they could never be together especially now. They were mortal enemies. They were supposed to be fighting not making out. No, I closed my eyes trying to erase that image, she wouldn't do that. I had to believe she wouldn't do that.

This was worse than all those nights alone in Tennessee, Texas, and Brazil when I had tortured myself with the idea of Bella with Mike Newton. This was having to see it played out in front of my eyes and not being able to do anything about it. I couldn't order her not to see him. I had tried that and she had walked right around me and into his arms.

She had walked into his arms. She had stood there and let that mange, filthy beast hold her. She hadn't pulled away from the smell or the heat of his skin. She hadn't told him that it was inappropriate for him to be that close to her. She hadn't even introduced him around the room so that I could at least see if he had a title in her mind. No she had took his hand and lead him away from the house. And then made sure that they had walked far enough away from here that I couldn't hear his thoughts.

For the millionth time I wished that I could read Bella's mind. I wished that I could see what was going on in her head if not her heart. I needed to know if I had lost her for good or if there was a chance. She had let me touch her the same as before while we were hunting and I had hoped that had meant something. I had hoped that it meant that we could find our way back to where we were. Start again from before I left, but now I wasn't sure and more than anything I just wanted Bella to come back.

"Anything Alice?" I questioned. I had been asking her if she saw Bella with that dog since she left but nothing so far.

_No Edward_, she huffed at me in her thoughts. _When I see something I am sure you will be the first to know._

I knew that she was right. Besides searching for the dogs thoughts and trying to block out Rosalie's I had been focused on Alice. I wanted to see the instant that Bella was safe. The instant she was on her way back to me.

I didn't understand why Alice couldn't see Bella with him but it seemed that as soon as he showed up she wasn't able to see anything around him. She had mentioned it to Carlisle a little bit ago but I was too worried about Bella to pay any attention to if they came up with a reason.

_Relax Edward_, Carlisle's calm voice penetrated my brain. _She wouldn't have left with him if she didn't trust him and besides he didn't seem as if he would hurt her while he was here._

I nodded in acknowledgement of my father's words but I didn't share them. Werewolves were untrustworthy no matter what they might seem like. I would just have to explain that to Bella when she returned. How this wasn't a good friendship to have and I had to keep convincing myself that it was just a friendship.

I ran my fingers through my hair and leaned against the doorframe. I hadn't moved from this spot since Bella left. I needed to be the first to see her. I needed to know that she was alright. I needed to know that she had come back to me. I knew that I didn't deserve it after everything that I had done, but I needed it.

_Edward, honey, why don't you come sit with us_; Esme asked.

I shook my head no. My family, minus Rosalie who was upstairs sulking in her former room, were all sitting in the living room waiting for Bella to return. Like me they all wanted her to return but unlike me they all didn't feel as nervous about the fact that Alice couldn't see her. They didn't like it and Emmett thought that we should have run off after her but Carlisle had talked us down. He didn't want to start a war unless it was necessary and really didn't believe that she was in any danger. I didn't agree and so that meant that I wasn't moving until Bella was here, safe, and back in my arms. I didn't care if I had to stand there all night or all day.

"Why isn't she back yet?" I voiced my concern. "It can't take this long to say goodbye to someone. She's been gone for hours."

"It hasn't been hours, Edward." Carlisle tried to reassure me. "And she will be back as soon as she can."

"What if she isn't?" I spoke not taking my eyes off the path that Bella had left on. "What if she decides that I've hurt her to much to return? What if she goes off on her own and we never see her again?" I couldn't think of the rest of forever without her next to me. "Or worse, what if she can't come back?" I hated to think it but it had to be said. "What if this was a trap and the wolves won't let her come back or they hurt her someway or….or…." I couldn't bring myself to say that she decided to stay with them.

"She's with that stinky flea bag that won't go away?" Rosalie asked from the stairs.

"Rosie" I heard Emmett's soft voice.

"What?" She kept going. "You're all thinking it." I didn't want to admit that she was right but I knew that she was. "We've been gone for months now. Maybe she moved on. Maybe she found someone else. Some one more dangerous than Edward. It's not like she has any sense of self preservation. I mean really, who goes hiking in the woods alone with her track record? Even if it hadn't been Victoria that found her it could have been any number of things and not just supernatural things. She could have fallen and broken her neck or anything." She moved to sit next to Emmett. "I have never heard of someone more prone to accidents."

"Rose maybe now isn't the time to point those things out." Emmett explained to her.

"But it's true." She didn't back down.

"We know but she's family now which means you are going to have to get along with her." He told her. I could see through Emmett that she didn't look pleased about this. "Come on baby. Do it for me, okay?"

Rose huffed but she didn't say anything more. I knew that she wasn't happy about Bella's recent change but if there was any true thing about Rosalie it was that she loved her family and there was nothing that she wouldn't do for Emmett.

_Edward_, Alice's thoughts came flooding to me and I could see her. Bella was heading back and she was close. I scanned her through Alice's vision and was relieved to see that she looked fine. Of course I still wouldn't feel better until she was back here with me.

I straighten from my slouch against the door and ran out to the patio as soon as she was in view. She looked up when she noticed me and gave a sort of half smile that I quickly returned. I looked her over desperate to know for myself that he hadn't harmed her. I hated that I could smell that dog all around her even though she was easily a half dozen yards away. She must have let him touch her some more and that thought almost drove me to Italy that instant.

She kept her eyes downcast and I wanted to know if it was because she couldn't face me or because she didn't want to. But then she stopped right before me and looked up with an awed expression on her face.

"I still can't get over it." She looked so radiate and I had never wanted to hold her more; dog smell and all.

"What's that?" I asked with a nervous twitch to my voice.

"My feet" She shrugged while laughing. "I didn't trip once all the way back here. Not once. Do you know how amazing that feels?"

I had to laugh too. "Speaking as the person that use to always catch you right before you hit the ground, I would have to say yes I do."

"Oh right" She continued smiling and walked into the house with her eyes still glued to her feet.

I was relieved to know that it was only the wonder of her new senses that had her looking down as she walked home but I couldn't mistake the fact that she didn't touch me as she went to the house or say anything to me about what happened with that boy.

I breathed deep, sickened by the fact that I still smelled mutt, and walked behind her into the house. She paused and looked up apparently having sensed my family waiting. She smiled again and told them about her walking non-adventure too. After everyone had stopped laughing Alice jumped up and walked over to Bella pulling her out of the room.

"Where are we going Alice?" Bella asked.

"You need a shower and to change." Alice said not breaking her stride. "Honestly Bella that outfit was only supposed to be used for your first hunt and now look. You've gone visiting in it and gotten it all dirty."

"Wasn't it dirty from the hunt Alice?"

She rolled her eyes. "It's not the same Bella."

"Why?"

"It just isn't."

"Why?"

"She's trying to tell you that you stink of wet dog and none of us want to sit here and talk to you while you do." Rosalie called after them. "She's just too polite to say it."

"Rosalie Hale" Esme scolded. "You will not speak to her like that, young lady, not in my presence." Rosalie dropped her head. We all hated when Esme raised her voice to us but Rosalie always took it the hardest. "Now apologize."

"Sorry" Rosalie mumbled.

"You know if you were really sorry Rose you would come help me." Alice smirked. "I'm sure Esme and Emmett would appreciate that."

"I think that is a wonderful idea." Esme smiled at Alice completely aware of what she was doing.

Rosalie said nothing but her mind was a minefield of anger as she rose from the couch and followed Bella and Alice upstairs. I heard Emmett laughing and thanking Esme but my eyes stayed on the steps. I didn't want to be separated from Bella ever again. The months away from her were torture and now with her back and changed I wanted to spend every moment with her.

_Sit down Edward_, Esme ordered. _You're going to make her nervous if you keep standing around waiting for her every time she leaves a room._

I wanted to argue back but there was every possibility that Esme was right and I didn't want Bella to feel nervous or anything of the sort around me ever. I walked over and sat on the only loveseat left in the room. It would have been better to hold the discussion that we were about to have in the dining room since there were more chairs but I liked the idea of staying here so much better. For one it didn't seem so formal and for two Bella would have to sit next to me when she returned.

It didn't take long for the girls to return with Bella who was a vision in blue. I nodded to Alice and she let me know that she had chosen this shirt just for me. I watched as Bella watched Alice sit next to Jasper and Rose sit next to Emmett. Her eyes swung around the room until she realized that the only comfortable available seat was next to me. I saw her hesitate and I rose to motion that it was okay to sit beside me. Again that hesitate smile that I was coming to despise but she walked over and lightly set down on the loveseat. I was relieved to only smell Bella and although her scent was different then before and didn't burn my throat it was nice to have it running through my senses again.

"Well first off Bella we just want to tell you that although the circumstances weren't the best, Victoria biting you and all, we are still extremely happy to see you again." Carlisle started off. I saw Bella smile and look around stopping on Rosalie's face and mine as he finished up. I didn't like fact that she seemed as unconvinced of my joy as she did of Rosalie's.

"Thank you Carlisle." She spoke quietly.

"And we want you to know that we have always considered you family and that hasn't changed one bit." He was smiling at her and her head shot up looking into his eyes.

"But I thought…" She trailed off.

"You thought what Bella?" Carlisle questioned.

I looked at her face I knew that if she was still human she would be scarlet right now. Man I would miss her blushes but I kept my mind on what she was saying.

"I thought you didn't want me anymore." She said. "I mean you did leave."

Bella didn't look at me but six other pair of eyes did. "Of course we want you." Esme was speaking.

"You're my best friend Bella" Alice was reassuring. "I've been miserable without you."

"Nothing has been as fun without you around Bella." Emmett smiled at her. "You might not trip anymore but I bet you will still do some crazy things."

She was smiling now but her eyes were still looking down. "Bella, our leaving was a misfortunate error and we should have never gone." Carlisle told her. "But things are different now and if you will accept us again we would love for you to come with us."

"Come with you?" Bella raised an eyebrow.

"Yes" Carlisle was telling her. "We aren't supposed to be here so it would be a good idea if we left right away and we want you to come with us as well as help us decide where to go."

"So you aren't staying?"

"We hadn't planned on it." Carlisle smiled. "While you were changing Esme, Rosalie, and myself went back to New York and gathered our things so we would be ready to move."

"But if your things are here then couldn't you just stay here for a short while?" Bella sounded hesitate.

"I guess we could but there is the problem of what to tell everyone about your disappearance." Carlisle was looking at her as quizzically as we all were. "You have to know that no one can see you right now. It would be too dangerous for them and for us."

"I know"

"And there is your father." Carlisle continued. "He has to be wondering about what happened to you."

"No he isn't." She voiced.

"What do you mean?" Emmett asked.

"Jacob had his father tell Charlie that I stopped by there and said that I needed some time to sort out my feeling." She shared. "He thinks I'm somewhere else so as long as I don't go into town then he doesn't have to know."

"Why would he do that?"Alice wondered. "And why can't I see him?"

"I don't know." Bella shrugged one shoulder. "He's not blocking you on purpose I don't think. As far as I know the pack only thinks that vampires have extra abilities but they don't believe it and I didn't tell them."

"You seem to know a lot about these werewolves." Jasper spoke up for the first time.

"Jake is a really good friend and he said that we could stay." She had started to look down again.

"The wolves are okay with our staying here?" Carlisle asked with a note of surprise in his voice.

"Yes"

"Why?"

"Because" Bella didn't elaborate anymore than that.

"Because why?" Alice pushed.

Bella closed her eyes and breathed in as if preparing for something dreadful. My dead heart broke as I realized that she was about to tell us that they were together. I closed my own eyes against the pain of knowing that I had lost her forever. This was my fault. If I hadn't left none of this would be happening. If I hadn't told her to move on and find someone else or promised that I would never return she wouldn't be leaving me for that hound.

"Because he's my best friend" Her voice rang out.

"Just your friend?" I heard Emmett ask.

"Well…" She stuttered but didn't finish.

"Well?" Alice prompted.

"He's a little more than just a friend." She hedged.

"Are you dating him?" Esme spoke this time.

"No" Bella quickly answered. "But…." And just like that my world crumbled. She wasn't dating him but she had feeling for him.

"But what?" This time Carlisle was the one to ask. "Bella, what exactly is your relationship with the werewolf?"

"I'm….he….it's a weird werewolf legend and ….it doesn't happen all the time…" She wasn't answering and even without my eyes open I could tell that everyone was on the edge of their seats. She took another deep breath and spoke. "He imprinted on me."

He imprinted on her? My eyes opened wide and I saw my confused expression reflected on every one of my families faces. What the hell did that mean?

**AN: Hello everyone, I was going to answer all your reviews from last week today but then I woke up feeling awful. I still don't feel all that great but I couldn't not post today so I made my way to the computer so that I could get these two chapters up. I am hoping I feel better later today or at the latest tomorrow so I will get to everyone then but by all means don't let that stop you from reviewing. They make me feel better. So I will hopefully talk to everyone later and don't forget to review :).**


	7. Chapter 6: Answers, Questions

_Disclaimer: If you don't know by now then you never will. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I'm just having fun._

_**Chapter Six: ANSWERS, QUESTIONS**_

_Bella POV_

"_He imprinted on me." _

I didn't want to tell them but if we were going to stay then they needed to know why Jake wouldn't go away and why I had agreed to stay in the first place. I knew they wouldn't understand. Hell I still didn't understand pass Jake thought he was in love with me and he never left me alone. It had been nice to have someone there while the Cullens had been gone but now that they were back and I was a vampire I didn't see how this could work out. The only thing I did know was that I didn't want to lose Jake and I also didn't want to hurt him.

"Uh Bella" Alice was still staring at me. "What does that mean?"

"It's a werewolf thing." I tried to explain as best I could. "The best that I can tell you is that it is kinda like love at first sight. It's how they find their soul mates I think."

"You think?" Edward spoke for the first time since we started talking. I couldn't miss the strangled note in his voice but I didn't understand it. I would think that he would be glad that I wouldn't be sitting around for eternity depressed about him. This way he could run off at the first change he got and find another distraction.

"He tried to explain it better to me but I was a little weirded out when he told me." I said. "And it wasn't like I was in any shape to start a new relationship." I didn't want to think about them leaving or that day in the forest.

"So wait I'm confused" Emmett looked over at me. "Is this some sort of sex thing?"

"No" I practically screamed.

"Okay just making sure." He relaxed back into the couch he was sitting on. "It's just that it sounds sorta freaky."

"Look Jake or one of the wolves could explain it better than me." I looked around. "All I know is that he needs me right now."

"He needs you?" Carlisle seemed the most fascinated with this.

"He can't not see me" I shook my head.

"What do you mean?" Again Carlisle this time with a funny look in his eye like he couldn't wait to go do research on this or something.

"It bothers him when I'm not around." I hated talking about this with them. "I've seen him every day for the last month."

"Is that why he came here daily during your change?" Alice asked.

"Yes" I nodded. "He said it was killing him to not see me. It is like it physically hurts him if I'm not there." I could relate to that statement but for a different reason and that reason was currently sitting extremely stiff next to me.

"And this is all because he is a werewolf?" Carlisle clarified.

"Yes"

"That is very interesting." He was nodding. "So what would happen if say we left right now without him knowing? Or if you had gone away to sort out your feelings as he told Charlie, how would he have handled that?"

"I don't know" I hadn't thought about that.

"Do all of the werewolves meet their mates like this?" I felt like I was being interviewed by Carlisle who I knew meant no harm but it was beginning to bother me.

"I'm not sure." I gave him a tight smile. "I know that Sam and his fiancée Emily meet in this manner."

I heard a low growl and looked over to see Edward's eyes closed and his brows drawn. I didn't know what he was angry about. It wasn't like he knew Sam or Emily or would care if Jake and I did get married. He was that one that told me to move on. He was the one that decided he didn't want me. He was the one that needed new distractions.

Maybe he had been mad during the whole conversation and was just now letting it out. Maybe he was mad because his family had so easily asked me back into their fold. But he had to know that wasn't my fault and it wasn't like I had so many other places to go.

I couldn't go back to Charlie or Renee. And even though Jake tried to make it sound like everything was fine with the pack I knew that it had to be causing problems. They hated vampires, especially Paul, and I was sure that none of them were happy that Jake's imprint was now batting for the other team. There was no way that I could go hangout at La Push anymore or spend an afternoon in Jake's shed. As far as I knew the Cullens were the only vegetarian vampires other than those in Alaska and I didn't want to go way up there. For pete's sake, it was cold.

Maybe I should have taken Jake up on his offer for the two of us to leave together. Edward obviously didn't want me anymore and the Cullens didn't seem thrilled at the idea of staying here. Again I was being a complication.

"Well, I guess for the time being we are staying here." Carlisle said which surprised me. He stood up and looked around at the rest of his family. "I suggest everyone go unpack and get settled in and Bella if Jake or one of the other pack members would be willing to explain this imprinting I would be very interesting in learning more."

"I'll ask" I gave him another tight smile. One of the wolves agreeing to sitting down willingly and talk with a vampire about their legends and customs; I didn't see it happening. But Jake had stayed here while I went on my first hunt. Maybe he would be more receptive to the idea than I was giving him credit for. Especially if I told him that it would keep the Cullens and therefore me here longer. Who knows?

I watched as everyone nodded and headed off in different direction moving at vampire speed. I sat there staring in wonderment. I had seen them move like this before but they had always been just a blur but now I could see them. I could see ever step Alice took and Jasper turning to look at Emmett with a smile on his face. I could see hands being raised and bodies in mid motion. It was surreal.

Edward stayed on the loveseat with me. I was nervous to be in here alone with him. I didn't know how he felt about me being here but I had some idea and I couldn't take another heart break right now. I would have gone off to settle in as Carlisle had directed but I didn't have any belongings. I didn't have a room here. Any time I had stayed here I had been in Edward's room.

I turned to him and found him looked right at me. I gave him a half smile but he didn't return it. Instead he just sat there with this tortured look on his face. It was the same look from when Victoria bit me and I finally understood how much he didn't want me here.

"Look Edward, I didn't mean to complicate your world or force you to be around me." I told him. "If you want to leave then you can or if you want me to leave then just tell me and I'll go." I looked away from his eyes then not able to bare his beauty. There was no way that I wanted him to leave but I didn't want him to be miserable either. "I'm sorry that you had to come back and I'm sorry that she changed me and now you have to hear about me for eternity. I'm sorry…"

I wanted to tell him that I was sorry that I still loved him and that I couldn't get over him and move on like he had asked. I wanted to tell him that I was sorry that I still wanted him back and that no matter what I always would. I wanted to say I was sorry because I would be willing to wait an eternity if he would just tell me there was a chance. But I said none of those things. Instead I got up and walked out to the front porch to see if I could help the rest of the Cullens move anything in.

"Oh good Bella you're here" Alice bounced over to me. "In all the confusion of your little announcement I forgot to show you your room."

"I have a room?" I knew that I had never had a room before.

"Of course you have a room silly." Alice laughed dragging me up the stairs to the third floor. I suppressed the pain that ran through me as I tried not to look down the hall and see Edward's open door.

"Now I didn't decorate it or anything and it's normally the guest room but now that you're officially family it belongs to you." She opened the door and ushered me. The room was all soft blue tones mixed with a touch of rose to accent. There was a desk off in the corner and a small bookcase next to it. In the other corner there was a rocking chair and in the middle of the room there was a huge four poster bed.

"Alice, why do you guys have a bed in the guest room?" I found myself laughing lightly at her. "You're vampires so you don't sleep."

"But our guest could." She reasoned. "Now we need to go get your clothes and things from down in the van and the few things that I had moved into my room while you were changing so that I would be ready for when you woke up."

"My clothes and things?" I was pretty sure that Alice hadn't gone to Charlie's and taken my actual clothes which only meant one thing. "Alice you didn't?"

"Of course I did." She smiled up at me. "You were out for three days. Did you really expect me to just sit there and watch the whole time?"

"No but really…."

"And I told you during the change that you were going to need new clothes because none of your other things would fit."

"I heard you but…."

"And it's not like I made you go with me." She was like the Energizer bunny. She kept going and going and going. "And I didn't buy everything because I want you to pick out some of your own things."

"That's nice but…."

"So really you should be thanking me." She was still going. "I got you new clothes, you didn't have to go with me, and I saved something for you to buy."

"Alice" I yelled.

"What?"

"Thank you" I said slowly shaking my head. "I thought vampires weren't supposed to get tired."

"We don't" She looked at me quizzically.

"Then why do I feel like I need a nap after talking to you?"

She giggled and reached up hugging me. "I'm so glad Edward fell in love with you and Victoria bit you." She pulled back. "Although I would have been happier if we had destroyed her along with James and Edward bit you but the end result was the same and now we are real sisters."

I laughed down at her. "I'm glad we are sisters too."

"Great" She bounced away. "Now that all that is settled let's get the rest of your things and get you moved in, sis."

She gave me a wink and sprinted out of my new room leaving me with nothing to do but follow her. I past Jasper who was smiling and shaking his head at the same time. He silently laughed when he saw me but kept going to their room. Outside Alice was handing me all sorts of bags. Some were regular shopping bags and others were designer luggage. Those had to have been new or at the very least belong to the Cullens. I had never had designer anything in my whole life.

It took three hours but we got everything moved in. I hung out in my new room for the rest of the night just thinking. It wasn't that I didn't feel like being with the other Cullens as much as I felt like I had so much to come to terms with.

My life had changed dramatically in the last five months. The last time I had been in this house Edward and I had been together. That had been the night of my ill-fated birthday party. I had lost all of them days later only to spend months in depression and another few months trying to stare down danger just to hear one velvet voice. If that wasn't enough I found out that my best friend was a werewolf and that thanks to some insane custom he was now in love with me and planning our future. And just in case I hadn't had enough then one of my worst nightmares comes back and bites me and I change into a vampire just to be thrust back into the family that had abandoned me.

I didn't like thinking about the time while they were gone. It still hurt too much. Even with the change I could feel the hole that was my chest. I still felt my heart hanging by a thread and that at any moment someone could walk past and rip it the rest of the way out. Jake had said that I was stronger now but sitting in this room listening to the sounds of the Cullens I didn't feel stronger. I felt just as weak and fragile as I had human. I knew that with one word they could destroy me in a way that Victoria didn't get to do.

I laid on the bed closing my eyes willing myself to go to sleep. I wanted to feel human for just a few hours. I wanted to lay here and pretend that the last five months didn't happen. I wanted to open my eyes and find Edward beside me whispering how much he loved me just to wake me up. I knew that it wouldn't happen but it didn't stop me from wishing.

And yet he had said he loved me. When I was done with the change, he had said he loved me. I remembered hearing it but did it mean anything when he so clearly was upset that I was here? I couldn't erase that look on his face from my mind. He had looked at me the same as that first day in Biology. It was like I repulsed him all over again and I hated it.

I sat up and wondered out onto the patio. I walked around silently glad that the others were tucked away in their rooms. I needed this time alone. I needed time to figure out my next move because it was becoming apparent to me that I couldn't stay with the Cullens forever. I would eventually drive Edward away as I had before.

I stopped walking when I saw a movement at the tree line in front of me. I knew that the wolves had killed Laurent and I had seen the fire when Victoria was destroyed. I could hear all the other Cullens in the house so who could be out there? Was it possible that there was another threat?

"Hello?" I called softly scanning the area willing whoever was out there to be friendly and not have known me human. "Is someone there?"

I knew that my heart would be pounding out of my chest if I was still human but I couldn't make out who was out there until they moved a little closer and I caught the smell. "Jake?"

"Bells?" he came into view pulling his shirt over his head.

"What are you doing here?" I asked. "Again?"

"I was making sure you were okay." He walked a little closer to me.

"Jake you really shouldn't be here."

"But you looked so sad when I left earlier and even now." He came up and put his arm around me. "What happen?"

"Nothing" I lied.

"Bella you know you can tell me." He squeezed my shoulder. "You can tell me anything."

"It's just…" I didn't want to share with him my conversation with the Cullens but I needed my best friend. "It's just I'm not sure the Cullens want me around."

"The Cullens or Edward?" Jake knew me so well.

"Both but mostly him."

"Then that is their loss." He stood up for me.

"Really?"

"Yes" He backed away taking my hands in his. "Bella you are an amazing, wonderful person and anyone that doesn't see that doesn't deserve you. When are you going to see yourself clearly?"

I laughed because Edward had always said that I didn't see the real me and now here Jake was saying the same thing.

"It's not that simple."

"Yes it is." He continued. "You know that I would be the first to help them leave but if having them here makes this easier for you then I want you to have that. But just because they came back at the last possible second doesn't make it okay for them to make you sad. You need to learn to stand up for yourself."

"Jake if I say the wrong thing then they might leave again."

"So let them." He shrugged. "We'll help you." I knew he meant the pack but I also knew how upset they would be about that.

"You really see Paul taking me out hunting?" I asked and was rewarded with Jakes grimace.

"Okay maybe not Paul" He smirked. "But Embry would or Jared might and hey you always have me."

I smiled up at him. "You would go hunting with me and watch as I ate a bear?"

He threw his head back and laughed. "Are you kidding? I would love to see you take on a bear. You can't even stand up to that idiot that left you but a grizzly no problem." He was shaking his head. "That would be funny."

I thought about what he said. I was strong enough to take down a bear. I had fought one during my first hunt and had managed to come up swinging while he laid dead at my feet. If I could handle that why couldn't I say what I thought and to hell with what the Cullens thought? I didn't want them to leave again but I also didn't want to spend eternity scared to speak.

I looked back at Jake and smiled. "You know what? I think your right."

"I am?" He looked confused.

"If I can take on a grizzly then I can take on anything." I was nodding at my new found confidence.

Jake smiled back and laughed. "Should I be scared?"

"Not unless you piss me off" I quirked.

"In that case I should be safe." He winked.

I laughed knowing that Jake could piss me off better than almost anyone else; well almost anyone else. There was a certain honey-eyes vampire right now that was easily making his way up the list.

**AN: Okay everyone. I am off to lay down and with that hopefully the pounding in my head will stop. See everyone next week or sooner if I feel better.**

**Ps. Don't forget to review. I could use the lift :).**


	8. Chapter 7: My Wants

_Disclaimer: If you don't know by now then you never will. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I'm just having fun._

_**Chapter Seven: MY WANTS**_

_Edward POV_

I had lost her. I had walked away and told her to move on and she had. That stupid dog was now with my angel and I was going to have to spend eternity without her. This was hell right here on earth.

I sat back on the couch in my old room looking around. I couldn't help but think of the first time I had brought Bella here. We had played music and danced. I had owned her heart then as she had owned mine. I had been so happy. That had been the happiest I had been in a century having her here with me but I had to go and ruin it.

Even now with her here changed and living down the hall I was still incredibly happy. I would have never changed her myself but to know that she would be with me for all time gave me a pleasure that was both painful and glorious. Painful because I knew it was wrong that her human life had ended so quickly and that she was now damned to this existence and glorious because now I would never have to live without her. It was beyond selfish but I couldn't help being happy about that. She was here. She was in my home again and she was with me. Not in the way that I wanted but she was here and she was amazing.

It had only been a week since she woke up but she seemed to have blossomed. She was just as beautiful as ever but now it was like she glowed. I knew that we all sparkled in the sun but with Bella it was like that sparkle was inside her somehow. Like she was just so happy to be here that she couldn't hold it in. Jasper had been glued to her side claiming that the emotions she was giving off were the best he had felt in a long time not counting his time with Alice. And Alice was in a new realm. She was beside herself with joy at having Bella as a sister. She had so many plans for Bella that I was beginning to suspect that she was overwhelming her but she didn't say anything. She just smiled at Alice and let her continue to go on and on about shopping trips and European tours.

Emmett followed Bella around like a puppy or something. He was waiting for her to trip or do something just as funny and even though she stayed on her feet now he still found something to tease her about. Rosalie wasn't exactly happy with all the attention that Bella was receiving but she was putting forth some effort to be nice to her. And Esme had really taken Bella under her wing. She had taught her how to work in the garden and they talked almost every day about family and transitions. She also talked to Carlisle repeatedly. They would spend hours up in his study going over vampire lore and all types of information. Bella had really become part of this family and I couldn't be happier that they loved her as much as I did. I just wished she would spend some time with me.

I seemed to be the only Cullen she was avoiding. If I walked into a room she would stop talking and if I sat beside her she would move or walk out. When she went hunting she asked Emmett or Alice to go with her but never me. Her room was right down the hall but she never walked this direction when she came up the stairs. It had been a week and the last words she had said to me were sorry.

I didn't want her sorry. I wanted her in my arms. I wanted her by my side. Laughing with me and talking with me and sharing everything with me. I didn't want Alice making plans for her future. I wanted us to be making plans for our future. I wanted things back the way that they were.

And then there was the pup. He showed up every day to take her walking or spend some time with her. Sometimes he showed up twice a day like that first night but she never turned him away. He had even brought one of the other wolves and instead of being nervous or angry like any normal vampire Bella had rushed into his arms too. And what's worse is he had treated her like she was a sister. He hadn't commented about the smell or the changes but had talked to her as he would an old friend. The three of them had sat outside and just laughed and joked like there wasn't anything strange about two werewolves and a vampire hanging out. And the whole time he had held her hand and she hadn't stopped him.

I hated him but after a week I couldn't say that he was treating Bella with anything other than the respect that she deserved. I didn't want to admit it but if he wasn't a werewolf and she wasn't the love of my existence he would have been the kind of person that I had wanted for her. He seemed attentive and he made her laugh. He looked at her with the same love that I did and his thought were completely centered on her and her happiness. In another world he would be perfect for Bella and that just made me want to kill him more.

I didn't want her with anyone other than me. I didn't want anyone holding her hand or looking at her with love except me. I didn't want him to make her happy. I wanted to do that and I had once before. I had been the one to make her laugh and to take care of her. I had been the one that she leaned on and the one that got to hold her. Could I be that man to her again? Could I win her back? I could try.

I sat up trying to come up with a plan. I first had to get her to talk to me and stop leaving the room every time I walked in but how?

_Why don't you talk to her_, Alice's thought came to me. She was standing in my doorway with a smile onher face_. You have to make an effort to Edward._

"I have been." I rebuffed. I had tried to make myself available for Bella whenever she wanted.

_Walking into a room and sitting there until she leaves is not making an effort_, she rolled her eyes coming in and sitting next to me.

_You have to talk to her. Let her know that you want her here and that you are glad that she is here. She's not a mind reader_, she laughed.

I rolled my eyes at her. "Thanks Alice."

_I'm being serious_, she sobered up_. She's never going to give you a chance if she still thinks that you don't want her._

"But I do."

_I know that and you know that but Bella doesn't_. She gave me a firm look. _The last time you really talked to her you were breaking up with her and telling her that we were leaving. How is she supposed to know that you were lying? She believed you Edward and it killed her to watch you leave._

She played out a vision that she had had of Bella lying in the woods the same day that I had left. She had never shown me this before and my non-beating heart fell apart watching Bella curl up in the dirt crying out to me. I shook my head trying to clear the image but knowing that I would never forget it.

"I shouldn't have left" I said quietly.

_No you should_, she agreed_. We all shouldn't but you can't change the past. Bella is here now and if you don't do something other than sit around and mope that stinky dog is going to win her affections._

"I thought you couldn't see them?"

_I don't have to be a psychic to see that. He is showing her that he wants her and that he loves her and it will only be a matter of time before she falls in love with him. Who could resist love Edward? Who doesn't want to feel wanted?_

She was right. Bella deserved to be loved and cherished and I wanted to be the one to do it. "What do I do Alice?"

_Why don't you ask her to go hunting with you or maybe take her to the meadow like before? _ Her face brightened.

"Do you really think she would want to go there after what just happened?" I didn't want to remember Victoria so I was pretty sure Bella didn't either.

_Okay maybe not the meadow but maybe some place equally as nice_, she shrugged at me_. There are a number of places in the forest that you can take her to talk. What about that one field right across the border in Canada. It's not as pretty as the meadow but it doesn't have as many memories and you don't have to run the risk of anyone recognizing her._

I knew exactly where she was talking about. It was a little far but it wouldn't feel like it if we ran and besides right now we couldn't drive. Bella didn't have any new papers that couldn't be traced if Charlie was to look for her. I would have to talk to Jasper about contacting his friend that did the documents.

_Already on that_, Alice smiled as she rose and crossed my room to the door_. How did you think I planned on getting her out of the country without a passport?_

Alice was always two steps ahead of everyone else. I stood also. I was determined to find Bella before that idiot could come show up for the day.

_She's in the game room with Emmett_, Alice called from somewhere in the house.

"Thanks Alice" I said to the air knowing that she would hear me.

_No problem_

I headed down the stairs to find Bella and Emmett in a serious game of Guitar Hero. It looked like Bella was winning by the thoughts coming from Emmett and the seriousness of his face. I stood back and watched as Bella kicked his butt. I knew Emmett hated to lose but she was really good. He hadn't been able to beat her when she was human so I was sure that he wouldn't stand a chance now either. No sooner had I thought it but Bella hit the last note and with that won the game.

"In your face, Em" She was laughing and dancing around in a little circle. I couldn't help the smile that came to my face. God, she was beautiful.

"I think you cheated." Emmett was grumbling.

"How?"

"I don't know but no one beats me at Guitar Hero unless they cheat." Emmett crossed his arms in front of him.

"Well I didn't cheat so there" She stuck her tongue out at him. I guess she figured if he could act childish so could she.

"Yes you did." He pouted.

"No I didn't."

"Yes you did."

"No I didn't."

"Yes you…" I cut him off before he could say it again.

"Don't pay him any attention Bella" I said walking into the room. "Emmett's just a sore loser."

"I am not." He pouted at me.

"Yes you are." I heard Jasper yell out to us.

"Cheaters" Emmett said then stopped out of the room thinking that no one in this house ever played fair.

I laughed turning to look at Bella. She was standing very still and not looking at me. I could tell she was nervous and it tore at my heart.

"Bella I wanted to ask you something if you don't mind." I found that I was just as nervous as she was. It was like asking her out for the first time all over again.

"Okay" Her voice was low but I heard it none the less.

"Would you…that is if you aren't busy…" I stuttered. Taking a deep breath and drawing in her amazing floral scent that hadn't changed I took the plunge. "Would you like to go somewhere with me to talk?"

Her head came up a little but her eyes didn't meet mine. "Just the two of us?"

"Yes" I told her. "I thought we could spend some time together."

"Okay" She still wasn't looking at me. "When?"

"Now would be good." My breathing picked up at the idea of an afternoon alone with her. I knew it was just a start but it was more than I had yesterday.

"I can't now but maybe tomorrow?" She asked raising an eyebrow toward me.

"That's fine." It hurt a little that we couldn't go today but if I planned it right then maybe I could have the whole day with her tomorrow and that flea trap would just have to miss a day. Let's see how he handles that.

"Are you helping Esme in the garden?" Maybe I could join them and then still have some time with her. It wouldn't be the same as being alone but I would take what I could get.

"No, I….I told Jake…" The doorbell rang on that last word.

Of course she had plans with him. He was here all the time so why wouldn't she have plans with him. My hatred grew at the idea that he was getting my afternoon.

"It's just that he said that he had a surprise for me today and I would hate to disappoint him." She was explaining.

I thought of how I would very much like it if she disappointed him but I kept those thought to myself. "Are you two staying here?" I didn't like the idea of spending time with him but I would if it meant being able to spend more time with Bella.

"No, I don't think so." She was looking at the door as if expecting him to walk in.

"I don't like you going off with him alone." I told her. I actually hated it.

"I'll be okay." She smiled.

"You don't know that." I said. "Werewolves are very volatile creatures." I used my hand to lift her face so that she would have to look at me. "I just want you safe."

"Jake wouldn't hurt me."

"Bella he could hurt you without meaning to." I needed her to understand. I couldn't lose her again. "You can't trust them."

"I trust him." She said softly.

"You shouldn't."

"Well I do." She knocked my hand away from her face. "And you can't tell me who I can be friends with or not."

"I'm not telling you who to be friends with." I protested although I knew she was right. "I'm just trying to protect you. To keep you from getting hurt."

"You are trying to stop me from getting hurt?" She looked me in the face. "You of all people want to protect me from being hurt? How dare you?"

_Back down Edward_, Alice warned but I was too far gone to listen.

How dare I? I had done nothing but try to protect her since the day we met. I had stayed away from her when it hurt to not be with her. I had risked everything by inviting her into my life knowing what could happen. I had left so that she could have a normal human life and I had been willing to sacrifice my own when her days ended. I had every right to protect her.

Plus I had sat in this house for the last week listening to that disgusting overgrown dog fawn all over her without saying a word. I hadn't said anything when she told us that he was in love with her or when she went off with him that first day. I hadn't said anything when she had talked to him on the patio that night instead of finding me to voice her concerns. I was hurt and I was jealous and more than anything I just wanted to grab Bella and haul her out into the hall and tell that intruder that she was mine and then kiss her in a way that would let him know that he didn't stand a chance.

"I have every right to want to protect you." I didn't notice that my voice had risen.

"Really?" She placed her hands on her hips. "And just who would you be protecting me from; yourself?"

"Why would you need protecting from me?" That was the craziest thing I had ever heard. I would sooner rip off my own arm then hurt her.

"I don't know, maybe because you've hurt me the worst." She yelled at me.

"What?" I yelled back. "I've done nothing but protect you."

"Bullshit Edward." She fought back. "You left me. You took your family and your love and my heart and you left me! You told me to move on and that it would be like you never existed." She was screaming now. "You walked away from me and left me crying and broken in the forest. I couldn't even find my way back home and you think someone else could hurt me more than you? There's nothing left for them to hurt." She shook her head at me and then stormed out of the room.

I had never heard Bella scream and certainly not at me but there was some truth to her words.

_I said talk to her not yell at her_, Alice screamed in my mind. _You so need to do damage control or she is never going to believe you now._

She was right. I heard Bella welcome Jake and then lead him away from the house. I recognized the engine of the car they got in as her old truck. I watched Bella in his mind as they pulled off. She was still angry but it looked as if she had calm a little. I didn't want to think it was because of him.

I ran a hand through my hair. What had I done and what did Bella mean when she said there was nothing left to hurt? Was it possible that I had hurt her so bad that she couldn't love me again? That she couldn't love anyone again? Had I been torturing myself with the idea that she had moved on not realizing that like me she couldn't?

Dear God, what had I done?

**AN: Another week, another chapter. Okay, so I know that all my team Edward fans out there might not like these two chapters but they are necessary. They will help the story and as always I just ask that you stay with me. With that said try to enjoy the next chapter and take it for what it is. A moment in a story. Trust me; we still have plenty to go :). And whether you like it or not please review.**


	9. Chapter 8: Our Moment

_Disclaimer: If you don't know by now then you never will. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I'm just having fun._

_**Chapter Eight: OUR MOMENT**_

_Jacob POV_

I knew Bella was hurting and I knew it was that bloodsuckers fault. Damn leeches. If they had just stayed away then Bella would be healthy and fine and not one of them right now. I hated that they had turned her but I still loved her. I couldn't not love her. How does one not love their soul mate?

And I had to admit that she was beautiful. Not that she hadn't been before but it was more. It was like she was at peace somehow. I missed the blush, the brown eyes and the warmth of her skin but I loved seeing her so relaxed.

She had been miserable while they were gone. Always walking around grabbing her middle as if that could ward off the pain. It had only served to make me hate them more. I had wanted to make her forget about those stupid parasites and now she was living with them. She had moved in and was staying under the same roof as those people who had left her all alone. And what was worse was that she acted like all was forgiven.

She should have kicked their sorry asses to the curb as soon as she woke up. She should have told them that they weren't welcome here anymore and that just because she was a vampire didn't mean that she had to stay with them. She should have run out of that house and straight to me. I would have protected her. I would have helped her.

Although at first I probably would have had to do it alone. I thanked God that there was a rule against killing another's imprint because without it Paul would have gone after her first thing. He had been so angry that I could still love her. That he could still feel my emotions for her as strongly as before. That I couldn't stay away from her even when she had been in that house and they hadn't let me see her.

He had thought that it was too dangerous for us to let a new vampire roam the town and had begged the elders to send her away but dad had helped. He didn't know what it was like to imprint but he knew what it was like to lose someone you loved. There wasn't a day that went by that he still didn't mourn my mother and he knew that it would be the same for me.

He had swayed Mr. Clearwater and old Mr. Ateara that to lose an imprint would destroy me and the rest of the pack since our thoughts and emotions were so tied together. They had agreed and that was how I had convinced them to let those other leeches stay in town and how my father had saved Bella's life.

Not that it would have been easy for the pack to hurt her. I would have fought them if I had to. I would even have told the bloodsuckers what was going to happen as long as it would have kept Bella safe. There was no way I would ever let anyone do anything that could harm her. She was everything to me and I would lay down my life for her if necessary.

We were headed up the coast to where we always raced our bikes. I had wanted it to be a special outing and that stupid leech had to go and ruin it. He had to go and upset Bella and now she was staring out the window and hadn't said two words since we left their house.

She hadn't even asked how we were able to be on Quileute lands. I had fought hard for that but I had told them that I would make sure that she didn't attack anyone and they had backed off some. I had a feeling that the pack might be close by but I didn't think that they would interfere unless something went wrong.

I didn't want to think of that. I didn't want to think of Bella trying to hurt anyone on the reservation or of the pack having to stop her before she destroyed our people. She was my heart and if something happened to her I wouldn't be able to go on.

"Bella talk to me" I pulled over to the side of the road hoping that if I got her talking we might be able to still have the wonderful and romantic afternoon that I had planned.

"Where did you get my truck?" Was all she said.

"It was at the border of the forest after….after everything." I couldn't bring myself to say what had happened to her. "I knew that Charlie couldn't find it if he was going to believe that you left so I drove it to my house and hid it in the shed with the bikes."

"What about your rabbit?"

"I finished it so it's outside by my dad's car now."

She turned and smiled at me. "That's great Jake. I'm so proud of you."

I beamed. There was nothing like hearing those words from someone that meant everything to you. "Thank you."

"Why didn't you bring it so I could see?"

I laughed. "It would have been kinda hard to fit both bikes in the back of the rabbit, Bella."

"Oh yeah, I guess so." She looked behind us to where I had our bikes covered with a tarp in the back of the truck.

"Besides that can be another date." I looked at her hopefully. I knew that she hated with I referred to any time we spent together as if it was more than friendship and I retrain myself most of the time but I wanted to be with her. I wanted her to want me just as much as I wanted her. But I was a patient man and I would wait as long as it took for her to realize that she loved me.

"I guess so" She didn't correct me but she did go back to looking out the window.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I tried one more time.

"Not really" She spoke softly.

"You know that you can." I reassured her. "I might not like him but I like you and if you need anything even if it's just a shoulder then I'm here."

"I know Jake" She said nothing more but her hand reached out and she squeezed mine and didn't let go. My heart soared out of my chest as I started the car again.

_Bella POV_

Jake was being great. He wasn't pushing but just letting me know that he was here. I loved that about him. The way he always made me feel so wanted. It was like there was nothing I could do that would get him to leave, unlike Edward.

I had done nothing and he had left and then he had the nerve to tell me that he didn't want me hurt. Did he know that I was still hurt from when he left before? That I was still hanging on by a thread and every time I saw him it was like putting salt into an open wound. That I still loved him and wanted to be with him.

My heart had started to beat again when he had asked if we could spend some time together. The fact that he had sought me out and that he wanted it to be just the two of us was like my wildest dreams coming true. I thought that if we could be together again at least maybe we could be friends. I missed talking to him and being with him so much. But then he had gone and told me that he was trying to protect me by saying that I shouldn't be friends with Jake.

Jake had never left me. Jake had accepted me when I became his mortal enemy and he had stayed consistent in letting me know how much he cared about me. Edward had gained my love and my trust and he had betrayed both. He had left me with nothing but pain and heartbreak. He had ripped out my heart and taken it with him making sure that I could never move on without him.

I knew that any other girl would be lucky to have Jake's affections. He was cute and funny and the most attentive person in the world. He was there no matter what happened and he was loyal to a fault. If I hadn't met Edward and if I hadn't loved with all that I was I would probably be the girl that Jake wanted. That Jake deserved but I couldn't be.

Jake deserved someone that could love him with her whole heart, some one that could be as devoted to him as he was to her, someone that could be there no matter what and grow old with him and give him children to carry on the family traditions and customs. He deserved more than I was ever capable of giving him even before I became a vampire. I had been a half of a shell. I still was and there was no way that I could give him all the love and support that he needed.

So why couldn't I let him go? I knew that this could only end in pain but I guess after what Edward did to me I couldn't leave him open and bleeding like that. I didn't want anyone to feel the way that I had for the last five month least of all Jake. But was it worse what I was doing?

I looked down at our joined hands. I was giving him hope. I was letting him think that there was a chance that something more could come of our friendship. It was wrong and still I couldn't pull my hand away. I began to wonder if there was more to this imprinting thing than he had said. Was it possible that something in me had also changed? That I now couldn't be without him.

I mean there had to be a reason that out of all the women in the world this happened to me. Was it possible that the imprinting worked both ways? That once someone shared themselves with you then you needed them also. Would the feelings of friendship and love that I have for Jake one day over shadow those for Edward just because Jake imprinted on me? Could I one day love him more than Edward?

It seemed unlikely but the thought bothered me. More and more I was starting to think that Edward really didn't want me as more than a friend or sister but I didn't like the idea of someone else replacing him in my heart. But could I spend eternity not having anyone in my life just because I decided to wait for him?

Jake was good and he was sweet and he was here. Could I give him a chance? Could I give this imprinting thing a chance? I knew it was wrong but I just didn't want to be alone anymore.

_Jake POV_

We reached the trail and I sensed my pack brothers. It angered me that they didn't trust Bella or me but I understood. I lifted the bikes out of the back of the truck as Bella tried to help but I wouldn't hear of it. New strength or not there was no way I was letting her lift a motorcycle. I was the man after all.

We walked them up to the main road when suddenly Bella stopped. "Jake we're at La Push."

"I know"

"But I'm not supposed to be here." She was backing away heading back to the truck.

"Relax Bells, I cleared it with the elders." I told her. "You can be here as long as you are with me. But that is only you and only because it's you."

"But Jake you're taking a big risk." Her eyes were darting around. "What if someone shows up or I can't control myself. I would hate it if I hurt someone important to you."

"Bella you will be fine." I caressed her check. I was finding it harder and harder not to touch her.

"Maybe you should call the rest of the pack or at least Embry." She was still looking around. "That way if something happens then I won't hurt anyone."

I knew they were out there but I wasn't sure if I wanted to share that with her. I didn't want her to think that I didn't trust her.

"Bella"

"I'm serious Jake." She stood her ground. "Go call them and let them know where we are. I'll wait." She crossed her arms and leaned against her bike.

I smiled at her and walked closer to her. "Their already here" I shared. "They knew we would be here and decided to show up."

She breathed out and a small smile floated across her face. "Good"

"You sure?" I still didn't feel right about this. "I don't want you to think that I don't trust you because I do. I trust you."

"Thanks Jake but this isn't about you." She shrugged. "This is about all the innocent people that live here. They don't deserve to be put in danger just so that I can believe that you trust me." She had a point. "And it's about me too." I looked at her deeply. "I couldn't stand it if I hurt someone. I can still remember that feeling when I realized that I had almost taken a life on my first hunt. I don't ever what to feel that way again."

"I don't want you to either." I pulled her into my arms. I held her close surprised that I was getting use to the smell and it didn't bother me like it use to. In fact it was starting to just smell like her. My nose still burned slightly but it wasn't like that first day or being with the rest of those leeches. This was just Bella and she was perfect.

"Come on" I said pulling away. "Let's race." I smiled at her and we went back to walking our bikes to the road. "Okay first one to the finish line wins and no using any new vampire powers."

She laughed at me and winked. "No werewolf powers either and just so you know now I would be able to see them."

I laughed too knowing that I had never used anything to win. We revved up the bikes and I called out go. Bella took off like a rocket and I was on her tail. We swerved around turns and I was relieved that Bella could stay on the bike now without falling. I let go and sped past her laughing. I wanted to cross that finish line first today. I had a special prize in mine.

Bella pulled up next to me and for the next mile we were neck in neck. We stole glances at each other but didn't stop. She had the biggest smile on her face and it made my heart jump. I loved seeing her happy and I really loved when it was tied to something I had done. I let her take the lead for the next half mile even knowing that the finish line was really close. She threw me a cheeky look and turned to focus on winning.

When I knew that it was only a few yards away I put on the gas and passed Bella in my dust. I knew that it wasn't very gentlemanly but my reward was just going to have to make me feel better about any regrets I might have about not letting her win.

I crossed our designated spot and brought my bike to a stop. Bella coasted up to me laughter all over her face. Her hair was flying behind her and the smile that she had was radiate. The clouds cleared for just a second and her skin set off this amazing sparkle. It was like looking at jewelry or the most remarkable painting.

I parked my bike and jumped off walking over to help her off hers. She was off before I reached her and so I took her in my arms instead. I knew that I shouldn't push her but there was no way that I could stop this moment from happening. No way that I wanted to stop it.

I brushed her hair back and smiled at her. "You're beautiful."

"I'm not" She looked away and I placed my hands on both sides of her face forcing her to look at me. I wanted her to feel my words. I needed her to know how wonderful she was.

"You. Are. Beautiful." I said slowly letting my thumb caress her jaw. Her eyes widened but then that same smile was back on her lips.

I lowered my head and I knew that I was taking a big chance here but I needed to feel her lips against mine. It was more than air, more than breath and there was nothing that could distract me from our first kiss.

I brushed my lips against hers lightly just in case she pulled away but she didn't. She stayed there looking up at me not saying a word and I took that as encouragement. I let my lips touch hers again this time more firmly. She held still in my arms but her lips moved hesitantly against mine. It took all of my self-restraint not to crush her to me.

She was giving me a chance. She was giving us a chance and I didn't want to take more than she would give. So I contented myself to this tender kiss letting my emotions run threw me and into her. She never wrapped her arms around me and she didn't breath but she didn't pull away. I lifted my head slowly letting my joy show on my face.

"That was the best prize anyone ever received." She smiled at my statement but it wasn't her usual smile and I couldn't help but wonder if she regretted it.

**AN: Don't hate me!!! Again all part of the story. And really how can you blame Bella or me from giving them a little time together. Especially when you get through the next few chapters. Bella has some hard things coming up and she is going to need both Jake and Edward. Hint: a loved character is coming back. Okay that is all that I am giving you for now. Review and let me know who you think it is?**


	10. Chapter 9: Thank You

_Disclaimer: If you don't know by now then you never will. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I'm just having fun._

_**Chapter Nine: THANK YOU**_

_Bella POV_

"So I know that it's not as fancy as all the other cars here but at least it's yours." Jacob said jumping out of the truck. He had let me drive it back since he said I could keep it at the Cullens. He also hadn't stopped smiling since he had….since I let him….since we finished the race.

I still couldn't believe that I had given him that kind of liberty. That I had just stood there. Not only stood there but participated and it had been nice. Nothing like I had thought it would have been and nothing like with Edward but nice.

"Are you sure you don't want to take it back?" I didn't like the idea of him running all the way home. "Or maybe I could get one of the Cullens to drive you back."

"No offense Bella but I can walk fast than that truck and for the record so can you now." He chuckled still wearing the same smile. "And I would rather run than ride with one of them."

"Jake"

"Bells, don't start okay." He grabbed my hand and pulled me closer. "I accept them because I have to but that doesn't mean that I have to like them. Besides they can't be on the reservation."

"But I was." I didn't understand their double standard.

"I told it's because you're different and because you're with me." He shrugged. "It's okay Bella. I don't mind running home."

"Are you sure?" I didn't want to press the issue. "You can always take your bike."

He looked over at them and his smile widened if possible. "I think they belong together. Sorta like us."

"Ja…"

"Don't say it." He cut me off. "Not today, okay?"

"Okay" I let it drop. He was getting more and more invested and I knew that with everyday I let this continue it would be harder and harder for him when I left. He swung my hand as we walked toward the front door and I tried to think of a way to put some distance between us so that maybe I didn't hurt him as much in the end.

"I can't see you tomorrow Jake." He stopped walking and turned to me.

"Why not?" There was an edge to his tone.

"Because I already made plans." I wasn't sure if Edward still wanted to go anywhere with me or if I wanted to go with him but it seemed like the perfect excuse.

"With him?"

I was about to tell him yes when Embry came running into the Cullens front yard. "Jake, there you are. Hey Bells."

"Hey Embry" It still amazed me how Embry acted like nothing had changed with me.

"This isn't a good time" He didn't turn to look at him but kept his eyes on me.

"Jake you gotta come now." Embry voice was shaking. "Sam and your dad have been looking for you everywhere."

That got Jake's attention. "What's wrong? Is it an attack?"

"No but something's happening over at the Clearwater's place" Embry told him.

"Is everything okay?" I asked. Harry Clearwater was one of Charlie's best friends and I had meet his children once or twice before and they all were really nice people.

"I don't know." He shrugged. "I just got a call to come here and see if I could find you and to tell you it's urgent."

Jake growled low in his chest and turned back to me. "I gotta go but I will see you tomorrow." He lowered his head so that we were looking eye to eye then pressed his lips lightly to mine.

I let him go but then called back running over to him. "Will you let me know what happened? Either call or come back by?"

"Will do" He gave me a smile then headed off into the trees. "See ya Bells" His voice sounded so light as I saw him pulling off his shirt. I had to laugh at the image. He was no more than an oversized kid. One that I was destined to hurt it seemed.

I walked back to the door but didn't feel the need to go in. I didn't know if they would be upset with me after my fight with Edward or if he would even try to talk to me again. I didn't know what was going on at the Clearwater's and I was hoping that it wasn't anything serious. And I didn't know what was going on with my relationship with Jake or how much more difficult I had just made it. It seemed like no matter what I did my life just kept getting more complicated.

"Hey Bella" Alice called out to me as soon as the door opened. You can always count on the pixie to greet you no matter how long you've been gone.

"Hey Alice" I said as I walked into the living room to find all the Cullens but one watching a movie.

"Did you have a nice time dear?" Esme smiled at me.

"Yes it was fun." I smiled back.

"What did ya do?" Emmett looked back at me.

"We just took our motorcycles up to La Push and rode this course Jake built."

"You went to the reservation?" Carlisle's turned to me with wide eyes as Jasper paused the movie.

"You ride motorcycles?" Emmett was smiling at me.

"Yes to both."

"How?"

"When?"

"Jake talked to the elders and asked if I could come to the reservation with him to supervise." I felt Edward walking down the stairs but he kept his distance. "And the bikes are just something I've picked up while you were gone." I couldn't tell them that it started as a way to hear Edward's voice.

"Way to go Bella" Emmett high fived me. "That's my baby sister." I rolled my eyes but couldn't help but laugh as I noticed Jasper and Alice were laughing too.

"So are we all allowed on the reservation now?" Carlisle was asking.

"No just me and just with Jake" I didn't like it but it was true.

"Figures" Rosalie rolled her eyes and I could hear the revulsion in her voice. I knew that I should keep my mouth shut but she had picked the wrong day to say anything to me.

"Did you have something you wanted to say Rosalie?"

She looked around settling on Emmett and shook her head no. "Are you sure?"

"Fine" She said standing with her hands on her hips. "I don't like how things keep getting changed just for you and I don't like the way that you keep hurting my brother and I think that you're an idiot."

"Rose" Emmett's voice rang out and I heard Edward snarl as he came up behind me.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me." Rose walked over to me and Edward was grabbing my waist as if to push me behind him but I wouldn't be moved. "I think you're an idiot. You act like it's no big deal that we all had to uproot our lives twice now for you or that the family worries every time you are with that mutt. It's like you have so self-preservation. Normal, sane people don't go out and find vampires and werewolves to date. They go out with plain guys like Tyler, Eric, or Mike Newton but you can't help yourself. And what's worse is you walk around here acting like the wet dog smell doesn't bother anyone. That we are all thrilled to have him showing up every day. That Edward loves seeing you with some other guy."

"Well we do mind and we aren't happy and it hurts him and it's about time someone told you just how selfish you are. We are doing all this for you and nothing. No 'thank you', not a 'do you mind if he comes over', not even an 'I love you guys'." She huffed. "You have to be the most inconsiderate, self-centered, death wish having human in the whole world." Her voice had gone up. "So even if they won't tell you then I will. Keep that retarded, oversized, stinky beast away from here."

I stood there for seconds seething before I launched at her knocking her over the couch and clawing at her face. I could feel the arms being wrapped around me and I was sure that they belonged to Edward or Emmett but I could see nothing past the red haze of my anger. Without warning I was dragged off her with Emmett standing in between us and the rest of the Cullens all around.

"You bitch" Rosalie yelled.

"Stop Rose" Jasper was walking toward me. "I can't calm her." I could feel his wave being sent out but it wasn't affecting me and I didn't want it too.

"You can say whatever you want about me but don't you dare talk about Jacob like that." I struggled in Edward's arms. "Do you have any idea how many times he has put me back together over the years? How many times he has been there for me? The things that he has gone through because of me? And the only thing he asks in return is for me to love him the way that he loves me and I can't because of your brother!" I yelled and felt the arms holding me fall away.

"Jake has been there for me my whole life. When I was seven and my parents were splitting up Jake helped me not be so sad. You think my clumsiness just started when you met me? No I have been falling over my feet since I could walk and every time I fell Jake was there to make it better. When he was nine he carried me back to his father's house after I fell and broke my leg. When he was eleven he found us a ride to the hospital when I broke my arm. Every time I had to spend a summer up here Jake was there to keep me busy because my father worked around the clock so that he didn't have to think about the fact that he had lost his wife and daughter."

"Who do you think was there when you all left five months ago? When my heart was broken and I couldn't breathe? When I was screaming out in pain and going catatonic? When my parents were considering putting me in a hospital because I wouldn't eat or speak or move? While you were off enjoying your existence, who do you think was there trying to get me to remember mine? Jake came over every day just to sit with me even when I could do nothing but stared off into space and not say a word and you think that I should just abandon him."

I took a step closer to her and Emmett moved with me. "You think I wanted this? That I wanted a vampire for a boyfriend or a werewolf for a best friend. You're wrong I didn't want any of it. But that's what I got." I looked around at everyone but Edward. "You think I didn't know what I was walking into when I first came here? That I didn't know that what happened at my birthday could have happened at any time except that it wouldn't be Jasper trying to kill me it would be Edward because my blood was so much more to him. You think that I don't know there is a risk being with Jacob. Sam's fiancée Emily who is the sweetest, friendliest girl you will ever met has a huge scare from her eye to her lip because Sam lost his temper once and she was to close. Believe me I know and it terrifies me but you can't help who you love."

I stalked up to Rosalie with Emmett holding his ground right in front of her. "So thank you for rearranging your life for me and I love each and every one of you whether you left me or not. Whether you have ever been kind to me or not." I looked toward Jasper. "Whether you have ever tried to kill me or not." I let my eyes dart to Edward. "Whether you've hurt me or broken me or not. I love you all." I narrowed my eyes at her. "But I will not be asking for permission to see Jake or if it is alright with the majority if he stays because as long as I'm here he is welcome here whether you like it or not. And if you ever treat him with anything short of the respect he deserves Emmett won't be able to stop me from pulling each and every hair out of your beautiful head."

"And I am not going to spend every day for the rest of forever walking on egg shells because you don't want me here." I moved quickly past Emmett and smiled. "You got me for eternity Rose, so I suggest you get over yourself and get use to it." I kissed her on the cheek and then ran out of the room.

I ran up the stairs, slamming my door, and falling on my bed dry sobbing. I hadn't meant to yell at her but I couldn't take it anymore. The way that she talked about Jake had been the last straw. She didn't even know him and he had been my best friend for so long. He had done so much for me. More than I had realized until I was laying it all out for the Cullens. There was no way that I could leave him now.

But I would have to. No matter what I would eventually have to go. Even if I tried to stay here with him and be what he wanted eventually people would notice the not aging. The people of the tribe would start to shun him for having the enemy for a mate. The other wolves would probably have to ask him not to be part of the pack anymore because how can you trust a wolf to hunt down vampires and kill them when he's married to one. And what if it was me? What if one day he had to hunt down me?

I knew that it could come but Jake didn't seem to think so. Just the fact that he had taken me to La Push with all those people so close by showed he had no idea what could have happened. What if I had attacked someone? Someone like Harry or Billy? What if Charlie had been there fishing today and I had attacked him? I could have killed my own dad because Jake didn't want to see the dangers of having me there.

It was like he didn't understand that I was different. Or maybe he understood he just didn't want to accept it. Like the longer he can act like nothing has changed the longer he doesn't have to see how much everything has. But on some level he had to know that this wasn't going to work. That we couldn't stay together forever; that it wasn't right.

We were natural enemies now. If I was anyone else he would be ripping me to shreds not holding my hand. Embry would be coming over to help not to hang out on the back porch sipping lemonade. They would be hunting me determined that I not take one more unneeded breath. Didn't he get that? Couldn't he see that this went against all the laws of nature? Couldn't I?

Rose was right in some ways. I knew that it was brothering Edward every time Jake showed up and I did kinda like it. It was like the sick game of danger that I had played just to hear his voice. It was a way to stay connected to him. A small hope that he still cared. That maybe he still loved me. It was wrong to try to make him jealous using Jake and I didn't want to do it but I didn't seem able to help myself.

I sat up. Okay no more crying and no more playing games. Tomorrow when Jake showed up I was going to be firm. I was going to tell him that we couldn't hang out but that I would see him later. It was only one day and he needed to start getting use to the fact that he wouldn't be able to see me all the time and so did I.

Jake had become my crutch. He had been the only normal thing in my life since the Cullens left and the idea of not having him hurt. It was in that moment that I knew. Having Jake around had nothing to do with the imprint thing or because of making Edward jealous. It was because I loved him. Not in the way that he wanted but more than just a friend. He was the most important thing in my life right now. The only thing holding me together. I had lost so much and I couldn't lose him.

I fell back down as I heard muffled voices outside my room before there was a knock on my door. "Come in"

Rosalie waked in slowly and sat down on my bed. "Can I help you?" I didn't want to fight with her any more but I wasn't going to back down now either.

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry." She mumbled. "I shouldn't have said some of those things. Not that I didn't mean them but I was out of line. Whatever is going on between you and Edward is none of my business and I shouldn't have interfered."

"Did Edward make you come up here and say that?" I couldn't believe that she was doing this on her own. "Or Emmett?"

"No" She looked toward the door. "But they did suggest it." She breathed out. "Look Bella the bottom line is this. I don't like you but I do respect you. Or at least now I do." She half smiled. "It takes a lot of balls to stand up to someone in front of everyone the way you did down there and you were right. Whether I like it or not you are family now so I better get used to it."

"Wow" I wasn't sure what to say. "Thanks."

"Sure" She stood and headed toward the door.

"Maybe one day we could be friends?"

"Like you and Alice?" She looked alarmed.

"Not like Alice" I shook my head. "I love her but I couldn't take two of her."

We both laughed as I heard a high pitched voice call out, "I heard that", which only made us laugh harder.

"Maybe we could try." She smiled and left.

I laid back down on my bed in shock. Who would have thought that Rosalie Hale would agree to us trying to be friends let alone say that she respected me? Maybe I should have tried to kick her ass long ago.

**AN: Happy Wednesday everyone!! Okay so this might be my favorite chapter of this story to far. I really needed Bella to come into her own in and I think she does it here. Plus I couldn't have her be perfect newborn Bella the whole way :). I hope you enjoyed and please continue to review. We are like the little engine that could; one review at a time.**


	11. Chapter 10: So Lost

_Disclaimer: If you don't know by now then you never will. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I'm just having fun._

_**Chapter Ten: SO LOST**_

_Edward POV_

I couldn't believe that my Bella went off on Rosalie. Not only went off on her but attacked her. Knocked her right on her ass. If it wasn't for the fact that I was sure Rose could fight I might have let her go. It was about time someone put Rosalie in her place. I wasn't exactly thrilled that Bella had done it while standing up for that dog but I did like this new side of her. She was all feisty and it was fun to see.

I had always thought Bella had to be the strongest person I would ever met to date me without fear of what I might do. No matter what I told her, when others would have run screaming, it never seemed to phase her. That type of inter strength is inspiring but to see her really show it was amazing. First with me telling me how much I had hurt her and then telling Rosalie that she needed to get over herself, and the best part is that she had been right on both accounts.

I had hurt her. As much as I didn't want to think about it deep down I knew it was true. I had hurt her more than what she even mentioned. It was my fault that James came after her and it was completely my fault that I didn't take Victoria into consideration when I left. Even if I was trying to protect her from myself and my family I should have stayed without her knowing just to make sure that nothing happened. That my past didn't come back to bit her; literally. Truthfully it was only a secondary thought to hunt down Victoria. I had been so lost without Bella and being around my family hadn't helped. They all had their mates and every time I looked at them all I wanted to do was run back to Bella. I had needed something to occupy me and finding Victoria seemed like a good place to start. Thank God I did. I didn't want to think about what would have happened to Bella if I hadn't been on her trail. If she had come back here and found Bella alone with just the wolves to protect her, my Bella would more than likely be dead right now. I mean the real dead.

As for Rosalie, the idea of her calling anyone selfish is comical. Every thought that goes through her brain is either about herself or Emmett and mostly herself. I knew that she loved us all and that she valued her family and would do anything for us but to think of her standing up for me with Bella would have made me laugh if Bella hadn't lunged for her throat. Especially when I could hear her thoughts and they were mostly centered on how much she hated being stuck in the house here and that the smells coming off Bella were enough to make her gag. There hadn't been one thought about me until she decided to would be a better argument. But Bella got her point across and Rose had apologized. Now it was my turn to do the same.

I left my room determined to seek out Bella. I needed to find her and make sure she knew how sorry I was for all the pain that I had ever caused her and that I wanted her here more than I wanted anything in this world. Not just wanted but needed. My heart needed her like my body needed blood and it was time that she knew that.

_Try the patio_, Alice directed. _And this time don't screw it up. Talk not yell, got it Edward?_

I gave no acknowledgement that I had heard her except that my steps changed and I moved away from Bella's room and toward the stairs. I found Bella sitting on the back swing that Esme had installed about a month before we left. She had put it there because Bella had mentioned how much she had always wanted a swing when she was a kid. A week later it was here and I don't think Bella ever knew that she was the inspiration.

I walked up quietly as I sat beside her. I didn't want her to leave but I was scared to take the chance of asking if I could join her. After everything that she had said today I wasn't confident that I would be welcome. We sat there for a few minutes not really moving or saying anything and Bella never looked my direction. She had her eyes glued to the edge of the forest.

"Can we talk?" I asked.

"I wouldn't be good company right now Edward." She said softly but never moved her eyes.

"Then can you listen?" There was so much that I wanted to tell her.

"Does it have to be right now?" She asked. I didn't know how to take that. I didn't like the fact that I had come out here to share my heart with her and she was pushing me away but after the day that she had had I did understand it.

"I guess it doesn't if you would rather wait." I wanted her attention focused on me and right now she did look distracted.

"Thank you" She said never moving her head.

"Are you looking for something?" I asked finding myself staring at the same spot.

"Yes"

"What?"

"I'll tell you but you won't like my answer." I could tell by her voice that she was feeling defensive and it hurt that she thought she couldn't share with me. I missed when we could talk about anything, when she told me everything.

"You can tell me anything Bella" I wanted that time back and this could be the first step.

"You'll get mad."

"I promise I won't" And I would keep that promise no matter what she said.

She turned then looking me right in the eye as if gauging my reaction before speaking. "I'm looking for Jake." She didn't turn but kept her eyes locked with mine.

I breathed in slowly keeping my emotions in check. I didn't like that she was expecting him again today but I wasn't going to ruin our relationship because of him. I had done enough damage on my own and after everything she said today I was coming to realize that if I wanted Bella back I might just have to accept this person as part of her life.

"I see" I nodded and waited for her to elaborate but she said nothing and continued to look into my face.

"That's it?"

"Yes" I smiled the crooked smile that I knew she loved. "Bella I know that I've done and said some things that have hurt you very much and for that I am sorrier than you could ever know or I could ever express. The last thing I want to do is hurt you more and I realize after everything you said how important this person is to you. I would hate to lose you even more because I pushed you about your friendship with him." I stressed the word friendship without even thinking about it.

"Really?" I could tell by the look she was giving that she wasn't convinced.

"Bella no matter what you have and will always be the most important person in my life." I told her. "So if he is important to you then I will make an effort to be more welcoming."

She didn't say anything at first. Then she pulled herself closer to me and put her arms around my neck hugging her body to mine. It was the best shock I had ever received. To feel her next to me again was everything that I had been hoping for. I quickly wrapped my own arms around her pulling her tighter to me. She had showered so the wet dog smell was gone and it was just my Bella. She didn't smell exactly as she did when she was human and I was glad since my throat wasn't burning but it was still the same. Her sweet smell was still stronger to me than it would be to anyone else and I would have it no other way. We sat there like that for only a few minutes but they were the best minutes I had experienced in the last five months.

She pulled away smiling and it was a real smile. The hesitance was gone as was the nerves. Her guard with me had come down. Now all I needed to do was show her how much I loved her and needed her and maybe, just maybe, I could win her back.

"Thank you" Her voice was just above a whisper but with my hearing it was crystal clear. "I can't tell you what it means to me for you to say that. I feel…" She trailed off.

"What Bella?"

She closed her eyes and my frustration grew. It was always so hard not being able to hear her mind especially when she had her eyes closed. "I feel so lost." She lowered her head. "Do you remember when I would beg for you to change me?"

"Yes"

"You would always tell me the cons of my choice, always list out the things that I would be giving up." She opened her eyes and looking back at mine. "I guess I finally understand that now." She was shaking her head back and forth. "I want to help and I can't."

"You want to help with what?" I needed to know. She looked so sad and I had to do whatever I could to erase the pain in her eyes.

"Something happened today at the Clearwater's" I breathed in. Surely if she had attacked someone she would have told us. "But I don't know what. Embry came and got Jake telling him that he was needed over there but he didn't say why." I relax some at her words. "Harry Clearwater is one of Charlie's best friends. They go fishing almost every week and watch football with Billy every game." I could see the hurt and pain in her eyes growing and I wanted to pull her back against me but I wasn't sure if she would be okay with that. I hated that I didn't know. All I wanted to do was comfort her and I had to hold myself back because she may not want me.

"What if it's something bad?" She would have tears in her eyes right now if she could. "I keep trying to convince myself that it isn't but if everything was okay then Jake would have called or come back already. He's been gone for hours and just sitting here is killing me for lack of a better word."

"I should be with Charlie." She was right. That was her place and because of us she couldn't. "I should be there to make sure that he's okay. That whatever happens he'll be okay but I can't. I can't go to him now; I can't go to him ever."

"He's going to live and grow old and die and I'm never going to be able to be there for him again." Her shoulders shook as if she was crying and I couldn't help it. I wrapped my arms around her offering her whatever strength she could take from me. "I'm never going to be able to see my father again and I'm not sure that he knows."

"Knows what Bella?"

"How much I love him." She breathed out. "How important he is to me. I was in such bad shape the last time he saw me. I was a walking shell of a person. I would disappear for long periods of time working with Jake on the bikes just so Charlie didn't see. I would scream out in pain every night from the nightmares and when he came to help I would turn away from him because I didn't want him to feel my pain as well." My dead heart was ripping to pieces at the description of the life I left her to. This was not what I had wanted.

"All that time I didn't see how much pain I was causing him and now I'm gone. He doesn't know where I am or if I'm okay. I haven't talked to him in over a week and now this." She pulled back from me. "Edward what if he can't handle this? What if he's about to crack and whatever happened at the Clearwater's today pushes him to the breaking point? I need to be there and I can't."

I wanted to help but I wasn't sure what I could do. I couldn't take her to see Charlie. Besides the fact that she was a newborn and the scent of his blood would be too much for her how was she going to explain the physical changes? She looked like Bella but a different version of her and Charlie would have to be blind not to notice.

Maybe she could call. Her voice would sound different over the phone but she could blame that on connection or phone cords and she wouldn't have to tell him where she was but she could let him know that she was fine and check on him.

"What if you called?" I asked her hoping that Alice would see whether this would work or if it would have long term affects.

"Do you think that could help?" She looked up at me with hope shining in her eyes.

"You'll sound different but you could tell him that it has to do with the phone." I shrugged. "At least you could check on him and make sure that he was doing good and let him know that you're okay."

I could see her thinking about it. "Okay" She smiled at me and my heart healed just a little.

I reached into my back pocket glad that I always keep my cell phone on me. I handed it to her. "You can just press two."

"Two?" She looked confused.

"You're programmed in." I told her sheepishly.

She smiled again and took the phone holding down the number two button until the phone started dialing. I listened as she held the phone to her ear while it rang. I wasn't sure if I should give her privacy to talk to her father or if she would want me to stay. Undecided I stayed in my spot until I heard the answering machine pick up.

"Should I leave a message?" She asked.

"If you do then how is he going to call you back?"

"That's true." She pressed the end button and handed the phone back to me. "Well it was a good idea at least."

"I'm sorry." I wished I could think of something more.

"Don't be" She shook her head at me. "I should have known that he wouldn't be home. I had already tried Jake's house and there was no answer there."

"Still…"

"Hey you tried so thanks."

"You're welcome." It felt empty to say it. She was thanking me when I had done nothing to help. She still didn't know what had happened or how her father was doing. I felt just as helpless as she did. What if I went by her house and checked on Charlie for her. After months of sneaking in and out of her room I knew how to get around her neighborhood undetected and I could let her know exactly how he was doing. I was about to suggest it when the trees split open and her wolf friend came walking through.

"Jake?" She rushed off the swing and over to him. He caught her as she flung herself at him and was hugging her tightly right in front of me. I knew that I had promised to try to be nice to him but this was more than I could take. I suppressed the growl that was building in my chest by thinking of the few moments that I had just had with Bella and that right now she had questions and he was the one that could answer them.

"Jake what happened?" She pulled away from him and I was relieved. "Have you been crying?"

"Bella you should sit back down." He was leading her back to the swing.

"Why Jake?" She had started to breathe faster even though she didn't need it. "What's wrong? What happened?"

The family must have heard them talking because they had all gathered by the back door and were looking toward Bella.

"Sit down Bella"

"No" Her voice was rising. "Tell me what happened?"

"Maybe you should sit back down Bella" I joined in hoping to easy what was shaping up to be bad news.

"I said no!" She screamed. "I am not sitting down until someone tells me what the hell happened today."

"Alright" He was holding her hands in his and this time I didn't care. If it would make this better for Bella it didn't matter. "Bella, Harry had a heart attack. He and Charlie were out fishing when it happened. Charlie rushed him back to shore and then to the hospital. But it was too late."

"What do you mean?" Her voice was so low that I had trouble hearing it. I could see Esme moving toward her along with Alice. They could obviously tell what was coming as we all could.

"He's gone Bella" Jake said holding her hands tighter. "The doctors did everything they could but they couldn't save him. He's….he's….gone."

"And Charlie?" She steeled herself.

"Charlie didn't take the news so well." He paused as if giving her time to get ready. His eyes darted to us and he motioned his head slightly knowing that Bella would need whatever support we could give her.

"Tell me Jacob."

"Charlie….he had…" He stuttered over the words. "Bella, Charlie had a stroke."

**AN: Okay so I know that wasn't the way that we all wanted Charlie (our loved character) to come back but there he is. Don't hate me too much :( and I look forward to your reviews.**

**Ps. There might be a Valentine surprise coming. Stay tuned.**


	12. Chapter 11: Stop Me

_Disclaimer: If you don't know by now then you never will. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I'm just having fun._

_**Chapter Eleven: STOP ME**_

_Bella POV_

"_Bella, Charlie had a stroke."_

My world stopped moving. I knew everyone was staring at me but I couldn't move. I had always made fun of Edward for the way that he could be still but at that moment I was the statue. It was my worst nightmare come to life. All those times I had wanted this. Wanted to be with Edward, wanted to be a vampire but I hadn't thought of the loss. I hadn't thought of the fact that one day Charlie or Renee would need me or wouldn't be here and I wouldn't be able to see them. Now that day was here.

"Is he…is he…." The word wouldn't come out. I could feel Esme's hands on me and I knew that Alice and Edward were close but right in that second the only one I wanted to touch was Charlie.

"No" Jacob breathed out. "He's at the hospital. His left side is paralyzed and he can't speak but the doctors think that with physical therapy and time he should be okay."

I breathed out for the first time since Jake gave me the news. "I'm going to see him." I shook everyone off me and turned toward the door.

"Bella you can't" Jake's hand grabbed my arm.

I looked down at it and then back up at him. "Jake you know I care about you. That I would do anything for you but right now I am going to see my father and if you don't take your hand off me I am going to throw you into one of those trees." He had to know I was serious but he didn't move. "Jacob let go of me, now!" I roared.

He looked torn between letting me go and holding tighter. His eyes moved around and I wasn't sure if the pack was here too just to make sure I didn't go near town. Well if he thought he was going to stop me then that was what it was going to take.

"Bella, you can't go" Edward's velvet voice sounded in my ears. He was standing between me and the door with Emmett to one side and Jasper to the other.

"I'm going Edward and you're not going to stop me either." I would go through them all if I had to. This was my father we were talking about. There was no way I wasn't going to be there for him.

"Bella think about it." He reached for me but pulled back when he saw my eyes widen. "He's in a hospital. You can't be around that many people. I know that you've been doing great the last few days but we haven't exposed you to any areas with people."

"I went to La Push today." I argued.

"But we were in a car Bells with the windows up." Jake joined in. "And the trail that we rode on was outside of the reservation. There wasn't anyone around for miles except for some of the pack. You weren't near people like you would be at the hospital."

"Plus there's going to be operations going on." Edward added. "People coming in with cuts and bleeding everywhere. You wouldn't be able to handle it. There are times we can't handle it and we have been doing this a lot longer than you." His eyes softened. "Bella I know you want to do something but you could hurt someone." He moved closer. "You could kill someone and I won't let you live with that."

"But he's my father" I knew I would be crying if I could. "How am I supposed to sit here and do nothing while he's lying there? How can I not go to him?" I looked between Edward and Jake waiting for an answer.

"You just have to." Jake said quietly while pulling me toward him. "Bella, you know that I would do anything for you to, but I can't do this. I can't let you go." He was holding me then but I wasn't moving. My body had gone as dead as my heart. "Baby, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry but I can't. Even if I have to fight alongside them to stop you."

If this were a different situation I would find it hilarious that the first time Jacob and Edward were on the same side it would be to stop me. They were actually ganging up on me together. In a million years I never would have thought that day would have existed but apparent it does.

They weren't going to let me go. I knew they had good points and were probably right but it's my father. It a man that has been there for me even when I didn't realize that he was and he needed me. What kind of daughter doesn't go to her father when he needs her? Rosalie was right. I am selfish. It's because of my wants and needs that I couldn't be there to see to my fathers.

"So I'm just supposed to sit here and do nothing but worry?" My voice matched every part of me; cold and dead.

"For now" Jake pulled back. "I promise I won't leave the hospital until Charlie's okay and I'll send Embry with updates as often as I can."

"You're not a doctor Jake." I told him.

"I am" Carlisle walked over to me. "I am and I can go take care of him. The hospital won't bother me."

"But you're not supposed to be here."

"I know but I can tell the hospital that Jacob called you and you called me." Carlisle explained. "They won't think anything of it and I can make sure that your father gets the best care that he can."

"And if he needs a nurse or whatever when he comes home then we can get it for him." Esme was smiling at me. "Whatever he needs."

"But why?"

"You're family Bella" Alice said standing beside me. "We take care of our family. Haven't you learned that yet?"

"All the wolves will be there."

"They won't touch them." Jake assured me. "I'll talk to Sam and let him know what is going on. If it means helping Charlie we'll all pitch in."

I looked around at my family, all of my family, and sobbed against Jake's shoulder. I had been nothing but a complication and here they all were coming together to help Charlie and by extension me. I couldn't be there but they would be. They would take care of him until I could see him. Until I could know for myself that he was better.

"Thank you." I said looking at all of them. "Thank you so much."

"No problem Bells" Jake was still rubbing my back. I moved slightly further away from him remembering earlier today. I couldn't keep turning to him whenever something was wrong. This was just going to give him more room to hope.

"Okay so I will go get my things and call the hospital on my way there." Carlisle came over and gave me a hug. "We'll have Charlie good as new in no time."

"Thanks Carlisle."

"And I'll go talk to Sam and let the other's know that Carlisle is coming to the hospital to help Charlie so there shouldn't be any problems." Jake gave my shoulder a squeeze and backed toward the trees.

"Thanks Jake."

"I'll look online and see what kind of home care he might need when he gets home." Alice piped in. "Some of those nurses could have waiting list." She grabbed Jasper's hand and headed inside.

"Thanks Alice."

"I think I should prepare something for the people there." Esme was nodding. "Some sort of care package." She was going for the kitchen. "Rose, Emmett, you two can help."

"Sure thing Esme" Emmett smiled at me and followed behind her.

"Thanks you guys."

I was left with just Edward standing before me. "What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to make sure that you are okay." He walked closer smirking. "And that you don't try to make a break for it through the trees."

I gasped. "How did you know?"

"I didn't but I had an idea." He laughed lightly. "And then as Alice was passing she mentioned it." Damn it Alice.

"I forgot" I shook my head pacing across the brick.

"It happens." He shrugged. "After being around her so long you forget that any thoughts that sound like a plan go right to her."

"So how do you get around that?" I asked.

"I'll tell you after Charlie's home." He looked at me. "I tell you now and you'll be gone by morning."

I had to laugh at that. He knew me well. "You're right."

"I usually am."

I rolled my eyes. "Not always."

"No, not always" He sobered. I had a feeling he was thinking about our relationship but I couldn't be sure and right now I didn't have the energy to analyze all that we had been through.

I made my way back to the swing and sat down. He followed me and positioned himself next to me. "You don't have to babysit. I promise that I won't go anywhere." I told him. "Besides Alice will see if I change my mind."

"It's okay" He moved closer to me and put his arm around my shoulder. "There's nowhere else I'd rather be."

"Even though I stink like Jacob?" I teased.

"Even though" He smiled that crooked smile back at me. "And I guess I better get used to it."

My heart jumped at that statement. "What do you mean?"

"Exactly what I told you before." He was looking at me. "If he is important to you then I will work on accepting him." He moved his hands so they were cupping my face. "Bella, I don't want you to feel lost or like you can't tell me anything you want. I want us to be able to talk like we use to. I miss being able to share everything with you." He leaned his head against mine. "I just miss you."

I didn't want to believe that he could be thinking the same things that I was. It would be too much if I let myself hope just to be let down again. I had to remind myself that he was being nice because of all that had happened over the last week. That was it but even if it wasn't I couldn't do that right now. Not with what was going on with Charlie.

"Edward I can't do this right now." I pulled back from him. "I can't think about our relationship when I should be with my father."

"I know" He was shaking his head. "Don't worry. I'm not going to pressure you for anything. It's just with everything going on I want you to know that I'm your friend and I've always been your friend. So whatever you need just ask."

"Anything?"

"Other than me taking you to hospital" I smiled at him.

"No it's not that." I was shaking my head. "I understand all the things that everyone was saying but all of those things could be temporary."

"What do you mean?" He looked confused.

"I know that I can't learn enough control to handle a hospital right at the moment but if you worked with me then I could probably learn enough control to handle seeing just Charlie when he is released." I looked up at him hopeful.

"Bella" He was trying to come up with a way to tell me no. "Bella, it takes years almost decades to learn the control that we have."

"I'm not looking to be able to go back to high school." I told him. "At least not right now, I have eternity to get my degree. I just want to be able to see my father."

"And what about the fact that you look different?"

"I thought about that." I opened up to him. "I could wear contacts that hide the change in my eyes and if I pull my hair back then I wouldn't look all that different. I could also wear baggy clothes that would hide the difference in my shape and if I practice I am positive after eighteen years of falling over my feet I could manage a few trips while I'm there."

"You've really thought this out."

"Just recently" I smirked. "My brain works faster now so I was able to come up with some ideas while I was waiting for news about Harry."

He was thinking. I had never really seen his face look so serious before. I didn't want him to turn me down but I didn't want to hurt my father any more than I already had.

"Jasper, Alice" Why was he calling for them?

Before I could ask they were both standing with us. "I don't see any problems with her going but it's foggy. That could be because you haven't made up your mind yet." Alice was shrugging.

"Jasper?" Edward was asking him something.

"How long Alice?" Jasper answered Edwards question by turning to Alice.

"I can't completely tell with all the wolves there." She looked frustrated. "A month, maybe more."

"If we push her she might be able to handle it but I wouldn't let her go alone." Jasper was looking back at Edward.

"Of course not I would be with her and probably Carlisle." Edward continued talking to them. For the first time I understood why Emmett always complained when they had their own conversations. I had no idea what they were saying.

"What about the wolves?" Jasper asked.

"If I talk to the one that keeps coming here, Jacob, maybe we can work something out." Edward's breath came out shaky. "No it wouldn't be my ideal situation either but I promised." He looked over at me quickly. "I have to try."

"We would have to start right away." Jasper kept talking. "Take her closer to town."

"What if we went to the house and got some of Charlie's things?" Alice added to this confusing conversation.

"I thought about that to and I think that would help." Edward was agreeing.

"Could one of you explain what you're talking about?" I reached my limit.

"Sorry Bella" Edward turned to me. "Jasper has a lot of experience with newborns and I was asking him if he thought that we could train you in time to see Charlie."

"And I was letting them know that I couldn't see clearly if you would lose control or not because the decision hadn't been made for you to go." Alice explained. "Plus with the wolves involved I can barely see anything at all." She huffed.

"So you think it's possible?" I looked to Jasper.

"I think that if we teach you some ways to handle your thirst and desensitize you to Charlie's smell, similar to what Edward had to do when you two first started dating, and then you might be able to handle it." Jasper smiled at me but it was a tight smile. "However, this is only a possibility. Most newborns can't handle human blood for the first year or two and with you being stronger than just one of us right now I was suggesting that Edward not be there alone."

"To which I let him know that I would probably ask Carlisle to be there because he's a doctor and it wouldn't worry your wolf friends as much as Emmett." Edward filled me in. "I was also thinking that since you and Jacob" He stumbled over the name "are so close he would be willing to help."

I smiled up at them. "So what do we do?"

"First I think that you need is to get used to Charlie's smell." Jasper was strategizing. "Edward since you know Bella's house so well I think you should head over there now and get a few things of Charlie's while Alice and I take her hunting."

"Wait" Alice stopped him when he stood up. Her eyes were squinted and her face was contorted. "I think one of the wolves might be there. It's fuzzy somehow."

"Are they there now?" Edward asked.

"No" Alice was shaking her head. "If they were there now I wouldn't be able to see anything but maybe they are trying to decide if they are going over or something." She growled. "I hate this."

Jasper chuckled and put his arm around her in a supportive manner. "It will be alright." I could feel calm flowing out from him and I knew he was trying to help.

Edward had picked up his cell phone and was dialing. "Who are you calling?" I didn't think any of the pack had cell phones and even if they did I doubt they would give him the number.

"Carlisle" He let me know. "He's at the hospital and he can ask one of the wolves if they are going to the house or at the very least let them know what we are planning."

"Oh" I hadn't thought about Carlisle.

We all listened as he shared the plan over the phone, first with Carlisle then Jacob and finally Sam. After what felt like forever they had come to some kind of resolution. They were worried about my being alone with Charlie but as long as two of the wolves could be there along with Jacob, Edward and Carlisle they wouldn't stop me. Edward didn't like the idea of being out number so he suggested Alice since she was small and could see if I was going to attack.

The news that Alice could see the future didn't go over well with the wolves until Edward informed them that she couldn't see them. They relax after that and agreed that it would be okay to include her. However, Jasper didn't like that but Alice agreed and everything was in motion.

Carlisle agreed with Alice's guess as to when Charlie would be home and let me know that he was actually doing better than Jake had originally thought. He was speaking but the words were slurred and he had wanted to know how I got in touch with Carlisle so fast. All and all I felt better after the call.

"Okay so I will go get a few shirts of Charlie's and you go hunting." Edward said while hanging up his phone.

"Thanks Edward." I hugged myself to him and his arms wrapped around me with none of the hesitance that had been present earlier. It felt as if we were back where we started.

I pulled back to look up into his eyes and saw that they had softened to a muted gold. But the thing I noticed the most was the emotion that was pouring out from them. It had been so long since he had looked at me like that. My now dead heart began to beat again.

He gave me his crooked smile. "Anything for you Love" he said kissing my forehead lightly as he ran off into the forest.

**AN: Happy Valentine's Day!!! I thought I would post a little something extra for the weekend. Not to mention that I couldn't go a week with everyone worrying about Charlie. I hope everyone is planning some great, romantic times with your honeys and if your honey-less (as I am) maybe curling up with a great movie or book or some great friends. I was thinking about having a Valentine Day dinner for all my friends without men but then my father took the weekend off. Just like a man to ruin our fun LMAO. Either way I hope you have a great time and don't forget to review. They would be like my very own Valentine's. How sweet :).**


	13. Chapter 12: Feeling Alone

_Disclaimer: If you don't know by now then you never will. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I'm just having fun._

_**Chapter Twelve: FEELING ALONE**_

_Jacob POV_

"Sorry dear but Bella just left to go hunting." The mom bloodsucker, Esme I think, was telling me. "I can let her know that you called when she gets back."

"Thank you" I still didn't like them but I had promised Bella I would be polite.

"No problem" She said hanging up. I hung up the hospital phone and walked slowly back to the area where Charlie's room was.

Three weeks of this and I was starting to worry. I wasn't worried about Charlie. As much as I hated to admit it Doctor Fang was really good. He came in and got the whole hospital moving. The staff was so happy to have him back they started jumping through hoops to try to make sure that he stayed. He had physical therapist up here at all hours of the night and doctors running extra test to rule out stuff. It was amazing the strings those leeches could pull. After a week Charlie was pulling himself up and his voice had stopped slurring as much as in the beginning. From what I was told that was nothing short of a miracle. Charlie was going to be okay. No, my worry was centered like my world around his daughter.

Three weeks and I had only seen her for moments a day. It was driving me crazy to not be with her and talk to her and hold her. I needed to just have some time alone with her but that seemed to be an impossibility right now.

First there was the fact that I promised not to leave Charlie until he went home and except for the few minutes that I could sneak away while he was sleep to check in with her I had to keep my word. I had tried to take a break and take her to do something fun but she had blown a lid when I showed up for more than two minutes. Bella had yelled and reminded me that I promised. She hadn't cared that Sam and Billy were there with Charlie she wanted me there to make sure everything was fine. I wasn't to feel happy that she only trusted me with her father but all I felt was rejected when she ran off with the rest of the bloodsuckers to go hunting.

And she had been doing that a lot lately. They were hunting like morning, noon and night. Almost every time I called they were in the woods looking for animals or a hiker so they could build up Bella's immunity to human blood. I was glad that she was learning to control herself but why couldn't I teach her? Why did she have to turn to them?

The worst part was the more time she spent with the broody one the further I felt her pull from me. I wasn't delusional. I knew that despite the fact that he hurt her she still loved him. I knew that in the beginning the idea of the two of us was a long shot but that was before I imprinted. Now the thought of her going back to him was painful; it was physically painful. It was like I couldn't breathe and someone had cut open a vein or something. Worse was I didn't know what could happen to a wolf if he lost his imprint but I also didn't want to find out.

I sat down in the chair outside Charlie's room. I knew Sam and Billy were in there trying to keep his spirits up. When he had first heard that Bella contacted Carlisle about coming to take care of him he had been convinced that she would show up right away to. But as the days turned into weeks and she hadn't come in his hope and his spirit had started to fall. I wanted to suggest that Bella at least call but I wasn't sure if that would help. It wasn't like she could tell him that she was only fifteen minutes away and she was coming right over and at this point I didn't think anything else would lift his mood.

I was coming to resent Charlie even though I knew it wasn't faIr but he was the reason that Bella was spending time with them instead of me. If he had never had the stroke then she would be out walking with me or hunting with me or just talking. Maybe we would be riding our bikes again. This time I would let her win just to see if she would want the same prize I had claimed.

I smiled and closed my eyes remembering the feel of her lips against mine. It had been pure heaven. It was like that kiss had re-enforced my reason for living. The pull that existed between us had wrapped around us in that moment and tightened its hold on my heart, mind and soul. I gave all of myself to her in that single act and I felt her give part of herself to me. The only problem was the part that she kept to herself, the part that was still his.

"Sleep?" I heard Sam's baritone voice next to me.

"No not really" I sat up and opened my eyes.

"Why don't you go home and get a few hours of real sleep." He was suggesting. "You haven't left this hospital except to see Bella since Charlie was brought here."

"I can't"

"Why not?" He asked. "Billy and I will stay and the leech doctor is around here somewhere. We'll keep an eye on Charlie."

"I promised Bella" I told him.

"That you wouldn't leave?"

"Yup" I nodded. "That first night she wanted to come here and I promised I wouldn't leave until Charlie went home so she would know someone was here with him."

"Jake" Sam smirked. "I don't think she meant for you to move in here."

"You didn't hear her when I went to take her out." I filled him in. "Let's just say that my Bella has a temper on her."

He was laughing. He was probably picturing Bella picking me up and throwing me in the stream surrounding the Cullen's house like she had promised to do if I didn't get back to the hospital.

"Listen" He looked at me. "I won't tell and Billy won't tell so go home and get a few hours of sleep and then you can come back."

"I can't break my word to her."

"Jake…"

"If you made a promise to Emily could I convince you to break it?" I asked him.

"No I guess not." He smiled a tight smile at me.

We were the only two of the pack that had found our imprints and although it was nice to have someone that understood the pull that I had to Bella it was still different. Sam had his Emily. They were together and planning to be married. He didn't have to worry about other men or physical differences. There was nothing to stop them from being together.

"So how is Bella doing?" Sam questioned. "Is she handling the change alright?"

"Yeah" I knew where this was going. "She's doing better now that their teaching her control."

"That's good" Sam was quiet for a time. "Are they planning on moving back for good then?"

"I don't know. We haven't talked about it."

"I see." Sam was quiet again but for a shorter time. "What about when they leave? Will she be going with them?"

"We haven't talked about that either." I didn't want to think about that possibility. I didn't want to think about what that would mean.

"Maybe you should" I could hear the wolf authority in his voice.

"Don't order me around about Bella." I stared at him. "You know that doesn't work with an imprint."

"I wasn't trying to give you an order Jake." Sam's voice went back to its normal tone. "Besides you know that doesn't work on you."

It was true. As the alpha wolf Sam had the ability to give a direct order in a tone where it had to be followed. It took all of our willpower and reduced you to nothing more than a shriveling foot soldier. We had learned early that his power didn't work on me. Ironically it was because of Bella that we found out. Sam had ordered me to stay away but when his voice dropped and the timbers roared I felt nothing. I shrugged it off and went to see her anyway. The best the elders could figure was that since my grandfather had been the last alpha that meant that I had alpha blood in me. Whether I wanted the position or not no other wolf could command me. My father had said that it was in preparation for the day that I would step up and assume alpha status. No one understood that I didn't want that. I didn't want any of this.

"Jake, I was just trying to help." Sam had obviously taken my silence to mean that I was angry. "The both of you are going to have to figure out where this relationship is going." He put his hand on my shoulder. "I wish I could help more but you're facing complications that I never had to face. Not that things were easy with Emily but there were no supernatural barriers between us. This might be too big to overcome."

"We will be fine" I growled. We had to be fine.

"Excuse me" I looked up to see Doctor Fang standing next to us. "I know that I'm not the most welcome person here but can I talk to you for a minute."

"Is it Charlie?" I stood. "Has something happened? Is he not doing as well as you thought?"

"No Charlie is fine." He smiled at us. "I actually have some questions about Bella."

"Bella?" I was confused and slightly alarmed. What if something had happened to her while I had been here? I would never forgive myself. "What could you need to know about Bella?"

"Well" He sat across from us. Not so close that the smell would be really strong but close enough that no one passing could hear our conversation. "She told us about the imprinting and I was simply curious as to how that works."

"Why?" I sat back down myself completely on edge now.

"Because according to Bella you can't go days without seeing her and lately I've noticed you becoming more and more agitated over the last few weeks with your limited access so I must confess that I'm worried." He opened. "Plus Bella hasn't quite been herself either. She hasn't become as short tempered as you apparently have but I have noticed a change in her mood. More sadness than aggression and when she thinks no one is looking her eyes wonder toward the forest lining our backyard."

I hadn't noticed but I also hadn't spent more than two minutes with her either. Now I was more than on edge. I could feel the pull that was Bella driving me to run from this hospital and straight to her. "Has she said anything?"

"Only that she's okay and that her mood has to do with Charlie but I get the feeling that it's not just Charlie." He explained. "I want to help her and you." He looked between Sam and I. "Believe it or not I hold no animosity toward either of you or the rest of the wolves. If anything I find your pack extremely interesting. But I understand that you hold myself and my family in contempt."

"The point is that as much as I would love to stay here for an indefinite amount of time it's not feasible." He pointed out. "My family has lived as normal a life as possible for us and at some point people would start to notice the lack of change with us. If we stay here for more than a year or two there will be talk and we would be forced to only come out at night and have no interaction with anyone. I don't think my family would handle that very well; especially Bella. She's so new and the transition has been so different for her that I think to add in that she couldn't go out during the day would only lead to her becoming angry and resentful which I'm sure none of us wants."

"However if separating you from Bella is going to have physical or psychological repercussions then I would like to know now so that I can begin looking for a way to help." He finished.

"Who says Bella has to go when you do?" I heard the anger in my voice. I hated the way that they simply assumed that Bella would want to be with them. Things were different now and she could just as easily want to stay and have nothing more to do with them. "Why can't she stay here with me?"

"There would be the same problem." He went on. "Bella isn't use to being stuck in a house for hours on end. She is use to going to school and having friends and being human. It takes years to learn how to adjust to our lifestyle."

Who did he think he was? Grand Bloodsucker or something. "I could help her."

"I know you want to but Jacob she's quite strong now." He was saying. "As it is if she were to really attack one of us it would take at least two maybe three of us to stop her."

"She's stronger than your average vampire?" Sam asked worry in his voice. I shot him an incredulous look. Was he on their side or something? Did he think I could handle Bella either?

"She still has her human blood in her body." He explained. "Until that wears off then she will be stronger than even Emmett if that gives you any idea."

"And how long does it take to wear off?" Again Sam asked.

"Usually about a year maybe more" He was looking at Sam now. "The diet of animal blood dilutes it faster but it will still be present until all the energy from it is spent. It is also what makes the draw to humans so potent that first few years. With the blood still in her system it is harder to resist."

"And yet you feel that she will be able to be around Charlie?" Now Sam looked really concerned.

"Yes if she keeps up with her training." He chuckled. "My son Jasper has almost a hundred years worth of experience with newborn vampires so he is very skilled in this area. Plus they have been running Bella across the country to hunt and to use up as much of her human blood as possible. It won't be gone entirely when Charlie goes home but it will be far less than a normal newborn at this stage."

"I see." Sam seemed to relax slightly.

"I've answered your questions. Would you do me the same curiously?" He was still looking at Sam apparently figuring he was getting more from him than me.

"What would you like to know?" Sam was giving him a chance. I couldn't believe this. Sam hated them more than me and yet here they were having a normal, civil conversation about my Bella. This was too much.

"If you could explain how the imprinting works that would be helpful."

"That isn't the easiest to do." Sam was shaking his head. "That is like asking how breathing work or gravity does; you know in theory but sometimes it's hard to explain."

"Could you try?" He pushed.

"It doesn't happen with every wolf" Sam began. "We don't know why that is but the legends tell that only a few come to their soul mates in this way. Out of our pack Jake and I are the only two that have experience it so far. But our history records that all but six wolves have imprinted in all the years that we have walked with the wolf."

"It's an instant connection to this person." Sam stuttered. "It's like when you see her something changes inside you and she becomes the center of your world. She is what is holding you to the earth. You would do anything for her; be anything that she needs. A brother, uncle, best friend, boyfriend, lover, it doesn't matter. You are whatever she needs until you can be together. The pull to her for us would be like the pull to blood for you, I guess. You can't not be with her. There is a story of one that tried but he to eventually gave in and joined himself with his imprint."

"But what of the woman?" His brows drew together. "Does something change for her to?"

"Yes" Sam was nodding. I looked at him shocked. I had not been told that part of the story. "She becomes more open to the prospect of us. The connection for her isn't as strong as for us but she knows that there is something different about her relationship with us. That there is a pull toward us and the emotions between us is higher than any normal relationship. It's like a spiritual connection. For some it has been said that verbal communication isn't needed after a time. From what my Emily has told me it was hard for her to stay away from me to."

"I see" I could almost see his mind working as he tried to come up with another question or an answer to this situation. "So if Bella were to leave with us then it would be very detrimental to both her and Jacob."

"I fear it would" Sam looked at me for the first time since their conversation started.

"And I don't suppose you would be open to the possibility of leaving with us?" Doctor Fang turned to me as well. "It would mean leaving your family and the other wolves and living with us."

I looked between the two of them. They were sitting here discussing this as if Bella had already made up her mind. Like she didn't have a choice in the matter. "She's not leaving."

"Jake…" Sam's hand was on my shoulder again.

"She's not leaving" I stood feeling my body start to shake. "I don't care what you two think. She wouldn't leave Charlie right now and she for damn sure wouldn't leave me." My control was slipping. "I know Bella and she isn't going to go off with the same people that left her all alone. The same person that broke her heart in a million pieces."

"Jacob" the doctor had risen from his seat, his focus on my arms that were shaking uncontrollably.

"No" I snarled back. "I will prove it to you." I looked at Sam who was also focused on the tremor going through my body. "I'll prove it to both of you."

I ran from them. I didn't care if I was running faster than normal I needed to get out of here. I needed to get to Bella. She wasn't going to choose him over me. She couldn't. Sam had said that something changed inside her to so that had to mean that she knew that we were supposed to be together. That was all there was to it. I would get to her and I would hold her and then we both would know. She would know that she belonged here with me.

* * *

_Carlisle POV_

I stood there with the leader of the wolves watching Jacob run from the building. I didn't doubt that he was going to Bella. I felt bad for him and for her. This wasn't going to be an easy decision for her to make. I knew that Edward had never stopped loving her and the more time that they were spending together it was becoming obvious that she still had feeling for him.

"Sam, can I ask one more question?"

"Yes" I could hear the concern and anxiety in his voice.

"What would happen if Bella chose not to be with Jacob?" I didn't want any of them hurt. "If she chose someone else?"

He drew a shallow breath. "There is one other story of such a situation. As I said the pull isn't as strong for the women and although it is unlikely they can decide not to be with us. It's rare. After all who can resist the heart's devotion that we express."

"But in this story were they both alright?"

"I don't know about the woman as these are wolf and tribal legends both, but the wolf was never the same." Sam eyes never left the spot where we had last seen his brother. "He became distraught and ran off in wolf form never to be seen again."

I didn't like the sound of that. "Can this imprinting happen again?"

"Can lightening strike the same place twice?" His shoulder rose and fell. "I don't know. For it to happen he would have to see someone else. Really see them and right now the only person he sees is her." He looked over at me. "I'm just afraid that he doesn't see the complications. That he doesn't see that this might not ever work."

"I understand."

"Thank you" He nodded. "For the record, we don't hold any hostility toward your family. It's impossible with Jakes feeling as they are and you looking after Bella and Charlie but our job is still to protect this town and our reservation."

"Thank you and I understand."

"If you need to stay the year or two for Bella and Charlie's sake then we will not force you to leave so long as you remain committed to the rules of the treaty but…" He paused. "As generous as your offer was I don't want Jake leaving with you. He belongs here and we wouldn't take kindly to watching him go."

I nodded. "It was just a suggestion."

He nodded also. "Now if you will excuse me I need to see after Jake."

"Of course." I motioned for him to follow and he did.

I stood there for a few seconds longer contemplating all that I had learned. This wasn't going to be easy on any of them. I could only hope that there was a resolution that wouldn't leave any of them broken. I didn't like to think of what might happen to Jacob if he lost Bella and I couldn't think of what would happen to Edward if he lost her either. But the person I was most worried for was Bella herself. Could she handle loosing either of them? Could her heart take it?

**AN: Hello all, sorry that I am posting a little later than usual but I had an appointment to get my laptop fixed and I don't even want to tell you the outcome of it :( . Let's just say that I am glad that my father has his computer downstairs and just happens to be out of town this week. At least I can play catch up.**


	14. Chapter 13: Gaining Control

_Disclaimer: If you don't know by now then you never will. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I'm just having fun._

_**Chapter Thirteen: GAINING CONTROL**_

_Alice POV_

Today had been a good day. We had taken Bella to a small village in Canada and she hadn't attacked anyone. We had been able to stay there for almost two hours before she needed to hunt. Sure we didn't go into any areas where there were a lot of people or where it was closed in, like the clothing store I had wanted to show her, but she had been able to walk through the streets like everything was normal.

I was so proud of her. She had really put her mind to this and it was paying off. I just wished that she wasn't so withdrawn. I had asked Jasper about it and he was completely confused. He said that he felt happiness from her but there was something blocking it. Almost as if something was holding her back from feeling her true joy. I had wondered if it was worry over Charlie but he had assured me that he could feel that but this was different.

I didn't like to think that it had anything to do with that mutt Jacob. It wasn't that he didn't seem nice as dogs went but she belonged with Edward. The last thing this family needed was to lose either of them again. I had seen Edward's plans if something were to happen to Bella in one of the scariest visions I had ever had and I knew that if he followed through with that it would destroy Carlisle not to mention the rest of us. Esme would be beside herself. I shook my head to clear that thought. Nothing was going to happen to Bella and Edward wasn't going to be making any sudden trips abroad without one of us to make sure he came back.

I hummed a light song in my head as we made our way back to the house. Edward looked past Emmett to me and I had to smile. He always thought that when I started singing to myself I was blocking him. It would surprise him to know just how many times I was singing just because I liked the song. Maybe one day I would tell him but where would the fun be in that. I liked keeping him on his toes.

I let my mind wonder as the song played on repeat. I thought about shopping trips Bella and I could take in the future. I thought about all the ways that we could really bond as sisters. I saw one vision that had Rosalie with us and she and Bella were actually laughing together. I was glad. Things had been touchy after Bella had jumped on her but it looked as if they were going to work themselves out in the future.

I didn't like the fact that most of my visions of Bella lately had been fuzzy. Like they were jagged at the edge. That could only mean one thing; that they weren't set in stone. True no vision was always accurate. People changed their minds all the time. A spit second choice to go left instead of right could alter a whole lifetime. Almost like if Edward had skipped biology that first day like he had originally thought about doing. He never would have met Bella and she wouldn't be here now.

I could only hope that these fuzzy visions didn't have anything to do with……I breathed deep. My mind started to swirl as new visions were flooding through me. I felt my knees give way but Jasper had his arms around me before I could touch the ground. I could hear them calling to me, voice after voice, but I couldn't speak. This was one of the strongest set of visions I had gotten since I first started getting them when I first woke up a vampire.

Suddenly my head cleared and I could see what my mind had been trying to block out. I gasped. This couldn't be. I searched for the rest but he was the only one. I tried to search his future to see if I could see them all but nothing. There was still some fuzziness to these pictures but he was as clear as day or at least a Forks day which still was quite cloudy.

"Alice?" Jasper's voice came back to me slowly. "Alice are you okay?"

I wanted to answer but I need to know something first. I had to know that I wasn't losing my mind. "Did you see?" I looked toward Edward.

"I did" He looked just as startled and confused as I felt. "What does it mean?"

"I don't know" I couldn't answer him. I didn't have any answers for myself. "We need to reach Carlisle."

"I agree" Edward was pulling out his phone to give him a call.

"What happened?" Jasper's worried face covered mine.

"I had a vision" I told him. "It was really intense but the biggest thing was" I looked to Bella. "I saw Jacob."

"What?" She was staring at me.

"I saw him heading toward the house determined to see you." I told her.

"Charlie" She said and then took off running.

"Go after her Emmett" I directed him. "Let her know that it has nothing to do with Charlie."

"Got it." He took off after her. I probably should have sent Edward with him being the fastest of us but he was busy explaining what had happened to Carlisle.

"Okay he is going to try to met us back at the house but right now he is check on Charlie and arranging more therapy for him." Edward filled us in as he closed his phone.

"Did he have any idea way she could see the dog?" Jasper was asking.

"No" Edward shook his head. "The only thing he could think of was the fact that Alice becomes more sensitive to people the more time she spends with them and he has been around quite a bit."

"But that wouldn't explain why I couldn't see him with the other wolves." I was worried this had more to do with Bella then with me.

"So am I" Edward responded to my thoughts.

"Give her time Edward" I reassured him.

"How much more time Alice?" He was running a hand through his hair. "Should I wait until she falls in love with that mutt or until they've decided to get married? How much time is enough?" He asked running off in the opposite direction from the house.

"He really isn't handling this well" I said coming to my feet.

"Who would?" Jasper helped. "I can't say that I would be any better if there was some other guy that thought he had a claim to you."

"No" I agreed. "I guess I wouldn't be all that happy about it either if it was you."

"What do you see happening?" He was asking.

"I don't know" Which frustrated me "For so long I've seen Bella with Edward but with these new visions that's changed. One will show her with him and another with show her with the dog. I think there's something missing. Some part of the puzzle that hasn't been decided yet."

"Like maybe Bella herself?"

"Maybe" I scrunched up my nose. "All of the visions are fuzzy so that can only mean that there's a chance for change. I just wish I knew what that change was going to be. I hate see Edward so hurt."

"So do I" He kissed my temple and wrapped his arm around me. "Let's go home."

"Alright" I let him lead me back to the house trying to see what we would find there as we went.

* * *

_Jacob POV_

I had to get to Bella. I had to prove them wrong. All of them, Sam, Billy, Carlisle, they didn't know what they were talking about. Bella wouldn't leave me. She couldn't leave me. I didn't care what they said or how much they thought we couldn't work this out. She was my heat, my soul mate, I couldn't, wouldn't lose her.

I pushed myself faster than before. I had to stop by the reservation to find new clothes which had slowed me down but I didn't think Bella or the rest of the bloodsuckers would appreciate my showing up naked. Besides the first time Bella saw me naked I wanted it to be just the two of us. I wanted it to be in love and commitment. I wanted to know that she was mine, just mine, forever.

I rushed through the trees almost there when I heard her. "Jake?" She was yelling for me. How had she known I was coming? "Jake, where are you?" Her voice sounded strained, scared. My heart pounded out of my chest. I forgot about my state of dress and rushed to her changing back along the way.

"Bella?" I was still running when I saw her. She spun around and ran toward me leaping into my arms. I didn't want to think about what could have happened to have her trembling like this. She felt like me before the change.

"Bella, baby, what's wrong?" I rubbed her back pulling her closer to me. "What happened?" I prayed that she hadn't taken a life. I wasn't sure that I could bring her back from something like that. I knew that it would weigh heavy on her if she had but I would try my best not to judge her. I would just love her and make sure that I was with her from now on to protect her from doing it again.

"What happened with Charlie?" She didn't answer my question but asked her own.

"Charlie?" Did something happen with Charlie after I left?

"Alice had a vision of you rushing to see me." She explained. "Did something happen with Charlie?"

"No, Charlie's fine." I let her know.

"Then why are you here?" She pulled back to look at me. "Why were you so determined to get to me in her vision?"

"How did she see me? I thought she couldn't see us?"

"For some reason she saw you." Bella was looking into my eyes. "Just you."

"Just me" What did that mean?

"Yeah" She shrugged. "You're sure Charlie is alright?"

"Bella?" I heard the big one calling for her right before he came into view. "Man, you're fast. You're like Edward fast. I'm not even sure he could catch you." He looked over at the two of us. "Woaw, didn't mean to interrupt." He was averting his eyes. "I'll be inside."

I looked around wondering what could be wrong with him when I saw Bella look down and her eyes widen. I followed her gaze remembering that I had forgotten to change.

"Sorry" I covered myself and backed up. "I'll go change in the woods and be right back."

"Don't be silly Jake." She put her hand on my shoulder. "I've seen you naked before."

"Excuse me?" I racked my brain trying to remember an occasion when I would have been naked in front of her.

"Remember that summer when Charlie convinced me to come back." She was trying to jog my memory. "It's blurry for me now but I think we were out swimming at First Beach and we had to change before going back to your place. So we ducked behind a tree and both changed in front of the other."

"Bella, you were like eight which would mean that I was like six" I remembered the experience. "Things have changed a little since then."

"Of course they have but you don't have to be shy around me." She was laughing. "And you don't have to change in the woods. Just go up to my room. There's a shower in there and everything."

"Trying to tell me I stink?" I joked.

"No more than usual but like you I've learned to manage." She quipped back.

"I don't know Bells" I eyed the back door to that house wearingly.

"Look you promised that you would try to get along with them and they have been trying to be polite to you so go upstairs and change and then we can talk." She was pulling my arm toward the house.

"You're not mad at me for leaving the hospital?"

"Jake I didn't want you living there." She smirked. "I admit that the last time you were here I went a little overboard." She looked sheepish. "But that was almost two weeks ago and Charlie's doing much better now. So I guess you don't have to be there every minute of the day."

"Thanks, Bells" I sighed thinking of what Sam had said earlier. "It would be nice to sleep in a bed for a change."

"Oh Jake" She rubbed my arm. "I'm sorry." She pulled me even closer to the house. "Go upstairs right this minute and take a shower. Third floor, first door on the left."

"You're sure?"

"Jake" Her voice held a note of scolding.

"Bella?" I heard a high pitched voice. "Did Emmett catch you before….oh." The short one came to a halt at the edge of the trees. The blond guy that she was always with bumped into her but once his eyes found me he seemed to understand.

"I'll just go" I ran back into the trees picking up my clothes quickly and I ran into the house not needing to stand there while two more leeches saw me. I rounded a corner and realized this wasn't going to be my day.

Sitting in the front room were the other two females. Great, I thought. All I need now was for Edward to walk in.

"Um" The mom looked lost for words.

"Bella said I could use her room to change." I told them.

"I see…I mean…Um…" She was shaking her head while the other one just looked with a combination of interest and revulsion. "Upstairs, third floor."

"Thanks, she already told me." I moved even fast to the steps and headed up.

"No wonder she's having a hard time deciding" I heard the younger one say with a laugh. "I might be willing to get over the smell for that."

"Rose" The other's voice raised.

"I'm simply saying." I tried to tune them out. I didn't want to think about any bloodsuckers looking at me that way except for Bella.

I was almost to the door when I heard the high pitched one again. "Did you see him?" She sounded excited.

"Of course" I couldn't tell which female that was but I had an idea it was the young one.

"Oh my God" the excited voice came again. "Too bad he's a werewolf. That might be worth a test drive."

"Alice" I could hear Bella's voice but it was mingled with a male's.

"Sorry but built is built."

"And that boy is built."

I opened the door heading for the bathroom. Turning on the water I let myself try to relax and forget that I was in a home with six vampires. The rest of the pack would not like this. I went through Bella's room noticing that it had some of her touches to it. I could see her books on the shelf and the bear that I had won for her when the fair came through town a few months ago. There were clothes on the chair in the corner and the blanket that her grandmother had left her at the foot of the bed.

I tried to imagine living here with Bella like the doctor had suggested. Could I leave my family and the pack to travel with the bloodsuckers for the woman I love? I knew Billy would hate it. Sam and the others would try their best to talk me out of it but it was preferable to not seeing her ever again.

There was the other problem of age. I wasn't aging now but once I gained the control needed to stop shifting I would. Bella would be stuck at eighteen for eternity. Did I really want to never quit being a wolf just so I could be with her forever? Could I do it even if I wanted to?

There were so many obstacles I thought as I let the water run over me. Sam and the doctor had been right but fate had put us together. It had given me the girl of my dreams. I couldn't turn my back on that. Bella was everything I had ever wanted even before I had imprinted. Even when we were kids I always thought of us together. She was perfect.

I turned off the water and pulled on my cut off jeans. I didn't want to go back down there right away. I wasn't sure if they were still talking about me but just the thought made me sick. I guess I'm going to have to get use to it. I wasn't letting Bella go and that would mean that I was going to have to get use to being here or wherever they were.

I laid down on the bed. Wow it was comfortable. I didn't know if it was just better because it was bigger than my twin sized bed or because I hadn't been in a real bed in weeks. My eyes closed and before I knew it I was sleep.

I'm not sure how long I slept but when I woke up Bella was sitting in the chair. "Whatcha reading?"

"Wuthering Heights" She told me putting the book down. "You ready to talk now?"

"Come here" I reached for her.

"Why?"

"Just get over here." I rolled my eyes. She stood up and walked toward me. I pulled her onto the bed next to me wrapping my large arm around her.

"Jake" She struggled against me but not that hard obviously not wanting to hurt me. I had to laugh at the thought.

"Relax Bells" I kissed her neck and she stopped moving. I pulled her closer to my body closing my eyes and letting my mind wonder. "Promise we will always be like this?"

"Jake, don't" Her voice was quiet but I heard the doubt there and felt the piecing that one moment did to my heart.

"Just promise we will always be important to each other?" I settled. "Promise that you will always want me around?"

She didn't say anything for so long that I started to worry. Had I lost her already? Was Sam right?

"I promise" It was barely audible but I heard it.

I kissed the top of her head and snuggled close to her. Yeah, I could get use to this; was the last thought I had before I drifted back to sleep.

**AN: Well that is it for this week; I think (hahahaha). I hope you all have a great weekend and don't forget to review. Even if you want to review as two or three or sixteen different people that is quite alright :). See ya soon.**


	15. Chapter 14: Loosing Faith

_Disclaimer: If you don't know by now then you never will. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I'm just having fun._

_**Chapter Fourteen: LOOSING FAITH**_

_Edward POV_

I know it was in-mature to run off like that but I just couldn't watch Bella with him anymore. I know that he is trying to help and that they are friends but does she have to be so close to him? Every time he shows up she runs for him and when he's not around she's different. I try to act like I don't notice that she's sad or looking toward the trees that he always comes through. I don't want to think that she loves him or that I've lost her for good but the more time that goes by the worse I feel.

I know it was me that left. I was the one that told her to find someone else. That I wouldn't come back, that it would be like I hadn't existed. But this was different. I didn't think that Alice's vision of Bella becoming a vampire would still come true without us here. I never hoped that I would have the chance at forever with her. This wasn't the way that I wanted it. I wanted everything to revolve around her human life not my vampire one.

I wanted Bella to be able to grow old. I wanted her to have children and grandchildren and a husband that adored her. I just wanted that man to be me. For the first time in a hundred years I could see myself as a father. I had wanted all those things with Bella but since I couldn't have that I had settled for wanting them for her.

But that wasn't going to happen now. She wasn't going to grow old or ever age. There would be no children or grandchildren so was it so wrong to still want to be the husband that adored her. To still want to be the man that she spent every day with and that loved her unconditionally and without reservation. Because that was who I was. No matter what happened that was who I would always be.

I couldn't stay out here forever I thought as I turned to head back home. I was hoping he would be gone by the time I got back. That was one good thing about the last three weeks. Because of his promise to Bella he hadn't been staying long when he came by. It was a quick update and then gone. It was great and on top of that I was spending more time with Bella while we got her ready for Charlie coming home. Between the two I had began to think that there might be a chance but then today with her running off to see him again my dormant heart had crashed down.

_Those abs_, I could hear Rosalie's thoughts as I came into range of the house, _my God there almost as big as Emmetts._

Who was she talking about? It wasn't like Rose to fantasize about anyone other than Emmett and the occasional movie star but she was having visions of licking whip cream off someone's stomach. I quickly tuned her out. I went searching through my families minds to see if the dog was still around.

_No wonder Bella keeps hugging him_, this from Alice, _man he has to be as hard as we are._

She couldn't be talking about the mutt, could she? I searched for Esme hoping to hear what I was looking for.

_Poor dear_, Esme was feeling sorry for someone_, I know he doesn't like us and then to have everyone see him without his clothes. That had to be so embarrassing._

My jaw dropped as my feet stopped. Could my sisters really be taking about Jacob? I didn't want to believe it. They were actually thinking sexual thoughts about a werewolf. What the hell was going on?

_I could still take him_, Emmett was playing with his video games, _and Rose likes me naked_. _I should show her now. We could go upstairs and maybe she would wear that red thing with the straps._ I got out of his mind before he started pulling visual pictures to go along with his words.

_Why is Alice so turned on? It can't be because of that hound_. Jasper was not happy about this situation. _I don't like it but I could take advantage of it._

Man, was my family nothing but a bunch of over sexed kids? I should have stayed out longer. I thought about running back when I saw Bella sitting on the back swing. She was looking up at the stars and I couldn't control my feet as they made their way over to her.

"Hi" She acknowledged me without moving her head.

"Hi" I sat beside her. "Was everything alright with Charlie?"

"Yeah" She sighed. "I overreacted."

"That's okay." I assured her even though I didn't love the fact that she still smelled like wet dog. "It's your father. I think you're supposed to overreact."

I saw a smile grace her face but she didn't stop looking up. "You know I haven't looked at the stars in months." She said after a few minutes of silence.

"Why?" That was one of her favorite things to do.

"You."

"Me."

"Yes" she finally looked away. "After you left I didn't want to do anything that reminded me of you. Music, stars, the forest, nothing that would make me think of you." My heart was ripping apart. This was why I had lost her. "It hurt too much to remember."

"Bella, I'm…"

"You don't have to apologize anymore Edward." She wasn't looking at me and I so wanted to be able to see into her eyes. "You don't love me. It's taken months to get to the point where saying that doesn't hurt. Where I don't feel like my chest is about to burst open."

I wanted to tell her how wrong she was but in that moment I felt more than ever I didn't deserve her. I had hurt her to the point where she had abandoned all of her favorite things just so that she wouldn't have to think of me. What kind of person does that and then comes back to say that it had all been a lie?

"But I'm glad that you're here." She smiled at me. "I'm glad that with everything we can still be friends. Forever would be horrible without you in my life."

It was on my tongue to say. One minute more and I would have confessed everything but Carlisle came home right then.

_Edward I need to speak with you privately_, he was thinking as he walked in the door. _I think I have an idea as to why Alice could see Jacob and some information about Bella to._

I didn't want to leave Bella but if Carlisle had some insight then I needed to see him. "Are you going to be here for awhile?" I wanted to finish this conversation.

"I don't know" She shrugged. "I guess it depends on how long Jake sleeps."

My mind stopped working. She could…he wasn't….was he here? I scanned the thoughts going on in the house and found some rather disturbing images of Bella with him inside one of the minds. "He's here?"

"Yeah" She looked down and I could swear if she was still human she would be blushing. "There was a little bit of embarrassment earlier and I let him use the shower in my room. When I went to check on him he was out cold on the bed and I didn't have the heart to wake him."

"I see" This didn't exactly help my mood. "Well if you're here I would love to continue this conversation but if not then later?"

"Sure" She smiled at me again then turned her head back to the stars.

I walked directly to Carlisle's office. "What is it Carlisle?" I didn't mean to be short with him but the idea that she had let that mutt sleep in her bed was making me want to take her far from here so that he couldn't get this close to her ever again.

_I spoke to Sam, the leader of the wolf pack, and Jacob today and I found out some information about this imprinting that I think might be why Alice can see Jacob but none of the other pack_, He was filling me in on what Sam had shared with him. The more he went into the conversation the worse I felt.

"Bella has changed?" I asked taking a seat. "Is there no hope?"

_I don't know son_, he had his hand on my shoulder. _Sam only knew of one other instance where a woman rejected the wolf that imprinted on her._

"And?"

_He didn't know how the woman handled it but apparently the wolf didn't do so well_, he sat down in the chair next to me. _Edward I know this isn't anything you want to hear but you might have to accept that Bella won't be able to walk away from him._

"So I should just give up?" I couldn't fathom it.

_I'm not saying that but you are going to have to get use to him being in her life. Maybe it doesn't have to be a romantic relationship._ He reasoned. _Sam mentioned that with the imprint the wolf becomes whatever she need of him. It's possible that they could always remain just friends._

"That's not exactly what he was saying." I had heard the whole conversation in his head. "He said that they were whatever she needed until the time that they could be together. He was speaking as if it was inevitable."

_I don't think that is the case with Bella_

"You don't think or you hope?"

_Both_, he comforted me. _All those women that Sam were speaking of where mortal women. Bella is different. There has never been a vampire that has been in love with a wolf or vice versa. I believe that can be a deciding factor. Especially when the pull that you two have is just as strong._

"How do you know that?" I wanted to believe him but I wouldn't be able to handle it if I got my hopes up only to be let down.

_Because I have experience vampire love and so have you,_ he smiled. _You must remember how it felt that first moment that you realized you loved Bella. It might not be like the werewolves imprinting but it is a strong tie that binds you to that person._

_Think about all the time that you spent away_, he continued. _Think of how hard it was not to be with her and from what I have heard from Alice and the way Bella described her time apart from you to Rosalie it doesn't sound as if she fared any better than you did._

_You know as well as I do that when we mate it is for eternity and I believe that even though Bella was human when it happened there is still a chance that it was just as strong for her to._ He looked firmly at me. _Given those things I believe that there is every reason to hope. _

_If Bella felt for you the same as you felt for her and if it was as strong as vampire mating then it was before Jacob imprinted on her and you could have a chance._

It made sense. I had seen all of my family find their mates in a matter of minutes with the exception of Alice and Jasper. But Alice had woken to this life with an image of Jasper in her mind and he has said many times that it only took one look for him to know that Alice was his future. Could this mean that all isn't lost? Can our true love win out over their wolf legends?

"If that is true Carlisle, what do I need to do?" Whatever it was I would do it.

_I think you just need to let her know how you feel and let her decide. It won't be easy and she could choose him but at least she wouldn't be doing it because she thought you didn't love her._

He was right. I needed to share myself with her. I stood to leave but he put a restraining hand on my arm.

_There is also what happened earlier with Alice_. _I think that she can see him because of his ties to Bella. Which could mean that the bond between them is getting stronger; so if you are going to say something I wouldn't wait._

I nodded my understanding. "Was that all?"

_No but I don't think you are going to like the last thing._ I sat back down waiting for him to continue.

_This is something that we need to discuss as a family but since it concerns both you and Bella the most I wanted to share it with the both of you first._

"Okay"

_I told Jacob that should the need arise he was welcome to travel and live with us. _

I looked at him wanting this to be a joke but I could tell from the look on his face that he was serious. "You can't mean that?"

_Edward you've seen how Bella has been over the last few weeks_, he went on. _If there is a physical or psychological reason that they need to be together then we have no other choice. I care about her as a daughter and I won't watch her saddened or worse all because of a feud that doesn't need to exist. _

_We are not like other vampires and I believe the pack understands that. They don't trust us but they recognized the differences. _ He obviously had put a lot of thought into this. _Pride aside, would you be willing to watch Bella go through any kind of pain or loss just to keep him away?_

I wanted to say yes but the thought of Bella hurting caused physical pain to shoot up my body. There was no way that I could stand back and watch when there was a way to help her.

"But could he be here every day if she didn't choose him?"

_I don't know_, he shrugged, _and it might be a moot point anyway. Sam wasn't happy about it and that was when Jacob ran off to find Bella. He may turn down the offer or the pack might convince him to stay but I just wanted you to know first._

"Thank you Carlisle." I heard movement on the floor above us and knew that Jacob must be up so Bella wouldn't still be down stairs. "I'll be in my room thinking."

_Understood_

I closed his office door and made my way to the third floor. Bella's door was closed which didn't make me happy but I also wouldn't have been happy looking in and seeing them together. I started to go out for a run but I wasn't in the mood so I turned to my room and closed the door behind me.

I turned on Clare de Lune softly and laid back on my couch. I let my eyes close and thought of the first time I heard this with Bella. I had been driving her home after she had almost fainted from the blood typing they were doing in biology. That had been right after I realized my feeling for her. After I had gone to her room and heard her call out to me in her sleep.

What I wouldn't give for one of those glimpses into Bella's mind right now. To hear her call for me in her sleep or to hold her next to me during the night. It had been months since I had been able to spend a night with her like before. Sure we had hunted during the night but it wasn't the same. I wasn't able to feel her hair brush up against my chin or her lips press light kisses on my shoulder. I couldn't hear the thoughts that went through her mind unfiltered.

"Jake" I could hear Bella's voice float down to my room. I didn't want to but I focused in on the dog's thoughts and saw her struggling against him playfully while they were laying in bed laughing. She looked so happy which was all I ever wanted for her.

"Relax Bells" He was kissing her neck as she settled in next to him. I had never wanted to rip someone apart more than watching that. "Promise we will always be like this?"

"Jake, don't" I knew that sound. She didn't want to commit to him. I sat up as my hope was restored.

"Just promise we will always be important to each other?" _She doesn't want to promise me forever._ I could hear his thoughts. _Can I live with settling for less?_ "Promise that you will always want me around?"

_She's not saying anything_, doubt was setting in. I took some pleasure in hearing he wasn't so sure of himself. _Have I lost her? Is she not saying anything because she has decided to forgive that leech? I can't lose her. Not to him; not again._

I was enjoying the way his thought were lining up in my favor. Apparently he wasn't so sure of this imprinting thing either.

"I promise" It was barely audible but I heard it and with that I lost all thought.

She promised. She promised him forever. I might as well head off to Italy right now. With those two words she was gone.

_Will you stop?_ Alice's voice came to me. _She didn't promise forever so I don't know why you are planning your own demise. You have to be the biggest drama king in the history of the world._

_She only promised that she would always want him around but the visions I'm getting are of the three of you._ She showed me a vision that was blurry but it was the three of us running through the woods. We all looked happy but Bella was holding my hand and Jacob didn't look upset at all.

Was it possible that I could be friends with him? That if Bella chose me he would be able to be happy for us? According to Alice's vision it was.

I smiled to myself holding on to that vision as if it was gold. I would try my best to be nice to him and to let Bella know that my love for her never left and with any luck that would be one future I could make come true.

**AN: Almost to the end, everyone. I know that this hasn't been the most received story I've ever written but it has been fun to read all the comments, especially you lilmissfireball, who can't stand Jacob but has stuck it out for me. You guys have kept me going and I thank you for that. So don't stop now. Review, Review, Review!!**


	16. Chapter 15: Heart's Truth

_Disclaimer: If you don't know by now then you never will. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I'm just having fun._

_**Chapter Fifteen: HEART'S TRUTH**_

_Bella POV_

I looked over at Jake sleeping in my bed. It had been a week since he had first started sleeping here. At first there had been looks and small comments but after a few days everyone just seemed to accept him as part of the group. I didn't think they saw him as family but I didn't think they saw him as the enemy anymore either. He played video games with Emmett while teasing Rosalie mercilessly. Alice complained that he needed a better wardrobe than cut off shorts and decided that once Charlie was out of the hospital she was going to see about taking him shopping for some of those tear away pants like the sports players wear. Esme loved having someone to cook for in the house and although the first day or two Jake refused he eventually gave in and last night told me what a great cook Esme was. He even called her Esme without my having to prompt it.

But the biggest change was his relationship with Edward. I'm not sure who is trying to befriend who or if they are just playing nice because they both want me to see but it's like they have become best friends. Edward invited him to join us on a trip to a small town in South Dakota to test my limits. Jake actually hung out in Edward's room going through music. I even caught them laughing at some private joke. It was unnatural but I had to admit I liked it.

They were both the most important people in my life next to my parents and I was enjoying seeing them relaxed around each other. The only drawback was that it only served to make me more confused.

It was easy to lean on Jake when everything first happened. Edward was back and things were so awkward between us. I didn't want to confuse him or make him think that just because I was changed I assumed that we would be together. Then we started hanging around each other again and it was so easy to fall back into those old feelings. They were still there just as strong as ever but now there was Jake to consider.

He's my oldest friend and I would have been a nut case if it hadn't been for him being there over the last few months. If it wasn't for this imprinting there would be nothing to consider. I would jump at the chance to have some kind of future with Edward but I wasn't sure Jake could recover from that. How do you survive losing your soul mate? I hadn't. At least I hadn't without any help.

Still there were things to consider. I wasn't going to age and Jake was. He would get older and eventually start to resent me for holding him back and what about children? He was the descendant of tribe leaders. It would be assumed that even if he didn't want to be the alpha of the pack he would have to produce a son to take over after his generation. Another alpha to lead the way. I wouldn't be able to give that to him.

The bottom line was that he deserved more than what I was capable of. He deserved a wife that could grow old with him and give him children. He deserved a wife that could love him unconditionally, just him, and that was something I could never promise. Because I knew as surely as the sun would rise that part of me would always love Edward. It didn't matter whether he loved me or wanted me there would always be something inside me that belonged to him.

So how fair was it to let Jake hope? To keep him in my life just because I didn't want to lose his friendship or because it was comfortable and easy? If things were different and I had met him first or he had imprinted on me before I knew there was an Edward then maybe. I smiled seeing the future that could have been before us. Him as the proud leader of the tribe running through the forest in his cut offs with our dark haired son on his shoulders laughing. Our daughter nestled in the crook of my arm as I sat on the porch waiting for them to return. Her brown eyes looking around anxiously waiting for her father to come pick her up and swing her around in the air before leaning down to drop a light but passionate kiss on my lips.

We would have had laughter and fun. There probably never would have been an argument between us. We could spend Thanksgiving with Billy and Christmas with Charlie. The kids would spend the summers by the beach in Florida with Renee. It would have been a good life filled with all those things that Edward thought I needed. But one twist of fate changed all that and I couldn't change back.

I had to tell him. I had to let him know that I wasn't ready for that kind of relationship, that I might never be ready. I had to set him free so that he could find a woman that could give him all the things that I couldn't. But would he go?

I had tried to get him to understand the first day that I had woken up a vampire but he had insisted that we could work things out. That had been before I let him kiss me. Before I spent a night in his arms. Now there might be no way of convincing him to move on.

And what about when we move? For three months there hasn't been a day that has gone by without us spending some time together except for when I was changing and he hadn't handled that so well. And as much as I didn't want to tell the Cullens I had felt like something was missing during those first weeks Charlie was in the hospital. It had felt like a part of myself was gone but then he would show up with reports of Charlie's condition and I would feel better. It didn't make sense but it made me wonder if there was more to this imprinting thing than I had thought. Could we physically not be apart? And if so then would he be willing to give up his life here just to follow me around without being the man in my life?

What if he was? The Cullens were being nice now but would they be will to let him live with us? They had no love loss for the wolves. Could they live with one under their roof? Would he be okay if Carlisle or Esme tried to tell him what to do? And what about Edward? What if we were to get back together, could Jake handle seeing me with him? Listening to us share a room while he slept down the hall. Would I be comfortable with that?

There were too many questions and not enough answers. Too bad I didn't know the future. I paused thinking of the one person I knew who might not know the future but had a better guess than I did. I tip toed out of the room and down to Alice.

"Come in Bella" Her cheery voice greeted me before I raised my hand to knock.

"I know eventually that won't trip me out but right now it still does." I was shaking my head as I walked in.

"You'll get use to it." She shrugged. "You have questions?"

"Why don't you just tell me the answers Alice instead of making me go through all the hoops?"

"Because I only saw you coming to ask me questions" She informed. "I didn't see what those questions would be."

"Really?"

"Really" She looked offended. "Honestly Bella I wouldn't lie to you." She smiled sheepishly. "Okay I would but only for your own good and only in regards to shopping."

I chuckled. "Thanks Alice."

"No problem" She was flipping through a magazine. "So your questions?"

"Alice can you still see Jake's future?"

"Yes but it's not as clear as everyone else's and it's not clearing up." She huffed. "Normally as I get use to seeing someone's future it clears up but not his. I don't know why."

"Can you see him happy?" I really needed her to say yes.

"It depends" She stopped looking through the magazine and sat up to really look at me. "Sometimes I see him and he looks like everything is great and other times he's so miserable that I have to shut my eyes to get out of the vision."

That wasn't want I wanted to hear at all. "Can you see him with me?"

"No" She shook her head. "But that could be because you haven't decided to be with him." She let me know. "I can only see a person's path after they have made a decision. So until you decide that he is who you want then I can't see whether you two will be together or not and how that will affect him."

I sighed. "But even without seeing us together you can see him happy?"

"Sometimes" she reached for my hands. "Bella I wish that I could give you an answer to whether he will be alright if you chose not to pursue a relationship with him but I can't until you decide that you're not. And even then it still might change. His decisions play a part in this too."

"What do you mean?"

"You can decide that you just want to be his friend and I can see the two of you as friends but it will be blurry or fuzzy until he decides the same thing." She closed her eyes. "Right now all I see is that he wants to be with you. Every decision revolves around you."

"Can you see him living with us?" I asked. "As a family?"

"Yes" She opened her eyes and smiled. "I never thought I would see the day that I would see a wolf living with a set of vampires but I can see it. And I can see him being happy here but again for him that depends on you."

"I wish I could show you." Her face was all scrunched up. "I have never seen a mind like this. It's like he can't make a decision without thinking of you. You are in everything that he does; everything that he sees. I would say normally he would never consider living with us but with you here it's like he doesn't see another choice."

"That doesn't help Alice" I whined.

"I know but it's true."

"Can you see me with….with…." I couldn't ask.

"Edward?" she finished for me as I nodded. "No" She wasn't providing any of the answers I had been hoping to find. "But again that has more to do with you not deciding then with him. I know his decision. All that's waiting is yours."

"I don't suppose you'll share?"

She laughed. "I do love you Bella, but no. That is a conversation that the two of you need to have."

"I hate this" I shared with her. "I feel like whatever I do someone is going to get hurt."

"Maybe, but maybe not" She was trying to help. "Bella you know both of them better than anyone and you also know yourself. Just listen to your heart and everything will be fine."

"I just don't want to end up alone or for Jake to end up alone either."

"And Edward?"

I smirked at that question. "I guess I don't want him to end up alone either but…."

"You want him to end up with you?" She pushed.

"I don't know anymore?" I answered honestly. "I try to see my future with Edward and I can't. It's like there's something blocking it. But then I try to see my future with Jake and I can but only if I was still human."

"Alice I can see our kids and our house and growing old with him but that isn't how things are anymore" I shrugged. "When I try to see a future with him now then I don't get anything. Which leads to me thinking that I'm going to end up alone."

"You're not going to end up alone." Alice squeezed my hands. "Bella trust your instincts. You know what you want and you know what you need to do. You are a strong confident woman. I mean think about it." She smiled at me. "You think just anyone could have thrown Rosalie across the room and then gotten her to apologize for what she said in the first place?"

"That was pretty funny."

"Are you kidding that was hilarious" She was laughing as she curled back up on her bed. "Even if I had seen that coming I don't think I would have been able to stop it because I would have been laughing too hard to say anything."

"Alice that's not nice" But I was laughing with her.

"Just relax and have faith that everything will work it's self out." She tapped her head. "Trust me."

I narrowed my eyes at her. "You wouldn't be holding anything back from me would you?"

She shrugged but said nothing. "Alice?" If she didn't answer I was going to throw her threw a room and see how funny she thought that was.

"Hey" She scolded. "I saw that and it wasn't very nice."

"I know you did" I stood and dropped a light kiss on her pixie head. "I meant for you to just so you know what could happen if you hold back on me." I closed her down and heard her laughter all the way back to my room.

I walked in to see an empty bed. I looked around but there was no Jake. I tried to listen for him in the house but I didn't hear anything that sounded like him. I panicked. What if he heard my conversation with Alice? What if Edward heard it? I hadn't been thinking. I should have taken her into the woods or at the very least outside. It would have been harder for anyone to listen then. How could I have been so stupid?

Just then the door to the bathroom opened and Jake came walking out. "Hey baby." He smiled as he walked over to give me a hug.

"What were you doing?" I asked with some worry in my voice.

"I was taking a shower." He looked down at me. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah" I pasted a smile on my face and slowed down my breathing. "It's just when I didn't see you I thought maybe something happened and you left."

"I wouldn't leave without saying goodbye, you know that."

"You're right" I laughed it off. "I do."

He was still staring at me. "You sure you're alright?"

"I'm fine"

"Okay" He let me go. "I need to check in with Sam and I figure I would go by the hospital and see how Charlie is doing. If everything goes right he should be ready to come home in the next couple of weeks."

"I know" I closed my eyes. Just one more thing to worry about.

"Are you going to be ready by then?"

"I have to be."

"Bella…"

"Jake, I have to be." I walked over to look out the window. "I haven't seen him in over a month. He's been hurt and in the hospital and I haven't been there. How am I going to explain that to him?"

"You're going to tell him the truth" Jake had walked up behind me and had his arms around my waist.

"You can't be serious." I turned to look at him. "There is no way that I can tell him the truth."

"Maybe not the complete truth but you can still tell him the truth."

"How?"

"You tell him you needed time." He was holding my face in his hands. "You tell him that you wanted nothing more than to rush to his side when you heard what happened but you couldn't and for that you will always be sorry but you did what you could. You sent me and Carlisle and you kept up on his progress until you could be with him again."

"And you think that he will accept that?"

"Of course he will" he leaned in a placed a kiss on my forehead. "He'll accept it because you're his daughter and he loves you. That's his truth."

"I love you Jake." The words came out without thought or sensor. I knew that he might take them wrong but in that moment they needed to be said.

He smiled down at me sunlight beaming from his eyes. "I love you too."

He leaned in to kiss me but I pulled back. "Jake, I can't."

"Bella…" The pain that sliced across his face tore at my still heart.

"I'm sorry but I can't."

"Because of him?" I could feel the tremble through his hand that still held my face.

"No" I told him. "Because of me. I'm sorry Jake."

He backed away and I could see his whole body moving faster than normal. "Jake?" I reached out to calm him like normal but he pushed my hand away.

"Don't" I couldn't tell if he was shaking his head because he was telling me no or if it was because of the change. "Don't. Not now. I can't…..I can't be here."

He tore out of my room and I could hear his feet flying through the house. I heard Carlisle and Esme question him but there was no response. I felt my own body start to shake uncontrollably and I crumbled to the ground.

I had lost him. I had finally told him the truth and lost him. Now I really would spend forever alone. But more than that what would happen to Jake? Would he be able to be okay? What had I done?

Two arms wrapped around me and rocked me as I dry sobbed against his diamond hard chest. He didn't say anything just let me cry out all my frustration and pain. I felt like I was back in the woods watching Edward walk away all over again. Only this time it was my best friend, the only person that I knew loved me unconditionally, and I had pushed him away.

**AN: What is a young werewolf in love to do? I guess you will have to check back next week to see :). Don't forget to review. They are like little diamonds from heaven :).**


	17. Chapter 16: Letting Go

_Disclaimer: If you don't know by now then you never will. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I'm just having fun._

_**Chapter Sixteen: LETTING GO**_

_Jacob POV_

I had to get away. I had to get away now. How could I go back there? How could I go anywhere? I had lost her. Somehow, someway I had lost her and I knew that my life would never be the same.

This was worse than when I thought she was dying. Worse than when I realized she was turning into one of them. At least then there was hope. There was a chance that we could work everything out. I'm not as delusional as I might seem. I knew that there were problems and that there was every possibility that one day I would have to leave her or she would have to leave me but I thought it would be in the distant future. That I would get a chance to be with her first. That she wouldn't choose them over me; him over me.

I know that she said it had nothing to do with that damn leech but I'm not blind. I see the way that they look at each other. The way that she is with him and I know that he still loves her but he hurt her. He left her lying in the middle of the wood in the dirt and the rain and ran off to live his life without any thought as to her. Then to return just as she is being attacked by another of their kind and watched as her life slowly slips away. How could she forgive something like that? How could she give him another chance?

She should be with me. We should be running through the forest right now holding hands and smiling and laughing. She should be with Charlie taking care of him and making sure that he's going to be okay. She should be able to live the life she would have had if they had all just died when they were supposed to. But no, she was with them. She was locked up in their home living their lives and not her life with me.

How could she? How could she choose him over me? Didn't she know that I loved her that I would do anything for her? Hadn't I told her how I would never hurt her, that I could never leave her? But that was what I had done. I had run from her as soon as I realized what she was saying. Sure part of the reason was that I didn't want to phase in front of her in anger. With the rage that was running through me in that moment I might have hurt her and I would never be able to forgive myself if I had.

And then to tell me that she loved me. To stand there in my arms and say those words to me that I had been waiting patiently to hear but in the same breath say she didn't want me, how could she? I wanted to hate her. I wanted to group her with all of their kind but I couldn't. I dropped to the ground. She was my Bella. No matter what she always would be my Bella.

It wasn't her fault that she was bitten. Maybe it wasn't even her fault that she couldn't love me. Maybe no matter what we weren't destined to be. At least not like this. Maybe our destiny ended when her human life did. But what now? Could I be happy without her? Could I find someone else? If you lost an imprint could you find another one?

I got up and started to run back. Not toward Bella but toward answers. There was only one person that I could hope would know what to say. One person that would understand. I knocked on Sam's door.

"Hi, Jake" Emily greeted me. "Come on in, Sam's in the back."

"Thanks Emily" I walked passed her to the room that Sam used as his guy room. Where he kept all his books and tribal artifacts.

"Sam?" I called before I opened the door.

"Yeah, come in Jake" He was sitting in a chair that at one point must have been the right size for him but now looked incredibly uncomfortable. "What's wrong?" One look and he could tell.

"I…..Bella….." I couldn't finish but there was no need.

"She decided to be with him." It wasn't a question so much as a statement. It was as if he had known all along that I would end up here with those words on my lips.

"I don't know." I shrugged sitting on the floor by him.

"What do you mean?" He had laid down his book and was looking at me.

I told him everything that had happened. From waking up and finding Bella gone to her coming back and worrying about Charlie to her tell me that she loved me but then saying that she couldn't be with me. I opened up about what I had been feeling from her lately. How I had thought that we were growing closer but now I wasn't sure. I even told him how I didn't mind being with the bloodsuckers as much as I had thought that I would. How I had started to really consider Carlisle's offer to stay with them and be part of their family. I laid everything out for him so that he could understand. I knew that he had seen some of these thoughts in my head when we had both been in wolf form but I wanted him to really understand where I was at right now.

After I finished he just sat there. He didn't say anything but I could tell that he was thinking. I didn't know if he had the answers I was seeking but he was trying to find something to say. At this point I would take anything. I just needed to know that there was a chance that I hadn't lost her. That I could be happy. That maybe there was something else out there for me.

"Jacob" He paused collecting his words. "It was always a long shot that things would work out with Bella."

"No it wasn't" I said defensively. I knew that he had never liked it that I had gone against his orders and told Bella everything. He resented the fact that I imprinted on her when I wasn't even supposed to be seeing her.

"Maybe not while she was human but once she was bitten things changed, she changed."

"But my feeling didn't"

"Are you sure?"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Jake you always had such strong feelings toward Bella is it possible that you just didn't want to recognize that once she changed the feelings of imprinting went away." He was serious. "Maybe you just didn't want to let her go."

"Of course I didn't but that doesn't change the fact that I imprinted on her." I yelled at him. "That every thought I have has her in it. That when I see my future even now she is all that I see. That I would do anything, be anything for her."

"Then that is what you need to do."

"What?"

"You need to be whatever she needs you to be." He said quietly. "And right now it sounds like she needs you to be a friend. To possibly be the best friend that you have always been."

"But what about us?"

"Jake it can't be." He smiled a sad smile at me. "Think about this rationally for a minute. Are you going to never quit phasing because Bella can live forever? Are you never going to see Billy or your sisters again because you're busy following her around the world? What about school or family? She can't have children Jake. Are you okay with never being a father? Some obstacles are just too hard to climb and too big to change."

"But I love her." I said quietly.

"I know you do" He was nodding. "And I believe that she loves you but maybe it's not the kind of love that you were hoping for."

"Look Jake, she has already proven that she would do almost anything for you and that she cares for you and wants you in her life. You have to decide if that is enough." He spoke to my heart. "Are you going to love her enough to let her have the chance to be happy and give yourself that chance also? Or are you going to choose to be miserable and angry and lose the best friend you have."

"What if I already lost her?"

"I don't think you have." He was shaking his head. "She may not love you as an imprint normally does but from all you have shared and what the doctor said she is linked to you. There is a connection that I don't think can be broken. But I do think that you two need to talk. Really talk and see if you can come to some sort of compromise."

"What if that compromise still includes me going away with them?"

"I don't like the idea of it, but I can't stop you if that is what you decide." He looked saddened at the thought. "But whatever your decision you will always be my brother and you will always have a home here."

"Thank you Sam." We had had our few problems here and there but it meant a lot to me that he would be here now when I needed someone to talk to and understand.

"You're welcome" He stood and pulled me up to embrace. "So what are you going to do?" He asked sitting back down.

"I don't know" I shrugged. "You've given me a lot to think about."

"Are you going to go back tonight?"

"No" I shook my head. "I think I need some time and I should probably go check on Charlie and see my dad. He would probably like to have me back home again."

"I should say so but you won't find him at your house." Sam filled me in.

"Where is he?"

"He's been staying over at the Clearwaters helping out Sue and getting ready for Seth to phase." He shrugged.

I thought back over the last month and a half. It seemed like Quil had just turned himself. I thought that Seth would have at least a couple more months before the gene took hold of him.

"Is it Seth's turn already?" I couldn't imagine what Sue was going through. To lose her husband less than a month ago and now have to deal with one of your children turning into a giant wolf at all hours of the day and night.

"It should be some time now but not much more than a month." Wow, I had really been out of the loop.

"Maybe I should head over there. Talk to Seth."

"I'm sure Sue would like that and so would Seth." Sam grimaced. "I've been trying to keep my distance considering."

It was no secret that Leah was still angry with Sam for imprinting on Emily. He had broken her heart and that was something he regretted every day.

"You should have told me. I could have gone for you." I was the second in command.

"You haven't been around much lately."

I knew it was true. After everything that happened with Bella I let my responsibilities to the pack slide. It wasn't a good thing to do and I knew that the guys didn't hold it against me or at least most didn't. Paul was probably still pretty mad. He had been the only one that had thought about finding Bella and getting rid of her, imprint laws be damned, so that there wouldn't be any newborn vampire around and I could go back to normal.

Didn't he realize that if he had done something to Bella I would never be normal again? She was a part of me. Like a limb or something. I couldn't get rid of it. I couldn't just cut if off and expect to not miss it. Not remember the feel of having it with me.

With that one thought I knew what I would do. I knew what I had to do. There was no choice to make and there never had been. This wasn't about me. It was about Bella and what she wanted and needed.

"Looks like you might have made a choice?" Sam was smiling at me.

"I think so."

"Going home to pack?" He joked.

"No but I think you were right about talking." I let him know.

"So are you still not going back tonight?"

"Yes I'm not going back tonight." I said and saw the surprise on his face. "I'm going to check on Charlie as I said before and then head over to Sue's. Spend some time with Seth and my dad and then go home and sleep in my bed."

"What about Bella?"

"I think she has some thinking to do also so I might as well give her the time to do it." I didn't know if she would still want me around after I left the way I did but I had to hope so. No matter what I wanted and needed her in my life. I would just have to be happy with what ever came. I guess that was what happened with you loved someone. Sometimes you have to let them go.

"So will I see you tomorrow?" Sam was standing next to me.

"I think so." I nodded. "I still need to check Charlie everyday so that I can give her updates until he gets home."

"Is she going to be okay seeing him?"

I smiled. "My Bella is going to be just fine."

"What if she isn't your Bella anymore?"

"She'll always be my Bella." I clasped him on the back. "Just like I'll always be her Jacob. Some things never change." I left after that. There was nothing more to say.

I stopped by the hospital and chatted with Charlie for some time. He was in a better mood than he had been the last few times I had been by. He was excited about getting home and he was hopeful that Bella would be there when he got there. Like I had told her, he wasn't concerned that she hadn't been to the hospital. He just wanted to see her and know that she was okay because he loved her. I reassured him that he would probably be seeing Bella soon and then left to find my own father.

He was at Sue Clearwater's just as Sam had predicted. Leah was in one of her angry moods but I didn't let it get to me. I did note that she seemed more short tempered then normal but just chalked it up to having a werewolf in her home. Since everything with Sam she wasn't one of our biggest fans.

I talked to Seth and answered the questions that he had that Billy hadn't been able to answer. He was mostly scared that he wouldn't be able to learn to control it. That he would be at school and turn into a wolf in front of the whole class. I let him know that we wouldn't let him go back to school until we were sure that wouldn't happen. He was joining a brotherhood and we would protect him as best we could.

Billy left with me when Seth and I were done talking. I helped him back to the house and got him situated for the night before heading off to bed.

"You seem happier than I have seen you in a while." Billy mentioned as I turned to call it a night.

"I guess you could say I have decided to stop fighting." I shrugged.

"What does that mean?"

"It means that I have decided to let go and whatever happens; happens." I told him with a smile.

"You realize that doesn't make any sense?" He was still looking at me strangely.

"It does if you had the day that I did."

"Does this have anything to do with Bella and the Cullens?" He hadn't made it a secret that he didn't like the amount of time that I was spending over there but he hadn't pushed for me to come home.

"Doesn't everything in my world have to do with Bella?"

"I don't what you hurt Jacob" He said softly.

"You're too late for that but its okay." I told him how I felt. "It's going to be okay and so am I."

"You sure?"

I thought of all the great times that Bella and I had together and how we could still have those even if it was different now. I thought about the way that I could tell her anything and she always listened and understood. And I thought about how much she meant to me and how I wanted her to be happy.

"Yeah Dad, it's going to just fine." I felt my face break into a smile. It was a real smile. "I'm off to bed."

"I love you son." What was with everyone loving me today? I closed my eyes and shook my head.

"I love you too Dad." I walked over and gave him a hug. "See you in the morning."

"Waffles?"

"Sure, sure" I loved his waffles.

I made my way to my small little room and my twin sized bed. Just laying here made we wish for the comfort of Bella's oversized mattress and the coolness of her body next to mine. I didn't know if I would ever get to hold her like that again but I would always remember it. I would remember everything but I wouldn't let our relationship just live in my mind or in the past.

She was still here and if she would have me then I would be whatever she wanted. I wouldn't lose her even if that meant letting her go.

**AN: I hope that I did Jacob and Sam proud in this chapter. I wasn't sure how they would handle the situation so I just wrote from the heart. So I can't wait to hear what you think. Only a few more chapters left and I have been hard at work coming up with a little something new. I was originally going to go straight into the sequel to this story but I think I'm going to wait a little bit (haven't finished it) and if all goes well there might be a surprise by mid-spring. I can't wait.**

**Don't make me blue; please review :)**


	18. Chapter 17: Another Chance

_Disclaimer: If you don't know by now then you never will. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I'm just having fun._

_**Chapter Seventeen: ANOTHER CHANCE**_

_Edward POV_

_Edward are you back_, I heard Alice ask before I reached the patio. I had gone hunting mostly because I didn't need to be here while Jacob was with Bella.

I had been trying over the last week to be as friendly to him as I could and I had to admit that if it wasn't for his annoying habit of thinking of Bella as his I could see him being family. I was still holding on to the vision Alice had shown me. Every time Bella got closer to him or whispered something in his ear I thought of that glimpse of the future she had shared and it got me through until the time that I could be close to her again.

It had seemed as though she was trying to split her time between the two of us. I didn't know if that was so that neither got jealous or because she was trying to decide where her heart was but if it was the later I had done all I could think of short of telling her my heart to let her know that I still loved her. I would gladly give her the words if I wasn't scared that I would be left alone and hurting.

_Edward_, Alice was screaming in my head. _You need to be here for Bella_.

I rushed up to her room as fast as I could. "Why? What happened?"

_Nothing yet but I see her needing you soon_, she showed me a vision of Bella in her room sobbing on the floor.

"Did he hurt her?" I would kill him if he laid a hand on her. We hadn't become that close.

_Of course not_, she was scoffing the idea much as Bella did when I use to warn her against being associated with a werewolf.

"Then what Alice?" I was losing patience with her cryptic statement.

_I don't know_, she shrugged, _all I saw was Bella curled up on the floor._

I listened out for Jacob trying to figure out what could happen to leave Bella like that. Why would he leave her in that condition?

"Are you going to be ready by then?" I heard him asking her. Was she going to be ready for what?

"I have to be."

"Bella…"

"Jake, I have to be." There was movement. "I haven't seen him in over a month. He's been hurt and in the hospital and I haven't been there. How am I going to explain that to him?" They must have been talking about Charlie. I knew that Bella felt guilty for not being there for her father but she had done all that she could. She had pushed herself harder than any newborn I had ever seen to gain control over her bloodlust and she was ready. I wouldn't take her to a city like New York or Chicago but she would handle seeing Charlie just fine.

"You're going to tell him the truth" Was he insane? There was no way that she could tell him the truth.

"You can't be serious. There is no way that I can tell him the truth."

"Maybe not the complete truth but you can still tell him the truth."

"How?" Bella echoed my question completely.

"You tell him you needed time. You tell him that you wanted nothing more than to rush to his side when you heard what happened but you couldn't and for that you will always be sorry but you did what you could. You sent me and Carlisle and you kept up on his progress until you could be with him again."

"And you think that he will accept that?"

"Of course he will. He'll accept it because you're his daughter and he loves you. That's his truth."

He was right. Just when I thought I could hate him again he showed how well he knew Bella. I didn't want to see it but the truth was right there. If I couldn't be with her then he was the best that I could ask for. He understood her in a way that only a friend could and after listening to his thoughts for the last month I knew that he loved her and cherished her the same as I did. I didn't want to lose her but at least I would know that she would be treated as she should if I did.

"I love you Jake." I had known it was coming. I had thought I was prepared for it but those four words knocked the wind out of my body and pushed me to the floor. I felt Alice beside me but I couldn't concentrate on anything but Bella. I knew that I had just accepted that Jacob would be good to her but it still hurt beyond belief to hear that her heart belonged to him.

"I love you too."

I wasn't going to be able to stay here. I couldn't listen to them every night; watch them every day, knowing that I had given her up. That I had left and opened the doorway for him.

"Jake, I can't." My ears perked up.

"Bella…" I could hear the pain in his voice.

"I'm sorry but I can't."

_After everything he did to her and she still loves him? How can that be?_ Was he right? Did Bella still love me? "Because of him?"

"No, because of me. I'm sorry Jake."

His mind started to blur and I could only guess that was because he was losing control of the animal within. If he phased into a wolf by Bella he could hurt her. I sprang up and ran up the stairs. Placing myself outside her door in case I needed to rush in. This could be what Alice had seen and I wouldn't let him hurt her. "Jake?"

"Don't" _I have to get out of here. I can't do this near her. Not now, not like this. I could hurt her_. A picture of a pretty Indian woman flashed in his head. She had a scare on the side of her face that went from her eye to her lip. _I have to get out of here_. "Don't. Not now. I can't…..I can't be here."

He ran past me so fast I don't think he even noticed that I was there. I could hear Carlisle and Esme trying to stop him or comfort him but I didn't care. My mind was focused on Bella. I watched as she fell to the floor crumbling under the weight of what had just happened. I understood now how he could have left her in this condition. He had done it so that he didn't hurt her. He had done it because he loved her and he had known that she wouldn't be alone.

I walked in wrapping her in my arms. I held her to me as she cried. There were no tears but her body didn't know that. I had never seen her in this much pain. It didn't matter to me at that moment whether our love was stronger than his imprinting or how much I wanted her with me. I wanted her to be happy far more and I couldn't stand to see the pain that she was in right now.

I didn't stop her although my heart was breaking for this amazingly strong woman in my arms. She had been hurt so much. First by me and then by fate. She deserved to have someone by her side and I would make sure that she did. I would be whatever she needed. If she chose him I would put my pride and feelings aside and I would support her as much as I could. I wouldn't run away from her again. I wouldn't leave her alone ever again.

"Bella?" After an hour I couldn't take anymore. "Bella, do you want me to go looking for him? I could bring him back?"

"No" She was shaking her head. "I hurt him too much. He doesn't deserve this."

"Bella it's okay." I tried to be the friend that she needed. "He loves you and he'll forget all about this."

"He can't."

"Sure he can."

"But I don't want him to." Her body started to shake again.

"What do you mean?" I was confused.

"He deserves someone that can love him like he should be loved." She was barely audible over the sobs but I understood her. "Someone that can give him their whole heart, some one that wants to be more than just his friend."

"I don't understand?"

"I can't love him Edward." She looked up at me. "Not the way that he wants."

"Why?" My breath caught in my throat.

"Because I still love you."

I couldn't speak. He had been right. After everything I had done to her and all that I had put her through, all that she had lost because of me, she still loved me. How was that possible? I would worry about that later. Right now all I wanted was to feel her next to me just like before. I pressed my lips to hers not caring that it might be too soon or if the whole wolf pack came barging back in. It had been so long since I could hold her like this and I needed this time to show her all that I felt.

She molded herself to me putting her arms around my neck and letting her fingers run through my hair. My arms pulled her closer but relaxed at the last minute not wanting to hurt her. That was when I remembered that I didn't have to hold back anymore. She wasn't my fragile little human but a strong newborn vampire and she had proven over the last month that the only thing fragile about her was her heart and that I intended to protect for the rest of eternity.

I let myself go holding her in a way that I had never let myself before. I pressed my body to hers as firmly as I could and gave all myself to her in that kiss. I had never let myself taste her mouth fully because I had been concerned that I might lose control but now that wasn't a problem. I let my tongue glide against the cool stone of her lips relishing the new feel of her. She opened her mouth and I plunged in taking our kiss to another level.

I drowned in the feel of having our breaths mate and retreat. I thought I was in heaven until she pulled my tongue into her mouth and began to suck lightly at it. I soon learned that I didn't know what heaven was. My hands were aching to touch her. To let our passion build until there was nothing but her body covered by mine but I knew that we needed to talk. I needed to explain myself to her.

With great reluctance I pulled away placing light kisses against her lips, her check, and her eyelids. I wanted to kiss her everywhere but that would come. Now that I had her back there was no way that I was ever letting her go again.

"Bella we need to talk." I said into her open mouth as she began kissing me again. I should have stopped her but she felt so good and my body had been craving hers for so long that I lost myself in another kiss this time picking her up in my arms and walking away from this room into mine. I wanted to feel her under me in a bed where we would have room to move but I couldn't use her room after all the nights that Jacob had slept there. So my couch would have to do.

I laid her down following her with my body. She felt perfect. As if we were made to be together. Her hands had slipped under my shirt and I could feel her nails scratching against the metal of my skin. I growled low in my chest pushing her top up so that I could feel her the same way she was feeling me.

I was losing control and I knew that after months away from her if I didn't stop I was going to make love to her without telling her exactly how I felt.

I slowly pulled myself away laughing lightly when Bella protested. "Bella, love, we have to talk."

"Can't we talk later?" She was reaching for me again and ever bone in my body was fighting my mind to go back to her.

"Bella I really think we should talk before we go any further."

"Fine" She sat up next to me with the most adorable pout on her face. I wanted to kiss away the pucker between her eyebrows but if I let myself touch her again I wouldn't be able to stop.

"Bella I have to explain myself to you." I was looking into her now muted maroon eyes. "I have some things that I need to tell you and after that you need to decide if you still want to be with me."

"Do you want to be with me?" I could see panic in her eyes.

I knew it was my fault that she doubted that and I hated myself for it. "More than anything in this world" I said taking her face in mine.

"Then that's all I need to know." She was reaching. I dropped my hands to that I could hold hers still.

"Bella there is more that you should hear."

"Edward, I love you and I want to be with you and you've just told me that you want to be with me. What more is there to say?" She had a reflective look on her face. "I don't need to hear what happened while you were away. I don't think I could handle hearing about you with anyone else."

"There never was anyone else." I stopped her. "There never has been and there never will be."

I could see the confusion on her face. "Bella I left because of what happened at your birthday party." I told her the truth. "I couldn't take the chance that one of us would hurt you so I lied. I told you that I didn't love you but I was lying. I never expected you to believe me so easily. I thought I would have to pretend for hours before you would even entertain the notion of my not loving you but I didn't and it broke me that you lost faith in me so fast."

"I couldn't be around my family" Now that I had started everything was begging to be shared. "I found a hole of a room and locked myself up in it but even that wasn't enough to keep me from coming back to you. Every day I would go all the way to the airport but would stop because I had promised that I wouldn't be back, that I would keep you safe. So I would turn around and lock myself back in.

"After actually buying the ticket I realized that it was only a matter of time before I gave in and came back. So I decided to track Victoria. I had never been good at tracking and I didn't really think she posed a threat but I needed something to do so that I wouldn't rush back here."

"I thought I was following her to Brazil" I recounted the second greatest mistake in my life, "But she must have known that I was on her trail because it was a false lead and she doubled back here to you. I tried to get to you before she could. I called my family and had them rush back in case they could make it before me. I had Alice searching your future to try and find her. I went to your house but by then you had already left to go to the meadow."

"I don't think I had ever run so fast in my life. I want, needed to get to you before she could hurt you but I was late and she bit you and took you away from your family and Jacob and it's all my fault." Now I was the one that was sobbing. "If I hadn't lied to you then Victoria never would have gotten near you and you could have been with Charlie. Jacob wouldn't have imprinted on you and you wouldn't be hurting right now because of hurting him."

"I did this Bella and I would understand if you never want to forgive me" I was looking into her eyes hoping that she could look past all the wrong that I had done to her. "But if you will give me another chance then I will spend eternity proving to you every day how much I love you. How important you are to me and how cherished you are."

I waited hoping that I hadn't lost her for good. "Are you done now? Have you said all that you needed to say?"

"Yes"

"Then would you please kiss me again." She was smiling up at me.

"What?" I couldn't believe that after everything I told her she still wanted me. "You're forgiving me?"

"Edward, I forgave you long ago." She placed her hand on the side of my face. "I just needed to know that you loved me."

"With all that I am." I turned my face so that I could kiss her hand that was touching me.

"And that you want me."

"Until the earth grows cold." I leaned into her and kissed her again. "I love you Bella so much."

"I love you." She was looking at me the same as before but it was different this time. Maybe because this time we didn't have to stop or because we were equals in our relationship.

I didn't care what the reason was. I could see love and my heart reflected in her eyes and for forever that would always be enough.

**AN: I hope that everyone is perfectly fine with how I brought our two star-crossed lovers together. And don't worry too much about Mr. Jacob; I have plans for our little werewolf. Be sure to check the poll on my page about Jacob and let me know what you're thinking. But don't do that until after you have reviewed :)**


	19. Chapter 18: Finding Peace

_Disclaimer: If you don't know by now then you never will. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I'm just having fun._

_**Chapter Eighteen: FINDING PEACE**_

_Bella POV_

Waking up next to Edward now wasn't the same as it had been before. It was better. The morning looked so much better when you had been up all night in the arms of the man you loved. Every touch, every kiss was so much more potent now that I was a vampire. I didn't know if it was because he no longer had to hold himself back or because of my heighten senses. Either way I would take it gladly and for as long as I lived.

We had stayed up wrapped in each other, kissing and touching sporadically but mostly talking. There was so much that needed to be said and shared. So many things that needed to be explained and although the temptation was there to forget everything else and cast all the barriers aside I wasn't ready to cross that invisible line just yet. There was a certain friend I needed to speak with first.

I knew Edward was being understanding when I told him but I needed to know that Jake was alright. I could feel his pain just as if it was mine which made sense after Edward told me about Carlisle's conversation with Sam. I had wondered myself if something had changed within me and it was nice to know the answer to that. But imprinting aside, Jake was and would always be my best friend. He had a part of my heart long before he imprinted and I needed to know that he would be fine before I could move on and give myself completely to Edward.

When I had told him all this he had smiled and told me I wouldn't be the person that he loved if I didn't feel that way. It was amazing how accepting he was being of Jake. When I asked him about it he just said that he didn't want to ever hurt me again and he could tell that if something hurt Jake it would hurt me so he would do anything to protect him the same as he would me. I had been floored by the seriousness and commitment that I had heard in his voice. It was crazy to me to think that these two mortal enemies had found a way to coexist all because of me.

I snuggled closer to Edward enjoying my new position. We had moved a lot during the night sometimes sitting and others walking about his room but we always found ourselves lying back down together. He had mentioned going to buy a bed today so that we could be more comfortable if we were going to be staying for any amount of time. I told him we could use my room but he didn't take well to that idea and I could only guess that it had something to do with the fact that I had been in there with Jake.

Everything seemed to come back to Jake this morning. I hadn't expected him back last night but now I was getting worried. Edward had said that Sam told Carlisle the last wolf that lost their imprint had run away and was never seen again. I couldn't go through eternity never seeing Jake. Not knowing if he was alright. Whether we were tied together or not it would hurt too much.

I sat up determined to find him. If he had run away then I would go after him. I wasn't sure if Edward would be that understanding but it was something that I had to do. I wouldn't let him spend his life alone without anyone. He had family and brothers that needed him. Even if he hated me I would bring him back to them so that he would have someone to lean on when he needed. And I would try my best to be the friend that I had always been to him if he would let me. I had never and I would never turn my back on him.

I stood looking down at a smiling Edward. "Good morning" He reached for me but I stood my ground. I needed to track him before he could get to far away. Too bad I didn't know how to track someone but I was sure that anybody in this house could tell me. I just needed to ask.

"He's at his house Bella" I heard Alice from down below. "I swear you and Edward belong together. Both running off without thinking half the time."

I looked over to see Edward laughing as he sat up also. "Let me guess. You were going to find Jacob?"

"I was remembering what you told me about the other wolf." I shrugged hoping that he would understand. "I couldn't let Jake live out his life all alone in the woods somewhere."

"No I suppose you couldn't." He reached for me again. "So now that you know that he isn't roaming the earth all alone can you come back here so that I can wish you good morning properly."

I smiled and placed my hand in his letting him pull me back to the couch where I fell on top of him. His lips moved eloquently against mine stirring all the emotions and passion of last night. My arms wrapped tightly around him pulling myself as close as I could get. He growled his approval letting his hand move restlessly down my body. I could feel his need pulsing again me but he held himself to light touches and breathe stealing kisses. When he finally let me go I could barely move.

"That is the way I think we should start every day." He smiled at me.

"You'll get no complaints from me." I rose up to seal our lips together again. This time he's hands were under my shirt caressing my back in small circles. He moved to switch our positions and we fell off the couch with a loud bang.

"I have to get us a bed." His eyes were closed and his head fell to the crook of my neck.

"Way to go Eddie" Emmett called out. "It's about time."

I heard him snarl but it was drowned out by the laughter shaking the house. "I'm going to kill him. I am going to kill him." He kept repeating.

"Just think about what he's going to say when you bring in a bed." I couldn't help teasing.

"Maybe I can convince Jasper to take him hunting today." He was looking at me with a smile. "That way I won't have to kill him so much as beat him to death."

"I don't think Rose would let you." I thought of how protective they were of each other.

"All the more reason to make sure he's out of the house when I bring in the bed." He dropped a kiss on my lips that was supposed to be light but turned into the same as all our kisses from tonight. It was like I couldn't get enough of him.

"Jasper will do it Edward" Alice interrupted. "And Bella you should get dressed. Jake will be here in twenty-three minutes and sixteen seconds."

"Did she really need the seconds Alice?" I heard Rosalie ask.

"Who knows but it's always nice to be punctual." Alice informed her. I had to bury my head in Edward's chest to muffle my laughs.

"I missed this place while everyone was gone." I told him.

"Never again" He was kissing my neck. "I swear I will never leave you again."

"I know" I let his words and his caresses wash over me. "There's no reason now."

"Even if you hadn't been changed I wouldn't have the strength to leave you." He was still kissing me. "I barely made it the first time and to do so again would kill me."

"Good" I put my arms around him tightly. "I like having you here."

"Good" He smiled looking down into my eyes. "I love being here."

His head was on its way back down to me when Alice burst through the door. "What are you doing?" Edward growled at her.

"I can see that you would never let her go if someone didn't come up here and separate the two of you." She said with her hands on her tiny hips. "There will be plenty time for this in the near future but for today you both have way too much to do." She was pulling Edward off me. "Bella you have to talk to Jake and Edward you and I have some shopping to do."

He growled again which only caused me to laugh louder this time. "You should have known that you couldn't go shopping without her." I shrugged.

"I had hoped."

"Nonsense" Alice was shaking her head. "If I don't go you will take way too long to find what you're looking for and Emmett will be back when we get here which will cause a huge wrestling match that will end with you breaking Esme's table. And to top everything off you will have chosen the wrong one."

I was laughing harder than before. "Not to mention you" Alice turned to me. "Things will not go well if you stay in here with Edward and Jake walks in to find you. You need to talk to him and explain everything. There is a way Bella and you already know how to make this work."

"I do?" That was the best news that she could have given me.

"Yeah, you do." She smiled. "But not if you stay on the floor in Edward's room and not if we never go shopping." She pulled me off the floor and was pushing me out of the room. "Ten minutes and I expect both of you to be ready for the day."

"Yes sir" I saluted her laughing all the way to my room.

"I don't find that at all amusing Bella." She called after me. "And wear the stretch jeans with the polka dot green sweater and the dark green boots."

I walked over to the closet thinking of how much I loved Alice and how much she drove me crazy but I pulled out the outfit that she had directed and went into the bathroom to shower and change.

I was so nervous about seeing Jake. I wanted this to go smoothly and I was glad that Alice had seen things working out. I couldn't forget the look of naked pain that had been on Jake's face right before he ran from here yesterday and I hated that I had caused that. Now I just needed to find the way to make everything better and hopefully he would be fine. I could handle anything that needed to be done as long as Jake left here okay.

I walked out of the bathroom to see Jake sitting on my bed. He looked just as relaxed as he had before but I could feel the tension in the room. He looked up when he heard me but didn't say a word. We stayed in our positions, him on my bed and I standing by the bathroom, neither knowing where to start.

"I saw everyone leave" He said after minutes had passed. "Aren't they sacred that I might hurt you?"

"No"

"Do they think we need privacy?"

"Probably"

"Is that a good or bad thing?" The side of his mouth rose quickly and then went back to the straight line that it had been in since I walked out.

"I don't know." I wasn't sure why everyone had left but I was glad that they had.

"Are you scared I might hurt you?" I could see pain in his eyes as he looked up at me.

"No" I had never been scared of Jake and I couldn't imagine ever feeling that way.

"Do you think we need privacy?" He asked.

"Yes"

"Should I take that as a good or bad thing?"

"I'm not sure."

"I see" He smiled tightly at me. "Bella, we need to talk."

"I know." I had so much I wanted to say to him but the words were stuck in my throat and wouldn't come out.

He held up his hand and I took it. We sat on the bed facing each other but there was a distance between us that felt bigger than the mere inches that separated us.

"Bella, you know that I love you."

"I love you to Jake and I'm so sorry." I started but he held a finger to my lips.

"Bella let me finish." I nodded and he continued. "As I was saying, I love you. I have loved you for half my life and when I became a werewolf the only thing I could think of was how I couldn't be with you anymore. But then I saw you and everything shifted. I knew that there was nothing more important to me than you. That you were what was holding me together, you were what would always hold me together and I wanted to be everything to you."

"I knew that you were broken. That his leaving had left its scare but I didn't care. I thought that if I was patient enough and there for you enough that you would eventually see what I saw which was how perfect we were for each other. I never dreamed that you would be changed into one of them and I think that if you hadn't everything that I wanted for us would have come true."

"It would" I interrupted him. "I could see it Jake. All of it and there is a huge part of me that wants that future. That mourns the fact that I can't have it anymore, that it's no longer an option for me; for us."

I could see a tear in his eye but he held it in. He took a deep breath and began again. "Bella, the last thing I want is to ever lose you. I don't think I could take it."

"I don't want to lose you either." I jumped on his statement. Alice's words resonating in me. I knew the answer. "Jake I don't think we have to lose each other. Where is it written that an imprint has to be your mate?"

"What do you mean?" He had an eyebrow raised to me.

"Jake, you're my best friend and have always been my best friend." I told him. "I would never have survived those summers up here with Charlie if it hadn't been for you and I would have been a basket case if you hadn't been there for me when Edward left. You have always been my soul mate even before you imprinted. It's just that imprinting confused everything."

"It made us reach for something more." He finished for me. "Made us, me, want something else."

"I wanted it to Jake but fate had other plans. But that doesn't mean that we, you, can't be happy. That there isn't someone out there for you that can love you and treat you the way that you deserve. That can give you all the things that I can't."

"Do you think?" He looked so hopeful and I had never wanted to be all that he needed more.

"Of course" I smiled back. "And if you want I can ask Alice. Now that she can see you maybe she can see your future."

He laughed. "I think I'll stick to letting nature take its course."

"Makes sense" I knew that he still wasn't comfortable with Alice seeing him but not the others. "You remember when you told me how the imprinting worked."

"Yeah"

"You said that you would be whatever I needed."

"I know and I will." He moved closer to me.

"Well, right now I need my best friend and I could swear he needs his." I smiled over at him.

"Yeah he does." He was nodding.

"I'll always be your best friend Jake." I hugged him. "No matter what."

"I feel the same way."

I pulled back to look into his face. I needed to see that the pain was gone and it was. He smiled and I saw my sun.

"So can I still call you baby?" He joked.

I laughed. "I don't care but it might confuse things."

"You might be right." He paused. "How 'bout Bellababy? Kinda like one word."

He was happy and I couldn't ruin that. "Sure Jake" I smiled figuring I could give as good as he was. "Can I call you Jakey?"

"You haven't called me that since we were like seven."

"Actually I was seven and you were five." I corrected him. "But if you get to give me a nickname then I get to give you one too."

He looked over and placed his hand in mine. I hoped that he would never feel uncomfortable doing just that. I knew it was selfish and I should just let him go but I wanted him in my life. He was such a huge part of everything that I was and I couldn't just cut him out.

I believed that he would find someone that could be everything for him and I prayed that he would be open to it when she came. I wanted him to experience the happiness that was waiting for him and I didn't want anything to hold him back.

"So you really want to call me Jakey?" He tried to tickle me but with my new skin his fingers only felt like feathers. "That's the best nickname you could come up with?"

"It's better than Bellababy." I laughed at him. "That's not even a word or a name."

"But it fits and it's sentimental."

"So is mine." I reminded him. "Who else use to call you Jakey?"

"No one."

"So there" I stuck my tongue out at him and laughed at my own immaturity.

"Fine" He was laughing now too. "If it makes you happy then you can call me Jakey."

"Thank you." I smiled and hugged him again. "I really do love you Jakey."

"I love you too Bellababy."

I kissed him on the check. "Thanks for being my friend."

He smiled down at me. "Anytime."

**AN: I hope everyone is happy with how this chapter came together. I personally happen to love it. I decided to post on Tuesday because I have a new story coming and I wanted to finish this one so that I could post the beginning this week. It should be out either tomorrow or Thursday. Only one more chapter left and then an epilogue. So without further ado.**

**BTW, don't forget to review. With only one chapter left I need all the reviews I can get :)!!**


	20. Chapter 19: Coming Home

_Disclaimer: If you don't know by now then you never will. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I'm just having fun._

_**Chapter Nineteen: COMING HOME**_

_Bella POV_

"Charlie comes home next week." Edward informed me while wrapping his arms around my waist. "Are you ready?"

I nodded. It actually had taken two months before Charlie had been ready to come home instead of the month that Carlisle had originally predicted. Although I missed seeing my father I was glad for the extra time. It turned out I had needed it. Just when we had thought that I was completely ready a teenage girl had walked past me during a practice session in Raymond. My eyes had glazed and darkened in hunger and I had become a wild animal in Emmett and Edward's arms. They had pulled me away with Alice letting everyone know that I was having some sort of seizure. I didn't like seeing that side of me and it scared me to think that I was becoming what Edward had always feared. But that had been a week ago and we had gone to two different cities one bigger than Raymond and I had been fine.

I was still nervous but I knew that Edward would be with me as would Carlisle, Alice, Sam, Embry and Jake. It could just be Edward and Jake and I would know that I was in good hands. Both my men where the best in the world and I knew that they would never let me do anything I might regret. It was strange and wonderful to think that I had found a way to keep them both in my life and they were exactly where I wanted and needed them to be.

"Bella, are you worried about seeing Charlie?" Edward had turned me around and was staring into my eyes.

"A little nervous but not worried." I smiled up at him. "I know that neither you nor Jake will let me hurt him."

"Don't you trust the others?" He flashed me the crooked smile I loved.

"Yes." I reached up and kissed him. "But not as much as I trust you."

He smiled and kissed me more firmly. We still hadn't been together completely even though I had made peace with Jake and fully embraced my relationship with Edward. It wasn't that I wasn't interested and I could feel how much Edward wanted me but I think we both still felt it was too soon. It had only been a week since we had found our way back to each other and we needed time to get use to the new aspects of our relationship.

At least that was what I assumed it was. I didn't want to think that Edward still wasn't sure that he owned my heart. Yes I loved Jake but it was so different from the way I loved Edward. There was no competition between the two. Jake was my best friend and my human soul mate but Edward was my life. He was all that I could ever want in this world or any other. He filled my heart with love and my soul with passion and I wanted nothing more than to live out eternity in his arms.

I pulled back looking into his heat filled eyes. "Edward" I breathed against him.

"Soon" was all he said. "Soon" and then he pulled me against him for another searing kiss. I would have argued that I needed to know when soon was but I couldn't think with his hands on my body and his lips separating mine. All I wanted to do was fall into the new bed that he had purchased and make love with him until neither of us could move.

I heard him growl against my lips and then he pulled away. "Carlisle is coming and he needs to speak with us."

"How did you…?" I started to ask but then I remembered that Alice could see it and he would hear it as her vision played out. "Should we head downstairs then?"

"We have a few more minutes." His lips were against mine before he finished speaking.

"Edward, I need you." I moaned into him. He had to know what he was doing to me.

"I know." His mouth was pressed to my neck as his tongue ran up and down the side resting just above my collarbone. "I need you too."

"Then when?"

"Soon."

I groaned and pulled away from him slightly. "Stop telling me soon. Why can't it be now?"

"Because."

"Because what?" I asked growing agitated. "Does this have to do with Jake?"

"No" He shook his head. "I trust that everything is as it should be between you two but I just want everything to be right when I finally make love to you." He took my face in his hands. "Bella I have been dreaming about the two of us being together since I first fell in love with you. I want our first time to be everything that you ever thought it should be and I want your mind clear and focused on me."

"It will be" I let him know.

"Not until your father comes home and you know that you can see him."

I was floored. "That's what you're waiting for?"

"Bella, I know how much you've missed him over the last two months and how important he is to you. I want everything to be perfect and I think that includes knowing that Charlie is at home and well and that you can see him whenever you want until we have to leave."

"Edward, yes Charlie is important to me and I love him dearly." I wanted him to understand that there was no reason to wait. "But that doesn't mean that my mind will be on anything else but you. I want us to be together in every way possible. That alone will make it everything I ever wanted or thought it could be."

"Thank you but for me, for my mindset, could we just wait a few more days until Charlie comes home." He kissed my ear. "I promise to make it worth it."

I melted into him letting my body touch every inch of his. "Well, we waited this long." I was having a hard time standing as his mouth kissed a trail to the center of my breast. "What are a few more days?"

"Good" He growled against my skin making me more excited then I already was.

His hands were under my shirt and they were moving to cup my breast as we backed our way to the bed in the middle of the room. "Damn" I heard him groan in the back of his throat and I had a feeling he wasn't going to be able to wait anymore than I could.

That was until he pulled away. "Carlisle is home and he's summoning us." He told me as he straightened himself up.

"Perfect timing" I asked sarcastically.

"No doubt" Edward agreed taking my hand in his as we made our way down to the living room where everyone else was already sitting.

"Sorry we interrupted." Emmett smirked at us. "But Carlisle said this was important."

"I can speak for myself Emmett" Carlisle scolded as Edward snarled. We all turned to him to hear what was important enough to call a family meeting.

"First off I want to congratulate Bella for doing so well on controlling her thirst." He smiled at me. "That will help tremendously when we have to decide where to move next."

I hated when they talked about moving. I wasn't ready to leave Charlie or Jacob and I didn't want to think about the day when I would have to.

"Second, I need to let you all know something that I discussed with Edward a number of weeks ago." Carlisle was looking at Edward and I saw him shake his head in answer to whatever Carlisle had asked. "Apparently, he has been very quiet about it." He looked to Alice and she smiled.

"I didn't see any reason to share when his decision hasn't been made yet so I can't see whether he will or won't be with us." She answered whatever he had wanted to know.

"So it appears that there is more to explain than I originally thought." Carlisle looked to me. "I assume that Edward told you about my conversation with Sam."

"Yes" I nodded in agreement.

"Well, according to Sam, who is the leader of the pack, Jacob and Bella are linked in a very strong way." Carlisle spoke to the rest of the room. "There is no way to know what affect separating them will have long term. With that in mind I told Jacob that should the need arise he was welcome to live with us wherever we might go."

"For how long?" Rosalie asked the same question going through my head.

"For as long as is needed." Carlisle sat patiently as the news sank in.

"Do you think that's safe Carlisle?" Jasper was wondering.

"Like we couldn't take one little wolf if he got out of hand." Emmett joked and I didn't like the idea of him and Jake fighting.

"I don't like it." Rosalie looked to me. "I'm sorry Bella but it just isn't normal for a wolf to live with a group of vampires. It's going to make us stand out. And how is he going to handle you and Edward being together when he would be odd man out. It was hard enough for Edward and he was actually part of this family and not a member by association."

"First off Rose" Alice jumped in before I could say anything. "We already stand out so adding Jake isn't going to change that. Second it's no different than having a human live with us and that's basically what we did last summer with Bella. At least with Jake no one here would be tempted to bite him."

"That's true" Emmett added. "The smell alone makes you not want to get near him." He smiled. "Although I have to admit that it doesn't bother me nearly as much as when he first started coming around. So I guess if it's what my baby sister needs then I'm okay with it." He winked at me.

"I think that it will be fine." Alice smiled at me. "Besides he's not as annoying now that I can see his future and he stopped phasing and ripping apart the clothes that I bought him." She crossed her arms. "Which I could swear he did on purpose."

"If Alice says it's fine then I am okay with it." Jasper held her hand. He always followed Alice's lead no matter where it might take him.

"You all know that I love having people to take care of and cook for so as long as he doesn't destroy any of the furniture" she looked to Emmett "Then I'm okay with it. I trust you Carlisle."

I looked to Edward who was looking at me. "Would this make you happy?"

I wanted Jake with me but I wanted him to have a good life too and I wasn't sure that could happen while traveling from state to state with a bunch of vampires and being away from his family. And I didn't want to agree with Rosalie about anything concerning Jake but she had a point. With Edward and I together now how would that affect Jake. Could he live under the same roof as us and be fine with seeing the two of us together?

"I don't know." I answered honestly. "I want Jake to have all he deserves but I'm not sure that he can find it being with us."

"Okay" He put his arm around my shoulder and looked to Carlisle. "Bella knows Jake best so whatever she decides it where my vote rest."

"I understand" Carlisle accepted that. "It might not matter what we have decided. As Alice said he hasn't made up his mind yet but I just wanted everyone to be aware."

"The last thing has to do mostly with you Bella."

"Me?" I looked over at him.

"Yes, you and Charlie." His smile was soft but I immediately tensed thinking something was wrong with my father. "Bella, Charlie is ready to come home but I'm not sure that he will be able to handle being in that house alone and there is no way you could move back even with how good you've been doing."

"What about the nurse?" I looked to Alice.

"I found a great one and she will be ready when Charlie is but she might not be enough." Alice was filling me in.

"So does he need to stay in the hospital longer?" I wasn't sure I could wait too much longer to see him.

"I'm not sure it's as simple as that." Carlisle went on. "He is going to need someone to be there with him around the clock. To help him move around and to give him physical therapy. He needs someone that can take him to all his doctor appointments as well as make sure that he is eating and taking care of himself. A lot of nurses won't do all those things."

"What are you suggesting?"

"I think that he should either be placed in a nursing home for a few months or" He paused looking around.

"Or?" I prompted.

"This is a little out of the norm as far as treatment goes."

"Just spit it out Carlisle." I wanted to know what he thought was the best thing to do for my father.

He took a deep breath. "Bella I think Charlie should move in here with us."

**AN: You know how I love to end a story with a cliffhanger. I am so mean :). Alright, so I guess if you want to know whether Charlie moves in with the Cullens and what kind of insanity ensues then you are just going to have to keep a look out for the next installment "Heart's Renewal" coming hopefully soon.**

**Don't forget to review. It makes my face smile.**


	21. Epilogue

_Disclaimer: If you don't know by now then you never will. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I'm just having fun._

_**Epilogue**_

_Jacob POV_

_It should be soon_, Sam told me.

We had been outside the Clearwater home at different times for the last two weeks. Everyone felt that it was only a matter of time before Seth joined us and we wanted to be here to welcome him into the brotherhood. We were both saddened and excited to have him become a member because it was a rite of passage being a descent son of the first wolf.

Sam and I were in wolf form so that when Seth came out we would be able to communicate with him while the others were gathered around ready to phase should the need arise. We didn't know if or how fast Seth might take off.

I remembered when I had finally changed. I hadn't known what was coming like Seth did but Sam and the others had been there to help. I had run out of the house terrified to find a huge wolf standing in my yard and relieved to find that I wasn't alone. I had taken off running but the sound of their voices in my head had calmed me more than I would have thought. Sam had reminded me that I wasn't alone, that they were here for me and that everything would be alright.

Things had changed so much since that night but one thing had stayed the same; Bella. Or more accurately my thoughts about Bella. She had been all I could think about at that time and she still was. True our relationship had changed quite a bit since then but she was still my best friend and I still loved her. I just had to let her go. However I was glad that she hadn't moved yet.

I still divided my time between the Cullens, the hospital and here. And I would be glad when Charlie came home next week and Seth changed because I was getting sick of feeling so scattered. Once these two things were done then I could relax and only split my time between the Cullens and Charlie's.

It completely surprised me that I could feel comfortable in that house. There is no way that if you told me two months ago that I would be practically living in a house filled with vampires I wouldn't have laughed right in your face but that was what I was doing. I didn't like the fact that Bella was one of them or that she had gone back to Edward but for all their faults they were pretty nice.

Emmett treated me just like a younger brother and even laughed when I teased Rosalie which I did a lot. Out of all of them she was my least favorite although Jasper still kept his distance most times. We never wrestled like Emmett and Jasper loved to do because there was the possibility that natural instincts would kick in and we wouldn't be having fun as much as trying to kill each other. Esme feed me better than Billy had ever tried and she was a wonderful cook. I had even taken some home to Billy and he had started to put in request for his next meal. Carlisle saw this as an opportunity to enhance the relationship between the vampires and the wolves and would always let me know that I wasn't the only one invited over. He was so interested in us that at first I had become suspicious but then Bella explained how he just loved to learn. That it was a passion of his and I relaxed.

The two most surprising relationships I had developed were with Alice and Edward. Alice was like the sister you didn't really want because she was so hyper but you love her because you just can't help it. She took me shopping and warned me when I might be needed with the other wolves. At first it was weird having her walk past me and just let me know what was going to happen but I've sort of gotten use to it and she has to be the funniest person to talk to next to Bella because you never knew what she was going to say. I guess seeing the future at a moment's notice would do that to you.

Then there was Edward. He had welcomed me as if I was an extension of Bella. He wanted to know everything about me and that I was doing alright. It was like he was nervous that if something happened to me then something would happen to Bella. If Emmett treated me like a younger brother than Edward treated me like a son. He invited me along with them hunting which I had yet to accept. The thought of watching Bella attack a deer while funny was just something I wasn't ready to see yet. He had helped me decorate the attic as my own. Granted Alice had it almost done by the time we realized what she was doing but he had helped with the little touches. He did everything he could to keep me around and happy. It was quite generous of him. Of course if I had been the one to get the girl I guess I could have been generous too.

Which always brought my thoughts back to Bella. We weren't where I thought or hoped we would be but we were closer than ever. We talked for hours every day and she told me just about everything and I could share with her the same way. We rode our bikes most days and I didn't get any prizes as good as the first time but she always made sure I had something for winning. She was worried for Seth letting me know how much he had reminded her of me when they first met. If I was late showing up she would call me on the new cell phone that I had courtesy of the Cullens. Perks of knowing a group of vampires that never age and have an unlimited supply of money. If I had thought we were best friend before we were more than that now and although I didn't get to spend every night next to her or kiss her whenever I wanted I was happy with the relationship we had found.

_Do you sense that_, Sam questioned.

I put the thoughts of Bella and the Cullens out of my head and focused on the voices and emotions coming from the house before us. I could feel anger rising and I could hear Sue begging someone to calm down.

"Oh God no" I heard my father exclaim in a voice that was filled with pain and fear. Something was wrong. It had to be. He had been expecting Seth to change, we all had, there would be nothing for him to be afraid of unless something had gone wrong.

_Something's not right_, I let Sam in on my theory.

_We should send someone in_ – Sam

_They would have to phase for us to tell them and I don't think we have enough time. I guess we could catch their attention and motion for them to head inside._

_I'll send Jared. Paul is too much of a hot head._ – Sam

_Good choice_, I agreed with Sam but he never got the chance to do anything. Within minutes of our conversation ending we were hit with new thoughts, new worries.

_What the hell? Why am I looking down at Billy and my mother? Did I just knock over the couch? My body feels so weird. Why is Seth looking at me in shock?_ The voice we heard was achingly familiar. I looked over to Sam to see his eyes had widened and he was back on his haunches. This was not expected and it would be the hardest on him.

A tall, lean, sandy brown wolf barreled out of the door and pause to look into our awaiting eyes. Sam couldn't raise his head to look over at the animal standing before us so I had to step into the leadership position I had never wanted.

_Relax_, I tried to make my voice as calm as I could. Ironically I thought of Carlisle in that moment and how he was able to put you at ease with nothing more than a hello. _Everything is going to be just fine._

_Jake? _The wolf looked at me with confusion registering in their new eyes._ Why can I hear you? What's happening to me?_

_I'll explain everything but you have to stay calm. _Again I glanced at Sam. He hadn't moved since we realized in wasn't Seth that had changed.

_Jake if you don't start explaining what is going on I am going to rip you apart and right now I feel as if I could._

_I know. It's the anger. That must be what caused the change. _

_What change? _The eyes darted around.

_Leah, I'm sorry, _Sam spoke for the first time since she walked out_. I'm so sorry._

_Sam? _She looked at the wolf now standing next to me_. What the hell are you two talking about? And why is everyone staring at me?_

_Leah you're a wolf, _I told her_. You're one of us now._

_Bullshit, _she wailed at me_. _

_Look down at yourself, _I motioned with my head toward her legs_. Tell me how you can hear my thoughts and Sam's if we are lying to you?_

I saw her eyes look over her body. Her head jerked up to stare down Sam. _You did this to me._ She was screaming. _You turned me into some sort of freak. Breaking my heart wasn't enough you had to make it so that no one would ever what me again. How dare you? How dare you? _

She jumped from the porch and threw herself again Sam. She was biting and clawing against him and he was doing nothing to defend himself. He just lay there letting her have her revenge.

Jared and Paul phased before I could stop them seeing as I was busy trying to pull Leah off Sam. _What the hell is going on? _Paul was questioning.

_I hate you, I hate you_, Leah hadn't stopped screaming at Sam since she found out that she had been the one to change not Seth.

_Was that…? _Jared's surprised voice asked.

_Help me get her off him_, she was moving faster than I could manage alone.

_Her?_ Embry had obviously joined in.

_Is that Leah?_ Quil asked last.

_Yes_, Jared had moved to help and we both finally had a hold on her.

_I'll kill you for this Sam_, She screamed at him_. I'll kill you._

_Leah you have to calm down_, I let Embry take my place holding her back while Quil, Paul and I stood between her and Sam. _He didn't do this to you. We were expecting Seth not you. As far as any of us knew no women had ever become wolves but that doesn't change anything. You are still our family._

_Are you serious?_ She was looking at me now instead of Sam. _Everything has changed. I'm a wolf for pete's sake. What the hell am I suppose to do now? Who is ever going to want me now?_

I knew these were valid questions and I had no answers for any of them. How could I? I had thought I had found my soul mate only to have her changed into the one thing I had been put on this earth to destroy. Could I reassure her that someone would be there for her when I wasn't sure I still believed that myself.

Even in her changed state I had to say that Leah was the most beautiful wolf I had seen. It was like she glowed or something. I couldn't deny that any man would be lucky to have her.

_Leah everything is going to be alright but you need to calm down so that you can change back and we can explain everything._

I wasn't sure if she would be able to manage the transition back. It had taken almost a day for me to change back into myself that first time and Quil had been almost as long but it had seemed longer because I had wanted to be with Bella.

We stood out there for as long as it took. Watches didn't really go well with wolf transformations so we had no way of knowing. Our only clue was that the sun had set long ago by the time that Leah finally looked like she was calm enough to pull the wolf back in. I ducked away to change back so that I would be able to talk to her when she came out of it while the other changed back.

By the time I returned Leah was standing there instead of the wolf. Jared and Embry were still next to her but they had dropped their hold and where standing there with mouths open. I looked to see the same look reflected on Paul and Quil's face. Sam just looked more in pain then he had when Leah had attacked him. I looked back at Leah and then I understood my brothers.

She was naked. Sure we all had gone through this in the beginning but it was different being surrounded by other men. Now we had a woman in our mist and I could see that this wasn't going to go well at all. I didn't mean to stare but she was amazing. I had only seen one other woman without clothing but Bella and I had been so young then and it was nothing like looking at Leah.

"Leah, you're um…" I motioned to her body and she looked down gasping and running back into the house.

The others went to change back and then we all waited outside until it was safe to go in. My cell phone vibrated in my pocket and I pulled it out to see that I had missed seven phone calls and had a new text message.

To: Jake

From: Bellababy

Where are you Jakey? We have to talk. I need you as soon as you're free.

I wanted to run off to her right then but I knew that I had a responsibility to the pack right now. Sam was basically catatonic and with being the second in command this whole transition was going to fall right to me. I hated leaving Bella without me but I had to accept that she had others to take care of her now when I couldn't be there and Leah needed me to. Still it was Bella.

To: Bellababy

From: Jake

I'll be there as soon as I can.

I closed my phone and proceeded inside to wrap this up as fast as I could so that I could get to Bella. I guess I was right; some things never changed and they never would.

**AN: I hope you have enjoyed this little project of mine and I hope that you will continue along with me when the next installment comes out. Meanwhile, I have a new story that I would love for you to check out. It's called "Kidnapped" and the first two chapters will be out tomorrow. I look forward to hearing from you all not just for the new story but for the ending of this one. As always, don't make me blue please review :).**


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